Jaylor One Shots

That Isn't How This Works

Another sentence starter!

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"This isn't healthy." Joe looks at me with concern in his eyes but I can't do anything but stare at him blank faced. He'd called her out on something that no one ever had before. He's seeing through the walls she'd built up around her, not allowing anyone to see her darkest secrets. 

"But, it is. This is just how you loose weight, it's normal." Joe walks up to her, gripping her arms with his hands and looking her dead in the eye, still with an overwhelming amount of concern. 

"Taylor. You can't just starve yourself. That's not healthy. I don't care how many stupid diet blogs or magazines or whatever might be saying. I care about you so I'm not going to let you just starve yourself." She can't quite comprehend what he's saying to her. She eats. But when she gains weight, she diets. Dieting means eating less food, tracking exactly what you're eating and counting calories so you loose the weight you've gained. All Taylor can do is shake her head. 

"Surely you feel hungry? Surely you feel out of energy on stage and stuff?" Taylor shrugs,

"I mean I guess, but that's normal. You don't understand, I can't gain weight. People will notice and assume I'm pregnant or something. This is how you make sure you're not gaining weight." Joe shakes his head,

"Taylor. It's not normal. This isn't healthy babe, please don't do this to yourself. You're so beautiful and nothing will ever change that." Taylor can see that he's in pain because of this, she can see the concern in his eyes.

"How can you stand there and say it's not normal? You're not a woman in this society, you haven't been in the spotlight since you were a teenager! This is just the way it is!" Clearly they both have very different views on this situation but Taylor is convinced she's right but he's scaring her.

"Fuck Taylor, you're breaking my heart. I know, I have no idea what you go through on a daily basis. I can't even imagine the pressures that have been put on you throughout the years to be absolutely perfect but do you want to know the truth? This isn't perfect. This is dangerous and terrifying for people like me who care so much about you. I'm not going to let you do this to yourself." Taylor hears his voice crack and she sees a few stray tears fall out of his eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was make him cry and she begins to feel eyes sting with the threat of tears. The silence in the room is deafening as Taylor bites her lip, trying to hold back her own tears while watching Joe's slide down his face. His arms are hanging by his side and he seems defeated, he seems genuinely upset by the idea that she's starving herself. Now that she thinks about it, maybe the way she'd been dealing with food over the years isn't healthy. She knows she'd lost weight but she'd always been told that was a good thing. Maybe she'd gone too far. But god, the tabloids, the media...they all made it so hard for her to have a real perception of what normal is. 

"I just..." Taylor sighs before continuing,

"I'm sorry. I know you didn't sign up for this mess." Joe shakes his head at her.

"That's not what this is. I'm not standing here, telling you this isn't something I can deal with. I'm standing here, begging you to let me help you. So please don't reduce this to that, I don't think that's very fair." He's right, Taylor realises. All he's tried to do is help her and all she's done is push him away, or try and brush it off. She hangs her head,

"I know you are...I just can't read another fucking headline that claims I'm pregnant, or letting go of myself because I've gained weight. I just can't." Her voice finishes at a whisper as stray tears begin falling from her own eyes. When Taylor looks back up at Joe, all she can see is love and concern bleeding from every ounce of the way he's looking at her. Joe grabs her hand and she lets him lead her over to the couch. He sits her down and looks her in the eye,

"I know it's not going to be easy. I know how hard all of that is for you. But I think we can do this, I think we can find a way for you to avoid those articles long enough for you to feel confident enough in yourself that you don't even have to do that. All I want is for you to be healthy and happy. You can't do that if you're starving yourself to fit some ridiculous beauty standard that doesn't even make any sense." Joe wipes her tears away gently. Taylor sits silently for a while, letting his words roll around in her brain. Maybe she should try to stop the mentality of starving, or fearing the weight gain. If not for herself, then for him. Maybe he is right, maybe this isn't healthy. Maybe her view is just so contorted from years of being scrutinised under the heavily misogynistic beauty standards every expects her to live up to. Taylor moves closer to him, burying her face in his neck and wrapping her arms around his body, trying to find some comfort in his warmth so she can figure out what to do. She feels his arms wrap tightly around her very small frame, holding her as close as he can, her body pressed up against his. A small sigh escapes through her lips,

"Okay. Maybe you are right. I'm not sure. But I'm going to try, I promise. No more dieting or whatever. I'm going to try." She whispers softly into his ear, tears running back down her face.

"Okay. And I promise you, I'll be here with you every step of the way. You'll probably be annoyed at me and will end up telling me to fuck off or something but I just want to help you. We're in this together, love." Taylor smiles and leans back slightly, bringing her lips crashing onto his, trying to convey as much love as she can through the kiss, trying to show him how much she cares. Despite still trying to work out if he's right or not, one thing she can very clearly tell is how much he cares about her and her wellbeing and it's touched her more than he'll ever probably realise, or she'll ever be able to show. When they both part from the kiss, Taylor smiles slightly, tears still in both of their eyes.

"Thank you for caring. Thank you for standing with me." Joe offers her a smile, running his hand gently through her hair.

"Anytime."

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The two of them are curled up watching Taylor's documentary that is set to be released in January 2020. When the scene of Taylor talking about her eating disorder, and the way she was feeling comes on, she feels Joe tighten his grip around her body and he kisses the top of her head. Taylor looks up at him and smiles,

"You've come so far Taylor and I'm so proud of you." Happy tears slip down both of their cheeks as their lips join for a soft, loving kiss.

"I couldn't have done it without you. So, thank you for everything." Joe smiles again, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I'll do anything for you, love. I love you so so much."

"I love you too." She says softly, resting her head on his shoulder as they continue watching the rest of her documentary.