Jaylor One Shots

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She's been ignoring him all week - terrified of her own feelings. She's slowly trying to pull away, having noticed how deep her feelings are running. Taylor knows that this is the best thing for him, Joe deserves the entire world and she just can't give that to him. He doesn't deserve the chaos her life will bring, hell, he probably doesn't even feel the same way about her. She's just an emotional mess, in every capacity and it's time for her to cut him loose. To protect him from her. 

Joe's messaged her so many times today, they'd been funny, lighthearted texts in the morning - but now she's not responded once his messages appear more concerned. She feels her heart clench as each one comes in. She wants to cry, she wishes more than anything that this could become something, that she wasn't as fucked up as she is. Wishes that  she could have the ability to jump in head first with a guy like Joe. Because he's sweet and thoughtful - he cares about the people in his life, doesn't keep people around just for the sake of it. She wants to be more like him in her life, appreciates his honesty and general placidity. She's tired of her emotions taking hold of her, tired of keeping things bottled up just to please everyone in the room. 

She spends the next two hours brooding around her apartment, barely moving from the couch at all. What she didn't expect, was a knock on her door. And even less, that it would be Joe on the other side. Her breath hitches, and before she can close the door on him, he's barged his way into her apartment. 

"What's wrong? It's not like you to ignore messages all day long." He seems concerned and she can't handle it. 

"Nothing's wrong, I've just been busy." She folds her arms across her chest, feeling slightly defensive. She isn't sure why she just automatically throws up these walls, it's almost an instinct now after the last few years. He just looks at her, as though he doesn't believe her. "Well, what are you doing here then?" Her tone sounds mean, she knows it does. 

"Taylor, I was a little concerned today. I just wanted to check up on you, see if you were doing okay."

"Well, I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me. I'm not your girlfriend." The words were a little harsher than she'd intended. She wants to just go die in a hole now. But instead, she turns around - trying to find some escape from the situation. His fucking eyes are staring into her soul, she's never been very good at holding herself back. But she has to, she can't be falling for him - not now. 

"Taylor, please! Just talk to me, I'm worried about you. The way you're acting - it just doesn't feel like you." He pleads with her, she spins around - her last straw having snapped. 

"Don't you get it?! I'm falling in love with you! I'm falling in love with you and there's nothing I can do about it. But I can't. I can't love you because it'll be the worst thing possible for you." Tears are dripping down her cheeks, she's pouring out her soul to him - the one person she probably shouldn't be saying any of this to. "As much as I want to just toss my life aside and be with you, love you? I just can't, because my life doesn't work that way. It's just as simple as my name being connected to yours in one article and your entire world will be ruined. I can't be selfish here, so you just need to leave. Don't let my fucking mess interfere with what you're just starting to build! Walk away from me, and don't look back." A silence follows her outburst, tears running down her face as they both just stand there, looking at one another. She almost can't stand the silence, can't stand the way he's looking at her. She feels exposed, in every single way. She should've just ghosted him and not answered her door this evening - anything would've been better than this. 

"Taylor..." He takes a step towards her, his eyes never leaving hers. "I'm crazy about you." He says softly. "I'm falling hard for you, every single day that we spend together I'm just completely enamoured. I smile like a fucking idiot every time your name pops up on my phone, I jump at any opportunity to spend time with you. I go to sleep at night, hoping you've had a good day but I know asking you would probably be weird. And when I'm with you? God, everything just makes sense. Everything just feels okay again, you make me feel as though I'm floating on cloud nine." His words are just making her cry harder. This can't happen. They shouldn't be feeling this way, she's going to ruin everything in his life. 

"None of that matters!" She forces the words out. "Just ignore all of that Joe, it'll go away. I'm no good for you, you deserve someone who can give you a normal life and who isn't going to fuck up your reputation." She tries to take a step back but he moves closer to her again. 

"I can't ignore it, because I do love you. You make my life so much better Taylor, you really do. I have no clue what I even did with myself before you, even though we haven't been official - everything I do, and everything I want to do involves you. I want to be a part of your life, and you a part of mine - honestly. I know you've been through so much the past few years, I understand it's probably completely ruined any sense of self worth you ever had. I fully get why you're feeling this way. But Taylor, take a chance on me. Please? I promise you, I will handle anything that gets thrown my way to be with you. I've never felt this way about anyone before, you make me feel all glowy and warm inside. My worst days have been made better when I see you smile. I know this is incredibly cheesy." He grabs her hands, gently squeezing them. "But I need you to know this, I need you to let me into your life because this feels like fate. It feels like you've been the thing that's been missing from my life." Once again, his words are just so beautiful. She can't understand how he's seemed to figure out exactly what to say. She doesn't even have the words to say back to him, she just winds her arms around his neck, holding him close. He doesn't say anything more, just holds her as close as she's holding him - giving her time. 

She's so overwhelmed with emotion, that combined with the way he's holding her - it feels as though her heart could explode from it all. She almost can't believe that he cares about her, and in such a pure way too. 

"I can't let you ruin your life for me Joe. I care about you too much to let that happen." She whispers, tightening her grip around him. 

"You'll ruin my life if you force me to walk away from you now. You mean a lot to me, I have a feeling that being together will be the best thing for the both of us. You deserve happiness too Taylor, you deserve to let your heart speak for itself - so if you really do love me, then please let yourself." She's scared, terrified at the prospect of all this. But a huge part of her wants to jump in with him. She wants to let herself love, and be loved. For so long she's believed that love just isn't possible for her, not with the way her life is. But maybe...just maybe this is worth a shot. She can already feel how different Joe is that anyone else she's ever been with, he's so much more understanding and kind and thoughtful. If there's anyone she can do this with, it's Joe. That much she knows. 

"You really want this? Even with everything you know about me and my life?" She asks softly, tears still in her eyes. 

"I really do. Honestly." He pulls back a little, his eyes meeting hers. She can't help but press her lips to his, tears streaming down her cheeks as she does. It feels so right, everything about this. 

"I love you." She murmurs, biting her lip after pulling away from him. 

"I love you too. I really can't wait to see where life will lead us." His hands cup her cheeks.

"Thank you." She whispers, her tears finally coming to a halt. 

"For what?" He asks, gently caressing her cheek with his thumb. 

"For everything you've said tonight. It really means a lot." She can't help but feel so loved in this moment, so giddy. 

"I meant every word. Don't ever forget them." He says sincerely, gently pulling her close again. 

"I won't." She buries her face in his neck, happy that this is where they've ended up tonight. She's still scared of all this, but she's excited too. She's excited to do this with him, with someone she's grown to really care about. Their friendship has meant everything to her over the past few months, and she's honestly glad that it doesn't have to end. Maybe this will be the beginning of something wonderful for the both of them, she's looking forward to finding out.