Jaylor One Shots

The Trial

Taylor feels completely and entirely heavy as she stands in the hotel elevator. Well, she's not exactly standing, rather forcing herself upright. She honestly feels as though she might collapse at any moment, but she knows things would be worse if she did. Imagine the headlines. The only thing keeping her going is how close she is to finally getting back to her room, where she'll be safe and loves. The past week has felt completely awful and she's drained. Almost as if all the happiness has been sucked right out of her. Taylor feels her eyes sting with tears, her throat tightening as she struggles to hold them back. She feels stupid for feeling like this, surely she should be happy right now? Shouldn't she should be feeling some sense of victory, or even relief? After all, she had won the battle that she'd been stuck fighting for five years. But no, instead Taylor is left feeling demoralised, dehumanised and honestly, empty. She'd give anything to just crawl into a hole and stay there for a while, anything to escape the way she's feeling right now. The elevator doors open and her body feels as though it's stuck on autopilot, slowly moving her in the direction of her room. There aren't any words she can find to explain the way she's feeling right now, all she knows is that it's incredibly lonely. As Taylor reaches her door, she sucks in a deep breath, trying to collect her pieces. Part of her wants to run and hide, but the other part wants to fall apart in his arms. She isn't sure which will take over. 

Taylor taps her card, warm air hit her instantly as the door opens. The door clicks shut behind her as she dumps her bag on the ground, kicking off her uncomfortable shoes. Taylor sighs, unable to move for a moment, her mind has completely spaced out and really she just feels like sliding down the door and sobbing. At this point she's too drained to even do that. After a moment, she slowly takes steps to find the love of her life. She feels her shoulders slouch with every step she takes. She sees him standing just behind the couch, their eyes meeting across the room. Taylor figures he was waiting for her to come to him, not wanting to push her too far. Just seeing him is enough for the tears that she's been trying to hold begin making their way down her face. 

Taylor stands there, sobbing, unable to move any further, feels as though she may fall. But she doesn't have to, because suddenly she's encompassed by Joe and is able to bury herself in his chest, grasping onto his warmth. She hadn't realised how much she needed this. Joe rubs her back and holds her fiercely, keeping her upright. She can feel him pressing gentle kisses to her forehead. He isn't prying, he's just simply there for her. And wow is she grateful for that. Taylor's body shakes with sobs, finally feeling safe enough to let go of her emotions. She's so grateful Joe is here, has no idea what she'd have done without him. Everything that has happened over the past few days have been incredibly tough. She'd had her mom for a while, but the whole process had been so gruelling that her mom needed to fly home, having become physically ill from all of this. Taylor had been trying to be strong for everyone, promising she was okay. But Joe had somehow seen through those lies, had allowed her to be vulnerable. He never asks any questions, knowing this situation is a difficult one. But he always listened whenever she needed to talk, to get something off her chest. He'd worked tirelessly to keep her mind off the trial once she came home in the evenings and she'll never forget how incredible he's been. Joe holds onto her, even as her tears subside. She knows he won't let go until she assures him that she's okay. His arms genuinely make her feel like no one could ever hurt her again, she never wants to leave, always wants to be with him like this. They stand there for a while before Joe breaks the silence,  

"Are you hungry?" His voice is soft, disarming almost but Taylor just shakes her head against his chest, she knows she should eat, but even that feels like too much effort right now. "How long has it been since you've eaten?" There's absolutely no judgement in his voice, and for that she's thankful. She'd forced herself to eat a snack partway through the day, but other than that she'd not been physically able to eat since breakfast. Even then, it hadn't been much. Joe must've taken her silence as her answer because she feels him pick her up carefully, placing her back down on the couch. Taylor curls up against him on the couch, watching as he orders something for the two of them. She still hasn't verbalised anything to him, she wants to talk, but can't seem to find the words. She knows he must be wanting to know the outcome, but he respectfully hasn't asked. She wouldn't mind him asking - she'd share anything with him - but she knows that he's letting her have her space while assuring her that he's there whenever she needs him. Taylor keeps her head resting on his chest, listening to the rhythmic beat of his heart and allowing it wash some peace over her. The feeling of being drained hasn't left her, but her mind is beginning to slow down in his arms, the panic is subsiding. It takes her almost 10 minutes, but she finally says something

"I won." Taylor sighs, hoping that maybe saying it out loud will make her feel better, maybe even make it sound real. But it doesn't. She just feels herself getting upset again, thinking about everything she had to go through for all of this. It isn't fair, not on her, not on her team or her family. The fact that this happens to women so regularly makes her angry. No one should have to go through with this, and yet she's 'one of the lucky ones'. Joe's hand gently rubs her back in an effort to offer some comfort. She clings on to him tighter, holding on as though her life depends on it. "I'm sorry you have to deal with me." she mumbles, hates feeling vulnerable. She feels Joe's lips place a soft kiss on the crown of her head.

"Oh love, you shouldn't be apologising. There's no reason for you to be saying sorry. You have got to be the strongest, bravest person I know, this past week shines a light on that. I'm so so proud of you Taylor." His arms squeeze her gently, "I can't ever even imagine going through what you've been through and still be one of the kindest people in the world." Tears begin slipping down her face again at his words and she sniffles slightly. Silence falls over them again, their bodies firmly intertwined, Taylor has no idea how much time passes but soon enough they hear a knock on the door, food has arrived. Joe makes a move to go get it but Taylor clings to him, unwilling to let him go. She genuinely has no idea why she's being like this tonight. 

"Taylor, love, we need to eat. I promise I'll be right back." Joe untangles himself from her, gently kissing her forehead before retrieving their dinner. Once he returns, Taylor forces herself to sit up. "Why don't you go get changed into something more comfortable while I set this up?" Joe suggests softly while setting the table. Taylor nods slightly, pushing herself off the couch and slowly walking into the adjoining bedroom. She peels off her courtroom clothes, wanting nothing more than to burn them, and the memories that come attached. Quickly, she throws on her pyjamas before finding herself sitting on the bed, staring at the wall. She doesn't want to focus on anything else, just stares ahead blankly. She's trying to be happy, wants so badly to be happy, but this past week has completely ruined her. If there's one thing she can be sure of, it's that Joe doesn't expect anything from her, and she's grateful for that, but Taylor wants to be able to just focus on her boyfriend, to just move past this and enjoy the life they've begun creating. She's so tired of being dragged down by all this, everything is just piling up. She hears Joe call out to her which forces her to pull her shit together enough to make her way out to him. Taylor has no appetite, the stress has ruined it and it's been gone all week, but nonetheless she sits down forces herself to at least pick on dinner. 

Once she can't force anything else down, Joe clears everything away before leading her back to the couch. She still hasn't said very much since she arrived home but every moment she spends in Joe's arms is relaxing her even further. Eventually, Taylor feels herself beginning to fall asleep wrapped up in his warmth. 

"Come on, let's get you to bed." Joe murmurs softly, before she feels him pick her up, her arms wind around his neck as he carries her to bed. His body curls up next to him and she immediately shuffles closer to him, basking in his warmth and comfort. Taylor is so grateful to have Joe by her side right now, not knowing what she would do without him. She rests her head back on his chest and lets herself relax, at least now she can go to sleep knowing that it's over, she doesn't have to go back. Maybe she'll feel ready to explain some of it to him tomorrow. Maybe not. But she knows that she's safe, here with him. If she needs to talk, he'll listen. If she never talks, she knows he wouldn't mind that either. He's so different to anyone she's ever been with before, he just loves her purely, with no other agenda. 

"I love you. Thank you for taking care of me." Taylor says softly into the dark room. She feels Joe kiss the top of her head. 

"I love you too, more than you'll ever know. You can start to heal now." Taylor smiles, reaches up to kiss him gently. As she snuggles against him, she beings to feel her eyes droop again. Her last coherent thought is how thankful she is for the love they share, how she's so confident in knowing that he'll keep her safe, and possibly even love her forever.