Jaylor One Shots

I Didn't Know If I Would Get To This Anymore.

Today is one of those days where Taylor's anxiety is completely on edge, she'd spent a little too long looking at her instagram comments this morning and now she's just filled with anxieties about her standing in the world. Questions like, 'will I ever be able to do what I love most in the world again?' and 'do I even have a job anymore?'. Taylor knows she needs to stop looking at those comments but a part of her just can't, she's desperate to know what's being said about her and is forever hopeful that this level of hate will stop. She tries to pull herself together though because Joe's coming over any minute now. They're still in the beginning of their relationship and she really doesn't want him to see how messed up she is because of everything that's going on.

Soon enough, Taylor hears a knock on the door and she takes a few deep breaths before plastering a smile on her face and opening her door. Joe wonders into her apartment, giving her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Hi love, how's your day going?" He asks, Taylor closes the door behind him and swallows down her anxieties.

"Good! Haven't done too much. You?" Joe turns around to face her, as huge grin on his face as he rests his hands on her waist.

"Been waiting to see you." Taylor feels her heart warm at his words and a genuine smile forms on her face. That's the thing about him, he always makes her feel safe. No matter how bad her day has been, he always manages to put a smile on her face. Taylor leans up, kissing him softly and winding her arms around his neck. They both pull back, slightly out of breath and Taylor can feel her anxiety seeping back into her mind. She lowers her head for a moment and feels Joe tighten his grip on her.

"Babe? Are you okay?" She hears Joe ask softly, she brings her head up to face him and offers a small smile.

"Yeah, of course. Um, do you want to watch a movie or something?" She asks, desperately trying to change the subject.

"Not really, I want you to tell me what's going on. Taylor, I'm not going to judge you. I want to help." Taylor bites her lip, averting her eyes from his gorgeous blue ones. 

"I'm okay." She says in a last-ditch attempt to get him to not ask more questions but she feels tears springing into her eyes and she knows when he pulls her firmly to his chest that he isn't going to let this slide. Taylor allows herself to take comfort in his arms and she feels herself beginning to break down. The anxiety she'd spent her day shoving down was now forcing itself out and she can't stop it. She feels Joe rubbing her back as she buries her face in his chest, unable to tears carving paths down her cheeks. She's completely silent but her body won't stop shaking and the tears won't stop coming. Taylor clings to his shirt, terrified he's going to leave after seeing her like this. Who one earth would want to deal with this? 

After a few minutes, she calms down a bit but she can't bring herself to let go of Joe. Much to her surprise, he's still holding her just as tightly as he was before, he isn't walking away or making excuses to leave. 

"Talk to me..." Joe murmurs into her ear before pressing a kiss to her head. Taylor is quiet for a moment, trying to sort through the mess in her brain.

"I can't do this anymore." She whispers, tears filling her eyes again. She feels Joe's arms tighten around her and his head rests on hers.

"Can't do what?" He asks softly, he's being so patient with her which she's really grateful for. 

"I just...the whole world hates me. I can't...they want me to disappear, they want me to die. What if I never get to make music again? What if I can never go perform again? I can't do this anymore." Her voice breaks, tears are streaming down her face again. The only thing giving her comfort right now is Joe's warm body, his strong arms wrapped around her and the gentle way he's rubbing her back. 

"Taylor..." She can hear the empathy in his voice and she squeezes her eyes shut. 

"Love, you know none of what they're saying is true. I know I don't know the half of it but I promise you it's all lies. They're people on the internet who have nothing better to do with their days, they're probably bitter and just want to spread hate. No one want you to die, please don't ever think that you should die." Taylor hears the urgency in his voice,

"You don't understand, this is my life! I'm used to hate, it sucks but I've dealt with it for years...since the beginning of my career. But this is different, this is the worst it's ever been and I just feel worse than I've ever felt in my life...I can't do this." Her body crumples in defeat and she isn't sure she would still be standing if Joe wasn't holding her up. 

"I know. I have no idea what you're going through, or the way you're feeling. But I want to help, let me help you feel better, please?" Taylor looks up at him, almost desperately 

"Please just make it stop, make it all go away." She sobs, nothing is making sense in her mind right now, she's desperate to not feel this way but it just won't stop. She feels herself being picked up before being sat back down in Joe's lap on the couch. She sobs into his shoulder and feels him running his fingers through her hair and firmly rubbing circles into her back in an effort to calm her down. It begins to work, Taylor feels her mind slowing down and she stills in Joe's arms. 

"Fuck I wish I could take away your pain Taylor, I wish I could block out all the noise and remove everyone who's making you feel this way from social media." He presses a kiss to the top of her head before continuing 

"But I just want you to know that I need you, I couldn't live without you. You have so many people who care about you, myself included." A silence falls over the both of them, Taylor's struggling to come up with something to say and she's assuming Joe's giving her time to calm down. She can't quite understand how she got so lucky to have him in her life. He's so good and pure, the last think she ever wants to do is ruin his life but she just can't walk away. It's moments like this where she realises just how much he cares about her, and how much she cares about him. 

"Thank you" She murmurs into his neck, before lifting her head up to look at him. 

"I honestly don't know what I'd do without you." She says softly, looking him in the eyes, trying her best to convey her affection. 

"You're so so strong Taylor, I have no idea what I'd do if I were in your position. I know how hard this is for you, but you're still standing and I will keep helping you fight, I'll help you with anything you need. I hope you know that." Her eyes fill with tears again, but this time they're happy ones. She places her hands on his face, bringing her lips to his and gently kissing him. Every day she spends with this man she falls for him even faster. 

"How did I get so lucky? I'm so glad you're here." She murmurs, Joe smiles softly and presses a kiss to her forehead.

"I could ask the same question love. I wouldn't be anywhere else, I'm so glad we decided to give this relationship a shot. I honestly think it's the best thing that's ever happened to me." His words just absolutely melt Taylor's heart, making her grin.

"Me too." She says before cuddling back up against him. Joe holds her close, running his fingers through her hair and pressing kisses into her hair every now and again. For the rest of the night, Joe doesn't leave her side and keeps her wrapped up in his arms, he takes the time to ensure she knows how important she is to him and it brings happy butterflies to Taylor's stomach. He honestly makes her feel so loved and special. She can genuinely picture spending the rest of her life with him and she's hoping he can too.