Refraction.

I Am Things He Could Never Be.

Noxious fumes seep through his skin,
The daggers in his eyes
Have blades that never dull,
Still sharp
Beneath the bloodied crust
That coats them.
It is not all mine, and yet I feel anger
On behalf of those who don't know
What he's taken,
And I feel so adamant that I must stand and fight
For the sake of those he silenced.
On the television, in books and films,
Good always triumphs in the end,
But I know that is not reality.
To stay alive, I must run and hide,
That urge to fight restrained.
Omnipresent threat -
Perhaps he has silenced me too.
I live under duress,
And yet
I know that I am things he could never be:
I am peaceful, I am kind,
I am gentle, I hold so much love
For every living thing.
There is so much beauty within this world,
And, when I pray at night,
My prayers seek favour for every soul.
The urge to fight has turned into a desire to love -
I needn't fight in order to be strong,
And I needn't be strong to deserve love in return.
Thoughts of unfairness and rebellion still linger,
But I've had to teach myself what love is.
Love isn't what he shows me,
Manipulation and control
Under the guise of care.
Love is seeing the goodness, and nurturing it
Until it blooms;
Love is wanting to protect, to help, to hold you
In my arms, to let your tears fall onto my shoulder
And guide you
To tomorrow through the darkness.
I am the lighthouse, a gardener, a confidant
And a shoulder;
He is the jagged rock, the knotweed, the snake
And a liar.
I could have been him, but I chose to be me.
I am things he could never be.