Refraction.

Jack IV

Memories lost, I try to forget about
The promises that you
Have no recollection of making;
The odd, tender word
You spared me;
Those moments at the core
Of our connection.
There's nothing I can say -
Neither of us are to blame,
But still I cry -
Each time we grow closer
Feels as though
We each take a step forward,
Only for you to
Step backward again -
I move closer to you,
And you don't move at all.
Perhaps that's why I'm the only one
Hurting,
Dwelling on conversations
That you've already forgotten,
Trying to explain
That I care for you, only to be met
With the same coldness and disbelief;
The same old surprise, the same
Vague remark,
That same sort of rejection -
Not explicit,
But nothing could be clearer
Than the fact you don't know enough
About me to claim that you care,
To want to give me
The things I give to you.
Each time, the guilt I feel for being angry
Melts into sadness,
But what good is it to let you see?
It's not your fault,
It changes nothing,
And I fear it would simply
Drive you away
Once again - you always run away
When I cry,
But I don't want you to go.
Forget me if you must,
So long as you stay a little longer.
I'll listen to it all once again -
The drunken stories,
The midnight confession that
Still makes my heart skip a beat every time.
I'll be here again, to hold you again,
To smile as you kiss my forehead,
As though it's the first time;
To laugh at the comment you make
Each time I tickle you,
As though you haven't said it before -
It's charming each time,
And I wonder if you'll eventually
Remember
The time we spend together,
The feelings you tell me about;
The feelings you forget the next day.
I wonder if you'll eventually
Remember much more
Than just my face and my name,
But I'm not sure
That my role would change -
Forget me if you must,
Just stay.