Jewels of Busan: the Jeon brothers.

Chapter 43: Yoongguk.

Usually, when someone hears the sound of a baby's beating heart, that someone was over the moon. But not him. Don't get him wrong he was delighted that he was having a small little soul growing inside him, however it wasn't the right time. Where should he go from there? How should he mover further with his life if he had nothing?

He was in a bus station sitting on a bench, one hand on his small, small baby bump, while the other one clutching the sonogram, eyes glued to the paper as tears were running down his cheeks. Thankfully, the weather outside was bad, it was raining, those tiny droplets of water that was soaking him from head to toes, were also washing his tears away.

He had always dreamed of having this little perfect picture family. With a husband that will take care of him, sooth him when he was in pain. With a little toddler that would run and clutch his appa's feet with its little hands, begging to be hugged. His home would have been filled with laughter, love and above all, happiness. Yet, his dream was gone. Gone with the wind in a poof of smoke.

His new life will be in a tiny crappy apartment with one bedroom. The painting on the walls chipped off because he would have no money to make it livable. Holding his baby in his arms as the little toddler would cry his eyes out due to hunger, while his neighbor above would hit the wall as a warning to keep it quiet. His body, full once, would be a mass of bones and skin. Getting thinner everyday as he fought and worked for every scrape of food he could get. That would be his life.

His parents were right, he wasn't worth the air he was breathing. He was useless really. Who would love someone so broken as he was? Who would look past his imperfections, past his weaknesses, to see the true beauty of his heart? Right then, he had three choices to make and neither of them were too appealing. He could feel his heart breaking in a million pieces as he pressed his hand to his chest to try to calm himself, if not for him, at least for the little speck of light in his belly. His breath was shallow as he thought about the choices that he should make.

First choice would be trying to raise the child alone. Which might be easier said than done. With no one to help him, how could he make sure the child will have a decent life? How could he go to work while the child was alone at home, or with someone he didn't know? It made him feel weak, useless. A failure to both his child and society.

The second option was to have an abortion. Thought that gave him physical pain. That little beam of hope was made with love. He loved Jeongguk with all his heart, even if the latter might see him as just a warm body to hold at night. No. This wasn't an option. Terminate the pregnancy meant terminating something that was a part of both of them. His lover's touches, kisses, beating hearts and feeling of deep, deep love.

The third option, if Jeongguk was willing to accept, was to put up with him until the baby would be born, then Yoongi would walk away even if it will kill him in the process. At least that way, the child will have everything. A warm home, a wonderful father, a secured future. Yoongi could not provide the baby with those things, even if he worked day and night. Taking care of a child was not easy, he was more than aware. They needed constant care, food, clothes, an education. He couldn't provide either of them.

The third option, was the most suitable one. The one where he could easily wither away knowing that his baby will be safe, protected and loved. If Jeongguk wouldn't want the baby, than he was screwed. Literally screwed. But he will find a way to survive. He always did. For his baby he will fight tooth and nail. For his baby, he would give up his own life.