Jewels of Busan: the Jeon brothers.

Chapter 66: Jihope.

Hoseok was in front of his family home. It was too much saying home, especially since there were no fond memories. There wasn't a single thing he wished to remember, only to forget. To forget the beatings, the name calling, everything that happened between those walls. So no, he couldn't call it a family home. Just a building he grew up on, devoid of affection, care, a smile, or even small things as toys.

During the funeral festivities, his friends, their parents, they all gathered around him to show their support. Even Taehyung showed up to pay his respects regardless of what transpired between them, although he didn't stay long. Unfortunately, no one else from his parents side showed up. There wasn't one friend of theirs that came up to bring a flower or to say their last good bye. He couldn't stop wondering how sad their life must have been. Loosing themselves in alcohol and drugs.

He understood their pain to some extent, but not all of it. He too lost himself in sex, the need to control at least one aspect of his life in order to cope with his feelings of loss. Fortunately, he found someone who didn't allow him to get lost in self pity and abusive thoughts.

If it weren't for Jimin, he would have probably killed himself by now, but he wouldn't have lived his life depending on drugs to get away from the harsh reality that plagued his mind. He was still learning to live with that. The future could only be beautiful and sparkling with happiness at the thought of having their small family.

He couldn't wait to properly marry Jimin and for their baby to get born, to hold his child in his arms. To count their little fingers, kiss their temples and listen to baby gibberish. That's what he was looking forward. He suddenly pulled Jimin into a tight embrace and hid his nose onto the crook of his neck, inhaling his smell as much as he could. Jimin responded to his embrace by drawing circles on his back, saying nothing. There were no words that he could say to make his fiancé feel better. He could only assure him that he was there to stay.

After a few moments of silence, when Hoseok felt that he had fully recharged his mind, he pulled out. "Let's go inside. Please don't touch anything and be careful where you step. I don't know what we'll find inside. I hope there aren't any needles laying around." Hoseok warned him.

Jimin nodded and smiled. "It's ok. Baby, are you sure you're good to enter?"

"Not really." Hoseok sighed. "I have to do this now and get over it. It's not like they were the best parents in the world."

"They were still your parents. It's ok to miss them, to love them in spite of what they did to you. You were their child. They were your family." Jimin wanted to add more, but stopped himself from saying that it was not ok to push his feelings deep inside and avoid thinking thinking about it. "You won't be able to fully move on until you face this head on, but don't hide what you really feel. Don't pretend everything is fine." He spoke softly, knowing how hard was for the other to face his fears, his past.

Hoseok wiped his tears, he fought them as much as he could, he tried to stay strong, but Jimin's words hit deep. They were true. It wasn't the first time Jimin saw through all his lies and fears. He was the only one who could read Hoseok's mind like a book. He tried not to think about losing what he knew as being a family. He tried to push away any traces of his real emotions, burying them deep inside his soul, lock them well and throw away the key. He tried to count each of his breath, inhaling and exhaling deep, in hopes that the panic attack that was looming over his head like a sword ready to attack any given second, would just go away.