Jewels of Busan: the Jeon brothers.

Chapter 55: Taekook.

I'm really sorry for this chapter, do NOT kill me. :D

Sometimes, things don't go our way. That's ok. We need to figure out what battles are worth fighting. What kind of people we let in our lives. Not everyone who says they'll change, will actually do it. Even if they regret what they did in one moment, doesn't mean they actually do it. Be aware of what's around you, not many things deserve forgiveness. If someone is treating you like you don't deserve, if they belittle you, gaslight you, hurt you, they don't deserve forgiveness, they don't deserve another chance, regardless who they are.  Sometimes, we just have to let somebody go. We all have our own street we need to walk on. And no matter what is thrown our way, we need to be strong, kind, but honest with ourselves, with what we deserve. Because, we do deserve the world. 

Like BTS says, "Love yourself".

***********************

Jungkook was standing at the window of his apartment, his hands in his pockets, looking at the people who were passing by on the street. Some of them smiling, some of them in a rush. Yet, for him, time had stilled. His family hated him for his choices, belittle him for his dreams. The one he loved, mocked him, humiliated him. His love was irremediably tarnished, turned to shreds. His entire existence was nothing more than a waste of time and space. A tiny speck of dust in the wind. A bother to the people around him.

So he put on a mask. At first he hid his weaknesses behind the wall of arrogance and self confidence. Now, that mask had cracked. It showed his insecurities. His fear of abandonment. His fear of being cast away like some piece of yesterday's trash. He went after his dreams, fought to be loved. What good did it do? He had nothing left. He, was nothing. Maybe if he would give people what they wanted, maybe they would be happier. Maybe if he would change himself through whatever mold that was given, he would fit in a world that pointed their fingers towards him and deemed him useless. Maybe if he would cut out his edges, made them smoother, maybe he would be accepted.

His parents wanted him to be straight, then he will be straight. He will force himself to date a woman. His parents wanted to control him, so he will go back to their house and let them control him. The love of his life didn't want to see his face again and he will make it happen. He will stay away from Taehyung. He will delete his channel, stop playing the games he loved so much. Stop being himself. He will let the world do to him whatever they wanted. He was already broken. He was already lost and unloved. What harm could the world do to him, more than it was already done? What harm could they do to him, if he just remained silent and take it all like it's nothing? So, he went to his brother's office, asking for work.

Jeongguk stared at his twin brother in disbelief. He had dark circles under his eyes, he dressed differently and seemed as if he had lost weight. They haven't talked in almost a week, and he sensed that something was terribly wrong. The light in Jungkook's eyes was gone.

"Are you sure?" Jeongguk tilted his head, waiting to hear a different answer. He knew how much his brother fought to be able to do what he loved and now he was ready to throw it out the window, just like that. "You were always adamant in staying away from the office, what changed?"

Jungkook shrugged. "I guess it's time I matured." Though he smiled, his smile didn't reach his eyes. They was as empty as his life.

"Okay." Jeongguk sighed. "I'll find something for you to do. Are you absolutely sure about this?"