The Princess & The Queen

Chapter 26

Charlie's P.O.V.

"So my queen, what would you like to do?" Oli asks me. There are a million things that I can no longer do since I don't have sight. I can't watch shows or movies. I can't read. The only thing I can do is talk and listen to music. I know I have a conversation that I need to have with Oli, but, now I realize that I won't be able to see his expressions as I tell him what I need to, and that's important to me. I don't even know if I'll be able to see through his mind when we mate, or if it's a thing with just my sister. Not that I'd be able to see his emotions through his mind unless he was looking in a mirror, and I feel like that's weird to ask, like hey mate do you mind staring at a mirror while I talk to you so I can see what you're thinking? Like who does that. "Charlie?" Oh crap, how long have I been sitting here pondering all of these things in my head? He probably thinks I'm crazy, sitting here, not saying anything. Ugh, what do I say? "yea?" That's what you come up with brain? That's it, a simple yea? "Are you okay?" he replies. Well isn't that a loaded questions, see every reason why listed above. Fuck! Come on Charlie, this is Oli, this is the man the Moon Goddess decided could put up with your cynical life is always grey ass. Suck it up and talk to him. "Yea." Seriously? Yea again? Did the doctor take out my ability to form sentences when he separated me from Ava? Goddess! "What are you thinking about so hard? You seem stressed." I feel his hand gently rest on my arm as he asks this question. "I, I um," Goddess, now I'm a fumbling idiot, why can't I form a complete thought? "Why are you crying Charlie?" sadness is laced in his words, and I feel him wipe a tear I never felt fall down my face.

Why am I crying? I don't cry. I haven't cried since I discovered I was blind. "I, I don't know. I haven't cried since I was four." "Really? You haven't cried in almost fourteen years? Why sweetheart?" he proceeds to gently pull me into his lap, and hold me. My head lays on his chest while he gently rubs my back. "I felt sadness was a waist of time. I only had so many years to live, why waste them being sad? I guess over time I started to feel that way with all emotion. I guess I've been numb for so long, only feeling anger on occasion, that I can't comprehend my other emotions." I say, hoping that it is right and what I am actually thinking. "My poor, sweet, Charlie. I am so sorry that you felt that way growing up, I promise you can let your emotions out now. We have the rest of our lives together, and I will be here for you every step of the way." he places a kiss on the top of my head as he finishes his thought. Oh jeez, am I ready to have the conversation with him now that I am apparently an emotional mess? I think I have to right? "Oli?" "Yes my sweet mate?" "Remember before the surgery I said I had we had to have a conversation once we were in private?" "Yes, are you ready to have that conversation now?" All I can do is nod my head in response.