Journey of a Lifetime

First Touch

Being on a 36 hour flight can make you go insane. This is the second time I've been on a flight for a whole day or more. The first one was when I was 8 years old. I went from my home at heart, England, to what was a new home, but not at heart, Australia. Only this time, I'm heading somewhere really different to that. This time, I'm not trading the life I had in England for Australia, now I'm trading the life I've had in Australia for the past 12 years for a new beginning in Canada. I've already been on a plane for 24 hours and made my way to the next flight. We landed at Heathrow Airport in London. I'm very glad we landed in London as I got to have my little taste of England once again. I miss that feeling of really being home. Shame I have to leave. Well, I chose to leave. Think I'll grab something for the next bit of flying. Some good ol' English Cadbury's Milk Chocolate. I really miss this stuff. When I was younger, every birthday, Christmas and Easter that I was in Australia for, my Nan in the UK would send a huge box. That box would carry 2 massive blocks of English Cadbury's Milk Chocolate, along with some crisps my brother and I loved as kids, along with a card each and money. That box was the one reason that I loved those holidays.

It's November, I'm now on my second plane. Canada here I come. As I sat down in my chair, I straight away smelt something really bad. Must be the food. Now I'm really happy that I brought my own food... yummy, chocolate. I can smell the rubbish the crew is cooking and it's making me feel really sick inside. Maybe later I'll eat. I can make my stomach wait until the smell of what they call dinner goes away. If I eat this now, I know that the smell will make me sick it back up, it's just not worth it.

20 minutes into flying again, the flight attendant comes over and puts the tray in front of me. I feel my stomach turn. "No thanks, I'm not hungry." She takes it away from me. Thank god.

"I'll take one. I'm starving" the guy next to me says. The flight attendant hands him the tray. I begin to think, "how the fuck can you eat that shit?" He opens the lid on the tray. Inside it looks like dog sick on a plate and smells even worse. The day before I got on this flight, I made sure that I didn't eat much, that way there wouldn't be much in me to sick up. This smell was the reason for doing that. But I am hungry now. I take out my cassette player and start listening to some good music, try & keep my mind of the smell and my stomach.

I begin to stare out the window, complete darkness, but I still stare. It's moments like this that make me think deeply. I begin to ask myself the why, how, what & where questions.

Why now? Why leave? Why Canada? Why not England? Why not USA? How will you get along? How will you get the money to live? What will you do? What will you have as a job? What will it be like? What will happen if it doesn't go to plan? What if this was the wrong decision? What if nothing goes to plan? Where will you live? That's when the doubt flowed into my mind. That voice that I have tried to leave behind for all these years that always creeps back.

I tried to clear all those doubtful questions out of my head and focus on the positive side of all this. To begin a whole new life, to start over. New job, new country, new life. It then hit me. I'm the only one, I'm doing this on my own, I'm going in this alone, without my friends and family. I begin to think that I should have stayed at the changeover. Stay in England. Make a surprise visit to my cousin or something. At least there I wouldn't be the only one. I know no one in Canada, while in England I got my dad's side of the family, the whole lot of them. I haven't seen any of them in years.

Half an hour later of thinking, I smell something, actually I smell nothing. Thank god! I get my chocolate and sweets out of my bag in front of me and start eating. I'll get a proper meal after I sleep once I get to my hotel in Toronto, Canada. After 10 minutes of yummy goodness, the guy next to me starts talking to me.