Journey of a Lifetime

Tequila

The weeks at work start rolling into one, as I roll up a custom made cigarette of heroin and tobacco as I sit on my sofa, just to make the heroin easier to smoke. To ease the smell and to light it easier. I knew this old side of me would come back. It's part of the job, I tell myself. Dad always said I'd be an alcoholic, something I never took seriously until they put me in AA at the age of 15, which is under the legal drinking age. That's was around the time I ran and found out about cocaine and it's sweet benefits when mixed with drinking. Heroin was the drug to get then, and many people that were snorting cocaine for years were pairing it with the stuff. It was a killer of a combination, literally, when not done in the right quantities. It became my go to. Right for my addictive personality.

Sera and Kim are landing this weekend and I've let Mr Brooks that I've potentially found him a match. My apartment is starting to feel like my old place in Australia. Empty bottles and stubbed out cigarettes everywhere you turn. I haven't heard from Adam since I saw him that morning. It feels fine. Totally fine. That's what I tell myself as last nights pick up leaves out the front door, feeling unsatisfied. They never satisfy.

"Yeah" I say, answering the phone, my cigarette lit

"Rebecca is wondering if you are coming into the office today" Lisa whispers into the speaker

"Oh yeah, forgot about my job. I'll be there in 30" I reply, hanging up. Checking my scent, I nod and head out the door.

Saturday is here, I head to the airport to pick up my old roomies. The pay has allowed me to indulge myself with my dream cars, a Dodge Charger '69 and a Chevrolet Impala '67. This is a good thing, considering the Ute doesn't easily fit three people with a load of baggage.

"We're here" Sera screams, coming through the gate

I smile, drinking tequila from my flask. "Welcome to America, bitches"

"You stink of alcohol" Kim mumbles, forcing me in a hug, something she's done since we met

"When haven't I?" I grin back, "missed you guys"

"Can we go? I want to sleep" Sera complains, never been able to sleep on a travelling vehicle, including planes

They get settled in the apartment, something I tried to clean a bit before they arrived, removing some bottles and stubbed out cigarettes. Sera & Kim went to their rooms, not glancing around, sleeping for 12 hours due to the combination of jet lag and lack of sleep on the plane. The apartment is so quiet during this time, I can't take it. I head out into the town, feeling the need to explore and more alcohol.

Pat's Tavern is the place to be on the weekend, and any other day by the matter. It's completely family run, the current owner, Patrick Ramone, is the third generation owner of the place and knows everyone that comes in by name. If you are new in town, and head there, he will shake your hand, introducing himself with his charming smile, and before you know it, you almost want to tell him your life story. He simply has a way with people.

His son, Mark, is my regular bartender, and can tell my mood by the spirit I order. There's never a usual.

"What we feeling today?" Mark asks as I sit at the bar, the stool sinking for comfort

"Tequila"

He salts the glass, adding ice to the large glass then pours the tequila, not measuring. "Celebrating today?"

"Friends are here" I smile, drumming the wooden bar, sticky from the previous customer

"I don't see anyone"

"They're asleep"

"So starting the celebrations early?" he smiles at me, handing my the drink, adding it to my tab

"Always, you know that" I wink, having some of the drink, "oh that's good devil's liquor. Thank you love"

The band they have playing is very country today. It's good, but not great.

"I keep telling dad that we need something more upbeat on the weekends" Sandy, one of Patrick's daughters, mentions as she watches, empty food tray under her arm. "He won't listen"

"I don't mind it, I've heard worse" I shrug, lighting up my custom cigarette, leaning back on the bar

Sandy rolls her eyes at me and heads back to the kitchen.

She is right. Patrick hires the stuff he likes hearing and knows will get people in to eat, have a couple of drinks, then leave so there's room for another. He doesn't want to turn the Tavern that's been in his family into a concert venue, even if that is what his kids want. And there is market for it.

"Zoe? Zoe? Zoe?" Kim's voice booms through the apartment

"Have you checked her room?" Sera asks, yawning, her body trying to get used to the time difference

"No" Kim replies in a sarcastic tone

I stumble through the front door, it's 4am, shoes in hand, another regretful night ticked off. Spencer maybe? Or Jack? No, it was Tom. "Shh, you'll wake the neighbours" I smile, struggling to see straight. "What are you guys doing here?" I frown, leaning against the sofa, throwing my shoes into the kitchen

"So, nothing's changed" Sera laughs

"Oh my god, you guys are here" I remember suddenly, my eyes widening as I pull them in for a hug. I stink of booze, sweat and stale cigarettes. "Wait" I mumble, stumbling to the bathroom to throw up in the toilet.

"Nope, that's our Zoe" Kim agrees

They had stuck with me through every addiction, every stint in rehab, every high and low, every runaway and family breakdown. They've seen me sober and not-so sober. These girls are my family now. I'd be dead without them.

"What happened with you and Adam?" Kim asks as we all watch WWF on the lumpy sofa

"We decided it wouldn't work, he moved to one state, I moved here" I mumble, staring at my Chinese takeout

"I'm surprised you guys didn't try" Sera mentions, crunching into a prawn cracker

"Well, we didn't, and we are completely fine with it" I groan, trying not to get emotional as Adam and Jay cut a promo on the TV. "If we thought it would work, we would've tried"

"Sorry" they say in unison

"Anyway, you guys are here now, and it's no longer about my love life but yours. Just you wait, I'm going to make you to happiest brides ever" I smile