Journey of a Lifetime

EuroTrip

Oh, Monday, why did you have to be here? And this soon! I hate Mondays. I like every day but Monday. Monday is the first day of the week where you have to force yourself out of bed, and early. All to earn a couple of bucks or gain a bit of knowledge that'll you know the information you get you won't use ever again, all meaningless.

There are a few clients today, busier than it has been, which is always good for business. It's what they all say, the people that give a damn about this business, in their suits. Perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect make up on their face, perfect business bitches. It's all they are, perfect business bitches. They actually like doing this job. Zero true individuality, zero personality. These are things you notice when you hate what you're doing for a job, so you get high and/or drunk. That how I get through the day, nobody cares what I'm doing, just as long as I do my job at the end of the day. Just don't smoke or drink or make yourself a human pin-cushion or shove various drugs up your nostril in front of the clients... that is bad for business. We all have different ways of getting through a working day, a working week, but we get through it, right?

Work meeting once a week, wearing dark sunglasses on inside, provide update on clients. Did you find a match of so-and-so? Is so-and-so still with so-and-so? Who have you still to find a match for? Blah, blah, blah.

This week's meeting was different.

"Okay, there's a conference being held in the United Kingdom, and various other countries in Europe during the months of September to November, any of you up for it?" Rebecca announces to the team

"Yeah, I'll do it" I answer and put my hand up for the job

"Good, I thought you might, I'll give you the information booklet after the meeting in my office"

Then the meeting went on like it usually does.

"Why did you put your hand up for it?" Rebecca asks me as she searches for the information booklet in her pile of papers

"I know that those sorry sods wouldn't be up for something like this, I know I'm always wanting to do things like this. They all have family and friends to look after, they have to put food on the table for someone else, not just for themselves like me, I can do these things that mean being away for longer periods of time than just a week" I answer

"Found it" she says, not taking any notice to what I just said, and hands me the booklet.

I look through the booklet and see Germany is in the countries listed for the trip. I smile inside. Menu Brownstone & Oktoberfest!

"Why are you wearing those glasses?" she asks

"Because I can" I respond, reading a bit of the booklet and smoking my custom cigarette. Rebecca doesn't care, her window is always open as she smokes hers.

"Fair enough, still up for the trip?"

"More than ever" I answer with a toothy smile

A week goes so quickly when you're high, it all just rolls into one giant high by the time the working week is over. This is how I survived all the years without actually killing myself. High. Never want to come down, need to see Bob again. Nearly out of Brownstone and rolling paper. See if Joe is busking near the park, get more rum. Yes, get more rum. Ain't it fun when you know that you're gonna die young.

"Hello?" I answer my phone, unable to see who's calling in the early hours

"Oh, hey, it's me" Adam says on the other end, surprise hinted in his tone

"Oh, hey, Adam"

"Hey, how are you?"

"I'm..." I start before pausing to think. Spiraling. Filled with self-hate. Missing you. Wishing I never took this job. Wishing I was dead. On the edge of collapse. What is it when people say when they feel this way? "I'm fine" I finally answer, "how are you?"