Journey of a Lifetime

So Gullible

Hand aches today. Which of my drugs took pain away again?

All of them if we use them right

Not that kind of pain, dumbass, not again. Think it's pot that helps. Where are those cigarettes? Searching the bathroom cupboard, they weren't behind the loo. Do I need more? I'm sure I still had some.

"You okay?" Jay asks, walking into the bathroom.

I forgot to close the door, shit. "Yeah, fine, just looking for something"

"Will you be able to play tonight?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I can still grip and get my fingertips together. Just need to find some painkillers to numb it out a bit, you know" I ramble, taking my attention back to the cabinet. Where the fuck are my smokes? Oh, morphine, that'll do.

Jay snatches the small medicine bottle from me and reads the label. "Morphine, really? When did you get this?"

"I don't know when, but it's a heck of a painkiller"

"Also addictive" he claims, his eyebrows raised in a know-it-all fashion

"You want me to feel better, right?"

The muscle in jaw twitches, holding back.

"Right, Jay?" I stare at him

"Of course I do, I'm sure that there's something else you can have that isn't this"

I sigh deeply. "There is, but I'd need to go find a dealer for it" I reply, playing the drug card. I don't need to search hard, Bob and I are close now. He's just a message away if I need something.

"So you don't know when you got these?"

"They don't even have my name on them, they might not be mine. They could be Kim's, maybe even Sera's from when she lived here. Jay, I just want less pain in my hand so I can play a show with Joe tonight, because it does ache" I defend, "I can always go get some pot and hope that works. It's not made to pain, but it's one of the side effects to it"

"And this is made for pain. Fine, but only for today" he groans, defeated, handing me the bottle

"Yes sir" I mumble, "asshole"

I still want something extra

Shut up

Heading to Pats later that day, Jay goes inside first, leaving me at the car. A quick hit of coke up the nostril, things feel better, the pain dead from the morphine earlier. Now I just need a drink.

"Hey Jay, Zoe coming?" Joe greets

"Hey, she's just grabbing her stuff" Jay smiles, high-fiving Joe on the way in, "beer and a water?"

"Please" Joe laughs before heading outside to the cars

"Fuck, that feels good" I moan to myself, closing my cocaine ring and wiping my nose before opening the trunk

"I saw the change on the chalkboard" Joe points out, his head popping around the car trunk door

"Hey Joey. Well you said you couldn't do it, so we aren't here tomorrow"

"How'd Patrick take it?"

"Not sure, he wasn't here. Mark sorted it" I answered, lifting the guitar and amplifier out of the trunk

"What happened to your hand? Can you play?" Joe frowns, taking the amplifier from my hand

"It's just a cut, it's fine. I can play" I smile. The coke is just hitting now, my brain is buzzing. "Shall we go in, need a drink if we are going to do this"