Journey of a Lifetime

He Was Right

He was right. I do hate it here. I arrived late yesterday, and it's his birthday tomorrow. I made a drunk purchase, booking the plane tickets and hotel. Now I'm staking out his house in the rental car. He's home, so is Jay. Maybe I'll just go back to the hotel and stay there the next couple of days, not leave the room, until I need to go back to Nashville.

"Holy shit" I say with a jump at the knock on my passenger window

Chris's face peers in through the window and he let's himself in.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Chris"

"Zoe, what are you doing here? We didn't know you were going to be here"

"I'm not here. I don't know why I'm here" I answer in a whisper, not looking at him. My eyes are swollen and red, staring straight at Adam's house

"You just needed to see him"

"Maybe"

"Why don't you? He hasn't stopped thinking about you"

"We both need to move on"

"Then you can't be here"

"Don't tell him I was here"

"I can't keep that from him"

"You have to, I can't be the cause of more pain to him"

"Then why come here?"

I can't answer the question. I shouldn't have come here. He's trying to heal. I should be doing the same. My jaw is set and my head hurts. I've been spending a lot of time fighting with myself about this.

"We miss you, I hope you know that"

"I miss you guys too. You guys took this little runaway in and treated her like family. I can never thank you enough for that"

He rubs my knee affectionately and gets out the car. "If you needed a better view, you can always use my place"

"Thanks Chris"

He closes the door and heads to his home.

I wake up the next day in the sweaty motel room after a regretful night in the pub bathroom stalls.

Today is Adam's birthday. It's a day I hadn't spent with him, and had planned to should our paths have not taken this turn.

"This is Adam, leave a message" the voicemail message states

"Hey, it's me. Zoe. Just wanted to say Happy Birthday, I hope you have a great day. Right. Ok. Love you" I say, jumbling up my words, as I leave the message on his phone from the motel room phone. 

A few moments later, my cellphone rings.

"You called from a Florida number" Adam's voice comes though like a rocket as I pick up

"Why are you awake at 3 in the morning? And on your birthday!" I ask

"You called from a Florida number" he repeats

"I'm here looking for office space for the company" I lie. I can't tell him that I came here to see him for his birthday, that I miss him too much to not be here.

"So there's a possibility"

"A chance, yes. I was going to mention it when we had the all clear" I continue, that part being true

The gears tick in his head. "Where are you?"

"A cheap motel on the edge of town. I nearly came to see you yesterday" I confess

"Why didn't you?"

"It's very strange seeing your ex-husband go about his day from an airport rental car"