January came with work for us both, seeing each other once after New Year's during the month. With less people around, watching me, old habits came to the surface once more. I relied more on those cigarettes, and a late night alcohol binge. Sweet white powder crackled up my nostrils once more, the feeling of invincibility upon me again as I drink another bottle of rum. He didn't see me like that. He had said he'd love me anyway, but I can't bring out that side of me yet, not to him, not to anybody. I'm hiding it from Kim as well, clearing the table of any specks of powder after a binge. No one can know I have started again. I can't go back to rehab. I just need to keep this quiet.
"John has another girl on the side" Kim announces, walking in after a few weeks away at John's place, dropping her bag and storming to the kitchen for some hard liquor
"You cannot be serious" I say in disbelief, "he had wanted to make it work"
"He wants to make it work with Candice" she groans, the name filling her with disgust, as she knocks back a glass of tequila
"Candice? Really?"
"Yeah. He said it in bed"
"That manwhore"
"So I slashed his tyres and stormed out" she smiles, drinking the tequila straight from the bottle
"Good girl" I smile. But this Kim is bad. Kim does not drink like this. I drink like this. I need to grab that bottle from her.
"Don't need him"
"Exactly" I say, getting off the sofa and making my way to her slowly
"Don't need anybody"
"You don't need him, you are awesome by yourself" I reassure, looking at her as if she was a wild animal.
She stares at me as she drinks more tequila.
"Give me the bottle, Kim"
"No" she laughs
"Kim, give me the alcohol. You're going to make yourself sick"
"I won't, I'll just have some cocaine like you do"
Shit she knows. She always knows. "There's none here. Give me the bottle. We can go out. Get some food"
"Tequila is food"
I launch myself at her, at the bottle. She screams, yelling bloody murder. The bottle smashes against the kitchen bench. We stare at the shattered glass and clear liquid for a few moments, silence in the air.
"I thought he loved me" Kim mumbles, a couple of tears running down her face.
"He seemed great on paper. That's the issue sometimes" I comment
"Two timing asshole"
"Did you want me to kill him and Candice?"
"Yes please"
"Consider it done"
"Thank you"
"Now, let's watch Dirty Dancing and eat ice cream"
"Yes please. Do you have any pot?"
"I can source some"
"Please do, just for tonight, just for the movie" she asks, tucking herself into the corner of the sofa, wrapping a blanket around her
"Okay"
That's exactly what we did that late Sunday night in January. Watched Dirty Dancing, eating ice cream and doritos, smoking pot.
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Journey of a Lifetime
Fanfiction** A Little Bit Smutty ** You've been running away from your trauma all your life. The sex, the drugs - the addiction was all just a distraction. So what makes this runaway any different? Could it be the handsome man who strikes up a conversation wi...
