"You know, I'm starting to get why parents lie to their kids. You want them to believe that the worst thing out there is to mix pop rocks and coke. Protect them from the real evil. You want them to go to bed feeling safe. If that means lying to them, so be it."
- Dean Winchester
Song: Voices by Motionless in White
"Voices in my head again. Trapped in a war inside my own skin. They're pulling me under."
**************
<Dream>
Bucky could feel the electricity running through his body. The pain was intense. He couldn't bear it, but he had to be tough. He had to be strong, otherwise the torture would be worse.
After what felt like hours, Bucky was sent out on a mission. He had to kill a man that use to work for HYDRA, but had betrayed them. The man was older, and he had his wife and two kids at home.
Bucky had snuck into the home when the man and his family were busy playing a game together. Bucky raised his fist above the man's head, and slammed it down, successfully wounding the man.
The man cried out for Bucky to stop, but as the Winter Soldier, he didn't stop, he didn't even hesitate. He grabbed his gun and shot the wife in the chest two times. The kids stood up and ran, but the soldier grabbed one of his knives and tossed it towards the children. He hit one of the kids in the back of the neck, killing the child instantly.
The other child screamed and crumbled to the ground next to their sibling. The soldier stomped closer, grabbing the child by its hair, pulling it up to face the father.
<End of Dream>
Bucky shot up in a cold sweat, the nightmare, or rather memory, was eating him alive. The room was completely black, and when he looked at the wall clock, he could tell that it was two in the morning. He knew he wasn't getting anymore sleep, but he wasn't really surprised. He was constantly haunted by his dreams, which were more often than not—memories.
As he tried to even out his breathing, as sweat drenched his clothes, he swore he could see the ghosts of the people he had murdered. Even though he had been the Winter Soldier when he had murdered them, he still couldn't help the guilt he felt every time he had another memory.
Every time he woke up from a nightmare, he could feel himself drifting between guilt, sadness, and nothingness. He could feel the Winter Soldier trying to push through, but he wouldn't allow it to happen. He refused to let such a danger out, but he didn't always have the chance to fight it off. Someone or something could easily trigger the Winter Soldier, and he wouldn't be able to get out of the mind space for minutes, sometimes even hours.
Standing up from the bed, be pulled all off the bedding off and stuck it in the washer. He also stripped off his clothes and threw them in the washer as well. He didn't want to smell the sweat that was caused by the nightmare anymore than he had to. Once the washer was started, Bucky turned on the shower and stepped in once it was steaming hot. He washed away all the sweat, as well as trying to wash away all the memories of blood and death that he had to endure too often. He was tired of it all, and he just wanted to be the old Bucky.
Harlow had jumped awake when she had heard a scream, but when she checked on Jodie, nothing seemed to be wrong. When she heard it again, she put her ear to the wall of her room, and could tell that it was the man next door. She quickly went to the front door of her apartment and looked out, but when she didn't see anyone outside, her eyebrows furrowed once again.
Silently, she crept out of her apartment and jiggled the doorknob on his front door, but it was locked. She checked his window and it was locked as well. The balcony was too far away for someone to be able to climb it and get inside of his apartment, but she even checked with a flashlight to make sure the doors were closed to his balcony.
Once she knew nothing was in his apartment, she soon realized that the man was having a nightmare. She felt horrible, but there was nothing she could do about them. Instead, she went back into her apartment and locked the door, before checking on Jodie again to make sure the little girl was still asleep. As long as the man didn't wake Jodie, Harlow wouldn't complain, but if he did, she would have to say something.
Grabbing a small notepad by her bed, she quickly made a small note for herself. She was determined to help the man, and one way she was going to do so, was to hopefully help him get some sleep. So, she made a note to buy some melatonin, as well as whatever other sleep aid she could find for the man to try. If she was lucky, one would help, and she wouldn't be woken up by the man's screams of terror in the middle of the night.
Climbing back into her own bed, she wondered what the man could possibly be dreaming about. She didn't want to go over and ask questions of course, but she knew the dreams were of something horrible. She remembered how she use to have nightmares when she was a child, mostly because of her father allowing her to watch scary movies when she was too young, and she would wake up screaming late at might. Wade was always there to help her though, but he wasn't anymore. She would have to be there for Jodie, and she wished the man had someone there for him, but he didn't, and Harlow felt horrible...
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Apartment 102 (B. Barnes) (AU)
Fanfiction*The story has been edited and revised* Bucky Barnes had finally ran away from HYDRA, but he was in hiding. He was too worried, and a bit scared, to go to his childhood friend, Steve Rogers, so he tried to hide from the blonde as well. Bucky had jum...
