"I'm tired of being crushed under the weight of greedy men who believe in nothing."
- Jax Teller
Song: Creature by Jelly Roll
"I'm not afraid of the Boogieman, instead I look at him like he's a friend. There's not a monster out there in the world, that's scarier than the one that's within."
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Harlow made two cups of tea, hoping the tea would help calm Bucky down. She also knew it would soothe her throat, since it was a bit sore, she just didn't want Bucky to know that. If he knew, he'd definitely run out of the apartment, and she'd never see him again.
"In the dream, HYDRA made me hurt you and Jodie. They wiped me, and I-I-" He cut himself off, not able to finish his own sentence.
"Why would HYDRA do that?" She asked, remembering when she heard about HYDRA years ago from Wade.
Wade knew a little about a lot of things, and he made sure Harlow knew exactly what he knew. Sometimes he'd even write the information down to keep her from not knowing what he wanted her to know.
"HYDRA made me into a weapon," He murmured,"Earlier, when I said I'd tell you about my past, were you serious that you wanted to listen?" He asked, and she nodded.
"I'll listen to everything you have to say, Bucky," She replied, causing him to nod stiffly.
"I don't know much, since they kept wiping my memory, but I remember some stuff. That's one of the reasons I won't see Steve, I don't want him to be disappointed that I'm not the same guy I was in the forties," He commented, making her frown.
"You're still a good guy, Bucky, you're just a little broken and misunderstood," She replied, and he merely nodded once again.
"I fell from a train in the forties, that's how I got this," He started, showing her his other arm,"HYDRA gave it to me. They then used me as a weapon, turning me into a super soldier assassin. I was the Winter Soldier. I had to do what they said, and I didn't have a choice. They have these—words, that can control me, and they used them to make me listen and do what they wanted. If I started acting up, they'd wipe me, and they'd put me in cryofreeze when they didn't need me. I remember some of the people I hurt—killed when I was with them. Every dream I have seems to be a nightmare, but some of them are memories from the people I hurt. Steve was my last mission, and I was supposed to kill him. I couldn't, and eventually I got away. I've been on the run ever since, trying to stay away from HYDRA. Once I know they've caught my scent somewhere, I run somewhere else. I can't stay in one place long, but here...I can't seem to leave it. I can't leave you two," He said, causing Harlow to smile sadly.
"I'll help keep you hidden, Bucky, I promise. You're not alone in this anymore," Harlow replied, causing Bucky to sigh.
"You shouldn't have to though, Harlow. I'm putting you both in danger. Some of these nightmares can fully trigger the Soldier, and I can't chance hurting you two because of him," He said,"Besides, I don't want you and Jodie to uproot your lives for me," He added, making her frown.
"We'll help you, Bucky. You're important to us. Besides, I have plenty of money, and Jodie and I have always wanted to travel the world. Who knows, you might see Steve once again," She commented, causing him to slightly nod.
"I wish I could," He murmured, making her smile sadly.
"The memories of the people, you don't let them haunt you, do you?" She asked, causing him to sigh.
"I have a journal with all of their names. One day I wish to try and make amends with each and every person, even though it'll only be through their family members. I can't help but let it consume me just a little," He said, making her frown.
"You shouldn't let it consume you, Bucky. You're a great man. Your past is the past, and there's nothing you can do about it. It was never your fault. They made you this way. They should be the ones suffering through this guilt, not you," She stated, and he somewhat smiled.
Instead of saying anything else, Harlow stood up and walked over to Bucky. She wrapped her arms around him and let him bury his head in her chest. She could feel his shaky breaths, as he held her tightly within his arms. He was terrified to let her go; afraid that she would disappear if he did. She was his everything, as was Jodie, and he couldn't let his girls out of his sight. He still hadn't called them that to their faces, but he had a feeling they knew that they meant a lot to him.
After hearing Harlow say she'd uproot their lives for him, he couldn't help but feel a bit more attached to them. They were so special, and they were willing to do anything to be with him and protect him. He was supposed to be the one to do that for them, but it seemed it was the other way around this time.
Harlow kissed the top of Bucky's head, knowing he needed as much comfort as she could give him. She cared deeply about him, as did Jodie, and she wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to let him go. If he ever disappeared, she knew that she and Jodie would be distraught. He had become a prominent figure in their lives, and they wouldn't know what to do without him. Harlow couldn't let him leave, so she had to do the next best thing. She had to promise him to be there for him, and to leave everything behind when the moment came that he couldn't stay in that town anymore...
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Apartment 102 (B. Barnes) (AU)
Fanfiction*The story has been edited and revised* Bucky Barnes had finally ran away from HYDRA, but he was in hiding. He was too worried, and a bit scared, to go to his childhood friend, Steve Rogers, so he tried to hide from the blonde as well. Bucky had jum...
