"Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can see where it keeps its brain."
- Arthur Weasley
Song: New Divide by Linkin Park
"So give me reason to prove me wrong to wash this memory clean."
*****************
Harlow had been released from the hospital around noon the next day, and Bucky was happy about it. He was use to being awake for days, but taking care of a small child did make him a little more tired than normal. If Harlow had to stay any longer, Bucky would've had to fall asleep during one of the nights he was there, and he would've had to chance having a nightmare while sleeping. He knew it would completely freak out Jodie if he did, and he would also be chancing the Winter Soldier making an appearance because of his nightmares, which would've been the worse thing to happen.
Bucky helped Harlow into her apartment when Ms. Stanfield had brought her home. Ms. Stanfield had to go straight to the bakery afterward for work, but she was thankful Bucky was there to help them. Harlow had arrived just in time for lunch, so Bucky made sure he made enough macaroni and cheese for the three of them. He had asked Jodie what she wanted for lunch, and she told him she wanted macaroni and cheese. It had been pretty easy to make, even though he wasn't completely following the instructions on the back of the box.
"Ms. Stanfield gave me next week off to get better. The doctor said I'll be weak for the next couple of days, but I'm not neccesarily worried about how weak I am. My problem, is that I have to get Jodie up and ready for school Monday, and I'm still not going to be feeling the greatest. Ms. Stanfield said she'd be bringing Jodie to school, I'd just have to pick her up. I don't know how well I'll do walking to that school though. God! I'm so frustrated!" She ranted, as Bucky simply listened.
"I can come over and get Jodie ready for you," Bucky commented, and Harlow smiled.
"Really? Are you sure?" She asked, hope evident in her voice.
Bucky knew he was pushing himself a bit, but the more he spent time with Harlow and Jodie, the more normal and somewhat calm he was beginning to feel. Sure, it was a bit unorthodox for him, but he wasn't going to give up on what good he had going for him. He was starting to become selfish with the little bit of good in his life, and he really didn't want to let it go.
"It's fine," He murmured, and she nodded.
"Do you think—if I'm still having dizzy spells—do you think you could go pick up Jodie from school Monday?" Harlow asked, but he looked reluctant,"I can call and tell them you'll be getting her, and I'll make sure they release her to you, but that's only if I can't do the walk myself," She rambled, causing Bucky to sigh quietly.
Bucky didn't want to be seen in public too much, and he really didn't want to be seen, recognized, or attacked if he had Jodie with him. HYDRA could hurt Jodie, or at least use her against him to make him comply. He just didn't want to be caught up like that, but he also didn't want to disappoint either girl, or put Harlow in a situation that could cause her to be sick again.
"Okay," He mumbled, knowing he really couldn't find an answer that was suitable.
He didn't want to tell Harlow or Jodie about the Winter Soldier. The memories hurt too much, and he didn't want to feel the pain of the girls hating him for his past. He knew they would have every right to hate him, but he didn't want that to happen. He was slowly becoming attached to them, and with that attachment came the dread of what was to come later on. HYDRA could grab them, hurt them, or use them against Bucky. HYDRA could trigger the Winter Soldier, and force Bucky to hurt the girls. Bucky would eventually have to tell them the truth about his past, and he had a feeling they would hate him for it.
Any person in their right mind would hate him for what he had done, even if he was brainwashed and forced to hurt and kill those people as the Winter Soldier. The pain he felt from it was beyond comprehensive at times, but he had to deal with it. It was his own form of punishment, and he really didn't want to be burden free after everything he had done in his life. Hell, he wondered if anyone knew everything that he had did.
Anyhow, Bucky helped Harlow with whatever she needed, which was mostly cooking and washing dishes. She could do a lot herself, she just had trouble standing for a long time, and walking around more than just a few minutes at a time. Apparently, whatever her illness was—which Bucky hadn't asked about—she was going to stay dizzy for a while. There really wasn't anything the doctor could do, which Bucky kind of thought was stupid.
When night came around, Bucky helped Harlow tuck Jodie in and get her room ready for bed, before he decided it was time to go back to his own apartment.
"If you need me, come knock. I'll hear you," He said, then disappeared into his own apartment.
He could tell Harlow was grateful for all of his help, but he also felt like she was going to get tired of him being around, if he was around too much at one time. He wanted to see them more, he wouldn't deny it, but he didn't want to deal with what was to come afterward. There was no doubt in his mind that something would come and make him disappear, he just didn't want it to happen any time soon...
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Apartment 102 (B. Barnes) (AU)
Fanfiction*The story has been edited and revised* Bucky Barnes had finally ran away from HYDRA, but he was in hiding. He was too worried, and a bit scared, to go to his childhood friend, Steve Rogers, so he tried to hide from the blonde as well. Bucky had jum...
