A Flower's Affection (KiriBaku Flower Shop AU)

Eijiro Kirishima-Spiral

This chapter has the cadence of a never ending panic attack. Eijiro's thoughts are extremely self derogatory and often times verge on self sacrificial.
        At the end, none of these characters will be the same.

        Ei was stalling.

        The skies had gotten dark, fat rain drops falling slowly against the pavement, maybe a sign of what was to come. Thunder rolled far off in the distance, brooding and ominous. Today was an awful sort of day indeed.

        He knew the moment he walked through the familiar doors of his dormitory, with his knuckles bloody from beating into villains all afternoon, everything was going to change. He wasn't going to be able to hide behind the cheery smiles anymore, the half-baked excuses of 'tired' or 'anxious' or 'everything's fine.' Everyone was going to know the dark secrets he'd so carefully kept hidden for years, terrified that if anyone found the truth he'd lose everything he had left.

        His skin crawled just at the thought of it, still fuzzy with the lingering feeling of fingers on his skin. Eijiro hated this, hated knowing that it could all come crashing down in an instant, hated the fear lurking behind each corner. Years of hard work and personal achievement, crumbling around him like a villain's bad day. He had blind spots, weaknesses, liabilities, things that could be exploited against him as they had been before. Things he needed now, things he loved, people he could never live without again.

        But Mina was adamant there was no other way. Mina insisted that if the class didn't know, someone was going to get hurt. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if that happened.

        They didn't deserve that. None of them deserved that.

        Katsuki didn't deserve that.

        So taking a deep breath, he pushed open the doors, Mina slipping in behind him.

        For a moment, nothing changed. Momo and Jiro lingered by the kitchen counter, drinking tea quietly in each other's company. Denki, Midoriya, Todoroki, and Hanta looked to be studying in the sitting area of the common room. Koda had the TV on, watching Animal Planet with Ojiro and Tokoyami. Iida, Tsu, and Ochaco stood huddled in a corner with Aoyama, but it was hard to tell if they were arguing or maybe worrying. They had all had time after class to change out of their uniforms and into more comfortable clothes, unlike Eijiro and Mina. Everything was quiet. Peaceful.

        Until Sato and Shoji walked in from the kitchen and caught him standing in the doorway. "Kirishima-"

        "Kiri!"

        "Hey, man, you okay?"

        "That was quite a scene. Hope everything's alright."

        "Kirishima..."

        "We've been so worried about you-"

        "Mina said you were gonna want to talk to us—we're all here."

        "We're here for you, Kiri."

        "So glad you're alright."

        Too much. There were people all around him and a suffocating thickness in the air, but even scanning them twice he didn't find his boyfriend. So many people, so many expectations—where were his exits? Hands, so many hands, God that was a lot of hands. He couldn't focus on one person, let alone twenty. A lot of eyes, watching, watching, watching. Could he escape, if he needed to? Could Mina even stop him if he tried. They were worried about him, they were his friends, they didn't mean any harm, they had never meant any harm, but his friends had unknowingly hurt him before. Not these friends; older friends. Friends that had long since forgotten him.