I'm not into socialising much, but it almost feels like I am way more than I am, it's just stifled. And so i wonder sometimes what it'd be like to like it. And why I don't.
What it'd be like to live a life of sociality rather than of intellect. What it'd be like to spend my evenings out with friends drinking beer and being loud and dumb in some empty park or whatever, instead of reading and watching and writing and learning
and suffering in a world where few care about the truth.
(Can I lose my intellectuality for a few minutes, please? Pft).
What it'd be like to care abt those things.
What it'd be like.
Life's not so black and white. I could still be that without losing who I am.
I just seem, somewhat, to not be into that. Oh well.
THEN WHY THE FUCK DO I WONDER? WHAT IS IT IN ME THAT YEARNS?
Maybe it's just I've never had it - in a way, sort of, somehow - and my brain wants the EXPERIENCE. Coz I'm still young, you know.
I'm still young.
Feel fuckin old though.
I still live my childlike fantasies about life and fun and parties and sex.
It's not like that, damn it.
I've seen it, I should know.
But somehow, for whatever reason, I still believe there's better stuff out there that I've just simply
somehow
missed.
Perhaps I have.
qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm
Pull the nicest letters out of the alphafuckingbet and write me the nicest story I can't imagine.
No, I am not the fucking writer, bitch, haven't u heard of weather? Do I write the fucking weather?!
Dog have mercy.
crem. Yes. Give me krem. Creamy juicy spurty krem. I'll be happy again.
Maybe.
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pojęcia nie mam co to było.
Kiedy uczucia bolą tak że nie umie się ich wyrazić bez humoru. I suppose I'm a very masculine man.* Chciałbym wrócić emocjonalnie do 2020. But, well, there's no recovery; scars stay forever (żeby jeszcze stawały się faktycznie bliznami zamiast pozostawać otwarte -_-).
* There's actually no joke or jibe or mockery here. Mężczyźni są ponoć bardziej emocjonalnie wrażliwi.
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I'M BILINGUAL AND I'M PROUD.
XD
Seriously though. Why stick to just one language when you know two. One who doesn't broaden his horizons never grows.
I don't mind the mess. The meaning stays intact anyway.
Nie żeby coś, ale pisanie po polsku jakoś inaczej wychodzi. Mój mózg inaczej działa w zależności od języka. Przy angielskim jest bardziej pokazowy czy co tam (i po chuj ja się przejmuję co słowa znaczą. Mało kto tak robi. Wszyscy literally don't care, nie wiem jak to jest nie dbać niedosłownie w takim razie. -_-). I suspect a conspiracy... Ale rób se mózgu co chcesz, ja sobie popatrzę. :)
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#10,11.2.23
CZYTASZ
heart beats
Poesía~ poezje itp ~ w gruncie rzeczy, jesteśmy worami mięsa, kości, i flaków. ale w tym worze mieści się mózg, a mózg to wciąż niezbadana złożoność, która z prostego wora potrafi uczynić święty graal. the heart beats/heartbeats/heartbeat: serce bije, ser...
