longing for someting "outside". something bigger/deeper.

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the antidote to spirituality is living alive

not by fixed texts and stiff principles. but by experience

that breathes and burns and aches and waters

and thrives on attention.


it's life. it's experiencing.

it's feeling. it's noticing.

it's listening. it's observing.

it's seeing. it's understanding.



you don't just read texts

written by some authorities.

you write your own sacred texts

about your own existence and feeling and not knowing

and you ARE in it. it's as simple (=/= easy) as existence


with attention.



beauty

is not just in others' hands. yours are hands too.

and they can create most intimate testaments to your experience

to the whole that makes up you and your life. they can make love to your self

better than anyone else

because

they know you and see you and feel you.

that kind of beauty is not just pretty — it's deep and rich and potent.



the real value — we're chasing vainly in spirituality — is when you've found the connection

with yourself.


it's when you've been with and through

your joy

your tears

your anger

your fears

your bones

your blood

your flesh

your voice

your dreams

your lust

your curiosity

your trust


in something higher than the self

— in the depths of your very own brain.


it's when you've felt yourself on every level

and lost yourself and found yourself again

and again

and again

because fulfilment is life and life is alive. ever changing

wild and unpredictable like the ocean

deep and mysterious

waves and spirals.

fibonacci.


it's when you've recognized the truths of yourself outside of yourself

and found the you outside of what you knew.


nothing is more fulfilling

than telling spirituality "you're a lie of the sleeping"

and opening your eyes, getting naked, and feeling yourself

to death.


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#1.5.23, updated 8.6.24

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Bawi mnie w [moim] mózgu wiele rzeczy. Np. to że powracam do pewnych wniosków co jakiś czas ale za każdym razem dochodzę do nich nieco inną drogą, od innej strony, i tak sobie to w końcu w pełni klika a ja się pytam CZEMU nie kliknęło wcześniej bo już wcześniej to zauważyłem/zrozumiałem. Eh.

Bałagan. I don't like it; but it's okay.

heart beatsOpowiadania do pokochania. Odkryj je teraz