The Owl House oneshots and other stuff

Quiet.

Platonic Lilith×Eda🌧
⚠Warnings⚠:Quite a bit of angst. Crying, self hate
This takes place during season 2, before Lillith moves out of the Owl House

Lilli's POV:
It's nighttime. I'm lying on the couch in the Owl House. It's dark and quiet. I hate when it's quiet because there's nothing to distract me from my thoughts.

I can hear all of my regrets loud and clear inside my head. Everything I should've done, everything I wish I hadn't done, every bad thing I think about myself, every voice in my head begging for someone to say they're proud of me, the loudest voice arguing that I don't deserve for anyone to be proud of me because I'm a horrible person.

These thoughts are especially bad tonight. I keep thinking about how Eda is letting me stay in her home, helping me with my half of the curse, taking care of me, loving me, despite everything I've done.

I keep thinking about how I don't deserve her forgiveness, her love, I don't even deserve to be her sister. She doesn't deserve to be related to someone like me. She doesn't deserve to have me in her life. What I did was unforgivable. Everything I've ever done is unforgivable.

I sit up and start to cry. I don't know why. There's nothing to cry about. Who am I crying for? Me? My sister? Who? What am I doing? That's what's going through my head as hot, angry tears fall out of my eyes.

"What am I doing this for? What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing?" I must've started saying this out loud without realizing it because I hear Eda's bedroom door open.

"Lilli?" I hear her say sleepily. Great. I've woken my sister up. I want to respond, I want to tell her to go back to sleep and that I'm fine, but I can't speak. When I try to, all that comes out is a choked sob.

"Lilli..." She sounds worried now. That's not what I was going for. I hear her fumble around for something, then I see a ball of light. I see her face. She looks horrified. Is it because of me? Am I horrifying?

"Lilli, what's wrong? You're freaking me out."

Why am I freaking her out? Is it my crying? My lack of speaking? I have to say something, but I can't. I just keep crying harder. If I keep this up, I might awaken the entire house, literally. Hooty is surely awake by now.

Eda walks towards me and puts her arms around me, just like I did with her when we were kids when she was sad.

Sad. Is this what this is? I wouldn't say I'm sad. I mainly just feel regret and hatred towards myself for doing things worth regretting.

Eda doesn't say anything. Not a thing. She just lets me cry. I'm crying so much I'm afraid I might drown us both.

Crying into my sister's shoulder. Again. She always has her shoulder right there anytime I need to cry. Which, to my dismay, is quite a lot. Even after everything I did, she is still always here, waiting to put her arms around me and let me cry until I can't anymore.

Which is what's happening. I eventually tire myself out, but I still keep my head on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Eda. For everything I've done. I'm so, so sorry. My apology is worth nothing but I have to say it. I should've said it before." I mumble.

"Is this what all of this is about?" She asks softly. I nod.

"Oh, Lilli. You don't have to keep beating yourself up for things that happened in the past. It's okay. I forgive you. You're my sister, Lilith. Sure, the things you did weren't great, but you've proven that you truly feel guilty about everything, and I think that's punishment enough. You're an amazing sister, Lils. I love you."

Is she starting to cry as well?

"I love you too, sister." I say quietly. She continues to sit with me and eventually we both fall asleep.

I've done some pretty horrible things in my life, but if Eda can forgive me, I guess I can forgive myself, too.

The End💙
I know this one is a lot more angsty than what I usually write, but I decided to write something a little different. I hope you guys like this one, and if you don't, don't worry, I'm still going to continue to write plenty of fluff. See y'all in the next one! Byeeee