The Owl House oneshots and other stuff

Lonely?

Lilith angst/fluff-ish (I'm not sure how to describe this lol)

Lilli's POV (past, when she was a teen):
Something's wrong. I think. I've been feeling really sad lately for some reason. I shouldn't be sad. I have everything I want. I'm in the Emperor's Coven. I'm becoming a powerful witch. Just like I wanted.

I still do want that, so I'm not sure what's going on. Nothing has happened to make me upset. At least I don't think anything has happened.

The only thing I can think of is Raine and Eda. I see them hanging out all the time, which is good. I'm glad Eda is happy. Or, as happy as she can be with that stupid curse I gave her.

She deserves to have a friend like Raine. Or whatever Raine is to her, I can't even tell anymore. I've never met Raine, but I hear Eda talking about them quite a bit, so I know a little bit about them.

I don't know why I would be sad about Eda having a friend, though. It doesn't make sense that that would upset me. I don't think that's it.

Anyway, it's lunchtime. I'm sitting at a table by myself. I stopped talking to Eda after I cursed her. I feel guilty when I look at her, because I know that I've probably ruined her life, so I just stay away from her.

As I sit by myself, I see Raine and Eda sitting together. They're laughing about something, but I can't tell what.

All of a sudden, Eda kisses them on the cheek. They both blush. I suddenly feel a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

That's weird. Why? This isn't normal. Why am I sad about this? Is it because Eda has someone she loves? Why should I feel sad about that?

I don't even feel romantic attraction to people. I can't be jealous of something I don't want. Right?

That's ridiculous. Of course it's not that. It's not jealousy. It can't be. I have what I want, I don't need what Eda has. I don't want what Eda has. Not at all. Not even a little bit. So why do I feel like this? What's wrong with me?

As I'm getting lost in my thoughts, I feel a tear roll down my cheek. And then another. More come, and fast. I don't want anyone to see me crying, so I just walk to my homeroom, which is empty.

Of course Eda will come in soon, but I have a bit of time to stop crying. I can't believe myself. I'm not supposed to cry. Especially not over things like this.

I'm not lonely. I'm not lonely at all. Being lonely is wanting someone to hang out with you or love you but not getting anyone.

Like Eda before she met Raine. She was lonely. I'm not, because I don't want anyone. I'm perfectly fine by myself.

Right? Isn't that what I tell myself everyday? Isn't it true? I haven't been lying to myself, right? I'm not lonely, right? I can't be. There's no way. I'm fine.

Lilli's POV (Season 1):
I have everything I want. I have everything I've ever wanted since I was a kid. I'm happy here. I'm grateful I was given this opportunity, but I can't help but wonder, what is it like to have friends?

What is it like to know that there are people who really care about you? People that love you, even.

I know there are people in the Emperor's Coven that care about me. There's...Steve. I think.

Oh, who am I kidding? Steve doesn't care about me. He fears me. There's a difference.

I know I said I wanted power, and I do, but I also want real people.

Even surrounded by everything I want, I can't help but feel lonely.

Lonely. Psshh. Lonely is a word for the weak. I'm in the Emperor's Coven. I'm constantly around the most powerful witch in the Demon Realm. The Emperor. I have no time to whine about being "lonely."

I'm too busy for that. I have important things to do. There's no time for wishing I had a friend or whatever.

I don't need a friend. I need power and validation. Both of which I'm receiving here in the Emperor's Coven. I don't need anything or anyone else. I'm fine.

Lilli's POV (Season 2):
Lonely. I used to hate this word.

It made no sense to me, because I felt lonely, but didn't think I had a reason to.

I always thought my life was too good for me to want someone else in it. I thought I was too powerful to need a friend. I thought I wasn't allowed to be lonely.

I was wrong about all of that, and I realize that now.

I was lonely. I wanted someone to love me. Not in a romantic way, but in a way where what I do matters to them. I matter to them. I have that now. I have everything I want.

Sure, I'm not in the Emperor's Coven anymore like I wanted to be when I was younger, but I don't think I ever really wanted that.

I wanted to be respected and seen as important. That's what I wanted, and I have that now.

I have Eda again, and King, and Luz, and Hooty. Friends. Family, actually. That's even better. I can now say with confidence that I'm not lonely. I'm fine.

The End💙 Lilith!! I love her so much. I hope y'all like this one! Sorry I haven't been writing as much, I've just kind of been running out of ideas. I'll probably write more today, though, so that's something for you all to look forward to. Anyways, byeeeeee! See you in the next part!