Fractured • Choi Yeonjun

Chapter 34

Blame~

Yeonjun had been debating on going to work with the others, or stay home and wait for Evelyn to wake.

They had to take shifts staying home if Yeonjun decided not to stay home most of the time alone while the others worked.

"Why don't you just stay and Huening Kai can stay as well? We don't really need more than three on this mission." Soobin said over breakfast.

It had been three days now since Evelyn technically came back to life. She had yet to wake up though.

"I think that will be fine," Yeonjun said, he really didn't want to leave her, but he didn't want to be alone with her. He was scared that what had happened to her while that demon whore and Andromalius had been playing mind games with her would make her freak out if he was the only one she saw when waking up.

"And, if anything happens. You know how to work a phone." Soobin added with a small smirk when he saw the look Yeonjun was giving him.

"Of course." Huening Kai replied with a smile as he took a seat at the table.

Yeonjun's eyes went to the extra seat that had been empty for months now. Soon she'll be back sitting with us... talking her usual shit. Yeonjun couldn't quite smile about that thought just yet. There was still a shadow behind every good thought he had about her being back.

Yeonjun and Huening Kai went their own ways as the others left for work. Yeonjun had thought about checking on Evelyn. But he didn't want to just yet this morning. He kept fighting in his mind.

A part of him thought about being the first one to see her eyes really open and being the first to hold her, telling her how much he had missed her. Then the other part knew better. Every time he pictured them hugging and being happy to see one another after being a part for so long, the memories of what those demons put her through would pop up. Taunting him.

"Those memories are etched into her soul." Dumah's words would repeat as well.

Yeonjun could not imagine having memories etched straight into his soul... he knew the fear Evelyn felt, would be hard for her to forget.

Those thoughts are what kept making his heart squeeze tight. He didn't want to see fear in her eyes, especially if it was directed towards him.

How badly he wanted to kill that demon whore again and to rip into Andromalius. He wished so often that Dumah had never made him promise to not touch Andromalius. If she had never done that, a lot of their problems would not exist.

But, if you killed him while he had Evelyn's soul fragments, she would have never been able to come back to life...

Yeonjun sighed as his sane voice spoke out. It was right though, if he had killed Andromalius when he first got his memories back. Evelyn would be lost to them forever.

Now though, now he could rip him the shreds while smiling brightly about it. It would bring him so much peace to tear that demon to shreds.

He wanted to make those demons feel much more fear than they made Evelyn feel.

Yeonjun recalls the times when Evelyn said she had the worst of luck, or that the world just wanted her to die.

He shook his head. There was no way one person could have such bad luck. If anything it was Yeonjun that had rubbed his bad luck off on her as well as her own bad luck- because he had to admit, she had bad luck before they met. But. there was no way for one person to have as much bad luck as it seemed Evelyln had.

It made him think, for just a brief moment to leave her alone. Maybe then her luck would become better.

Yeonjun knew Taehyun and Evelyn didn't love one another like he loved her, and vice versa. But, he thought about leaving her for him to take care of. Maybe then, her life would become easy, but he couldn't. He could not leave her behind like that, not after everything they had been through together.

Yeonjun's thoughts were just all over the place. He didn't really have one solid train of thought going on at all. It would switch from how happy he was that Evelyn was back, then how she may not want to see him as soon as she woke up. Then he was angry about what the demons had done to her, or sad that she could never catch a break.

Yeonjun shook his head as he stood from his bed, he would just pop in and check on her.

Once in her room, he sat down on the stool. His eyes locked on her face, waiting to see if she made any movement at all.

"I'm so conflicted right now. What do I do? Will you be scared to see me when you first wake up? Or will you do as I kept imagining for months? Every time I thought of you waking up, I would imagine the surprise in your eyes as you realized you were actually back... I imagined you'd pull me in by the collar of my shirt and kiss me, or hug me. Either one... but now, all I can imagine is you seeing me and not wanting me to be around you."

Yeonjun felt the back of his throat burn as his emotions bubbled up.

"You mean so much to me. You bring a side of me out that I didn't know even existed anymore... You make me a better person Evelyn." He reached up and brushed her hair away from her face. Standing up, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I don't care if you still love me or not, just don't be scared of me. I promise what those demons made you see, will never be me." Yeonjun knew the reason behind those things they made Evelyn see. It was always a fear of hers, and he thinks that's what hurts him the most about it.

Evelyn had always been scared that Yeonjun was just playing her, that he would up and leave her broken as soon as she fell deeply in love with him. He had no one to blame for that, but himself for all he had done to her. 

~~

Tbh, I feel like this part kinda sucks, but that's okay lol. Kinda a filler ig you could say. I'm just trying to plan out her waking up so its good and not a shit show.

I hope you all are doing great. It's Monday 🤧

My brain is kinda just lagging a lil rn. I'm going to be working on chapter 35 today, but idk how fast it'll be done  My stupid self needs to practice my posture while sitting. My back is killing me😂

Hope you all have a great day/night!! I love and appreciate all my readers so much!