Bored, you sit on your porch, staring at the old Sho Gi board. Before passing, your father used to play all the time. As a kid, you always said that he was so old to be playing such a boring game. After all, it never seemed very appealing. Not until he was gone. In your free time, you sit in front of it, trying to remember the things he taught you about it. Regrettably, you didn't listen. Now, you'd kill to have that time back.
He died a shinobi's death. Everyone said that it was honorable. They said you should be proud. But you weren't. How can you be proud of him leaving you and your mother all alone? How can you be proud of him choosing his pride over his family. While you hate him, you miss him. You miss him more than anything else in the world. You'd give everything to see him just one more time. Anything at all. And that was a month ago.
Tired, you stand up and go inside, straight to your room. You sit on your bed, looking out the window. Clouds move. The sun shines brightly. While you've lost half your world, the earth keeps spinning. You may be in your worst mental state, but that doesn't mean everyone else is.
You lie onto your back, closing your eyes Everything is heavy. There's a crushing weight on your shoulders. Even so, nothing comes to mind with your closed eyelids. It's all blank. Black. Soon enough, you fall into a deep sleep, like you've been doing much too often lately.
The village is quiet, like always. There's a bit of soft chatter here and there, and occasional child laughing. Same old, same old. While walking, your head is down, eyes trained on the ground. Suddenly, you bump into someone. A boy. Black hair in al big ponytail on the top of his head, reminding you of a pineapple. His eyes are a dark brown and narrow, deep bags highlighting them. Pale and about average height, you must admit, he's handsome.
"Hey," he says with a deep, gruff, and sleepy voice. "Try to walk where you're going, kay?"
"Mh." When was the last time you said anything? Carefully, you try to move past him.
"Not everyone is as forgiving as me, he continues, making you stop. You gotta be careful."
"Mh."
"Hm? Won't even apologize?"
"Sorry," Your voice is dry and a bit cracked from lack of use.
"You okay?"
"NO."
And like that, you keep walking. You haven't pretended to be okay. You can't. You're simply incapable of it. When home, your drop the grocery bag on the counter for your mom. The only thing that keeps you moving is the fact that you don't want to leave her on her own.
'Welcome home,' she says, forcing a smile onto her face. You simply nod, then walk back to your room. Strangely, the boy from before sticks in your mind. Since everything happened, he's the only one who ever asked if you were okay. People talked about you all the time, thinking you weren't there or couldn't hear. But, for once, someone asked you. They showed concern. They showed that they care.
Heck even made, you. speak. You haven't done t that in a long long time. You used 1 to be bubbly and energetic, but forgot it all after t the loss. Its surprising and unexpected. Already, you're fond of him.
Grocery shopping. Again. This time, you overhear a faintly familiar voice. "Play me in Sho Gi later." Looking over, you find the special boy. He's with an older man that resembles him. His father, maybe?
"Sure, but you won't beat me."
"Yeah, yeah. Don't be too sure just yet." He makes eye contact with you, so gives a small wave. Awkwardly, you give a small wave back. He walks over to you, a small smirk on his face. It's been a month since you've seen him. "Hey."
Slowly, you manage to say, "Hi."
'How you been lately? Same as before?"
"Yes."
"I didn't get your name last time."
"Y/n L/n."
"Shikamaru Nara. Nice to officially meet you."
"Yeah, There's an awkward pause. "I overheard you. You... know how to play Sho Gi?"
Eyes lighting up, he replies, "Yeah. Why?"
"Teach me. Please."
"Hm? Sure, I guess. Should I come to your place? You to mine?"
"Your place." You don't want your mom to meet him or anything: You're much too guilty. Allthis time, you've refused to talk to her, and it'd be cruel to let her see you speaking to some random boy. "If that's okay."
"Perfectly fine." He looks to his father, who seems to be waiting impatiently. "Hey, Old Man! Change of plans! We got company today!"
Raising a brow, the elder male approaches the two of you. "Company? You mean this girl?"
"Yeah."
"You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend."
"How troublesome... not a girlfriend. An acquaintance who asked a favor. Sheesh."
"Sorry," you mutter.
"It's fine. Let's just go. And please, try to stay away from my mother."
"Of course,"
In his Sho Gi room, you and the Nara boy set up the table. You're quiet as usual, and he's not talkative, either. Once done, he asks, "So what makes you wanna learn Sho Gi?"
"My dad used to play:"
"Used to?"
"He died two months ago. Before, he'd always talk about this game to me, but i never listened. regret it and wish I remember it all, ya' know?"
"I see. I'm happy to help"
"Thanks,"
"Anytime."
It takes awhile, but you end up picking up on the rules. You cant say it's your favorite game, but it reminds of you of something important. The only important thing.
By the end of the day, you stand up and bow a bit. "Thank you,"
"Of course,"
"I'll be going, then."
"Hey, if you ever wanna stop by, feel free to. I'm always up for a game of Sho Gi."
"Thanks,"
"Listen, I know it's tough to loose people you love. it sucks and you're angry. I understand how you feel. I lost my sensei awhile back. He was like a second-father. I won't lie. I took revenge. But, facts are, anger won't bring him back, and forcing everyone away won't, either. And it won't make you feel better. I dunno how you are at home or with the people close to you, but you should know that when someone seems to care, you should hold on to them. Not ever yone will stick around forever as you push 'em away, y'know."
"Okay"
"Don't push me away, either."
"What do you want me to do?"
"Try to not be so off-standish."
"Fine. Happy now?"
Smiling a bit, he goes, "Yeah."
"Then I'll be going now."
"I'II walk you home."
"No."
When inside of your house, you don't see your mom anywhere. Shrugging it off, you go to your room. Once inside, you find your mom, sitting on your bed. She gives a tight smile, then pats the spot beside her. Carefully, you sit there, not uttering a word.
"You're late,' she says, to which you nod. "Where were you?"
"I was with a friend."
A bit surprised by you answering, she widens her eyes. But what surprises her even more is what you said. A friend?
"Which one? I haven't seen you with anyone in awhile."
"You don't know him."
"A boy?" Her eyes light up
"Nothing's going on."
"Okay, okay. If you say so. How did you meet this friend? She has to take this opportunities. Who knows when you'll talk again?"
"Bumped into him in town?"
"And?"
"And I asked him to teacn me Sno Gi today."
"So that's it."
"And?"
"Don't just use him."
"I'm not. I learned how, okay? And I'm not just gonna cut him off. I can't believe you think that-"
"I haven't heard you talk this much in almost two months."
"Cool."
"Are you doing any better?"
"A bit, I guess." While with Shikamaru, you forgot everything. You haven't been that at peace in a long time.
Her smile broadens. "Why don't you come cook dinner with me? It's been awhile."
"Alright."
As you cook, you think about what Shikamaru said. He's right. You know that. It's just irritating. Even so, you can't help but be fond of him. He's a nice boy and understands you a bit. You appreciate him, as infuriating as he can be.
"Wanna play a game of Sho Gi?" you ask, leaning on Shikamaru's doorframe.
"Sure. C'mon in."
You play silently, not knowing what else to say. Finally, he asks, "How'd you sleep last night?"
"Too much,"
"I feel that. l love to sleep."
"It's definitely a good escape from the world."
"I have a napping spot, where nobody bothers me."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. We could hang out sometime."
"Sure. I have plenty of time."
"I should tell you. I'm a shinobi."
You stop, remembering the bloody body brought back into the village. The one that barely resembled your father. Will the same happen to Shikamaru? Will he also die a shinobi's death?
"You are?"
"Yeah. Common for the Nara clan, actually."
You stand up. "I gotta go."
"Hm? Where-"
You run out the door. You thought that you could get to know him. Maybe be friends. But you can't. You just cant. What if he dies? Leaves you? Just abandons you for a mission? You can't take that. You'd rather keep your distance. Cut him off before he can leave.
You run into your bedroom and slam the door. And that's when the tears falls. You were so fond of him. More than you'd like to admit. But you can't take the risk. You're too afraid.
Every day, you try to avoid Shikamaru. He'll try to wave at you, but you just leave. It goes on like this for a long, long time. Longer than you'd like, in all honesty. It'd be easier if he'd give up, but he won't.
A whole month goes by, and it's still the same. But, when there's a knock on your door, which has your mom calling you downstairs. When you're there, you see Shikamaru on your couch, your mom in the chair smiling. "Y/n, dear, your friend is here! He was insistent that he needs to talk to you!"
"Oh. What's up?" You put your hands in your pockets, uncomfortable already.
'Can we go someplace private? Doesn't have to be here if you don't want to to be."
Your mom says, "You guys can go up go her room. Just behave, okay?" She winks at you, to which you roll your eyes.
"Of course," You and Shikamaru go to your room, and he shuts the door softly. "Are you angry with me?"
Sitting on your bed, you reply, "No."
"Then why are you avoiding me?"
"Because I can."
"What's going on?"
"I don't wanna loose you" you finally admit.
"What? That doesn't make any sense."
"You're a shinobi. You'll die. And when you do, l bet you won't even think of me. Just your pride. When my dad died, according to his teammates, his only regret was loosing that fight. Not because he was leaving behind his family. But because it broke his pride. That's what ninja do. They're only concern is stupid missions that put their lives in danger. If you're gonna do that, at least be strong." Tears well up in your eyes. "I-"
"So you think I'm weak?" He scoffs. "I'm lazy, not weak. Dying isn't exactly on my agenda. Not yet, anyway. l give it... at least fifty more years. Dying before you're in your mid-sixties is such a drag, y'know?"
"This isn't funny!"
"It wasn't meant to be. Y/n, if you think I'm gonna die, then you've miscalculated. And if you think you won't be on my mind in my final moments, then you're just plain stupid."
"Excuse me-"
"As troublesome as you, I care about you a lot. And y'know what else? I think about ya', too."
"That doesn't mean-"
"You're not getting the point. Y/n, my motives weren't ever friendly."
"Then what did you want?"
"You still can't tell? What a drag."
"What aren't you telling me?!"
Rolling his eyes, he finally says, "I like you. Romantically. When we first met, I found you to be attractive and as I learned more about you, took interest. There. Happy now?"
"You...like me.. romantically?"
"Yeah. That's why I said it."
Shaking your head you mutter repeatedly, "I can't. I can't"
"Can't what? Did I ask you to accept my feelings?"
"I just... I cant... I can't come to terms with-"
"Oh, shut up. It's not about how you feel. I was just telling you the truth, dummy."
"Why me? How am I attractive? I've never been- I'm not pretty."
"Hm? Why aren't you pretty?" He tilts his head to the side. "I'm not seeing anything to make you think that."
"Just look at me. I'm even fat-"
"Stop right there. Just like I no...what a drag.. listen, it's not about weight, alright? Looking like a twig doesn't make you attractive. Most guys don't even give a crap, anyway. Honestly, a little meat on your bones makes you look healthier. So don't even say that type stuff."
"Fine. I'm not exactly a fun person. At least, not anymore."
"You're a great Sho Gi partner."
"Still.I-"
"Knock it off. I'm picking you up at 6 tomorrow, kay? Be ready. lf not, 'Il be dragging you out in that charming messy bun and stained Tee. Though, it'll suck when all the other guys start hitting on you."
Rolling his eyes, he walks out. You're stuck on your bed, stunned. Is that his way of asking you out? If so, it was a bit rude. Then again, what else would you expect from him? That's just how he is.
A bit early, Shikamaru is knocking on your door. You're just in a common outfit, too tired and flustered to try too hard.
When he sees you, his gives a smile of approval.
"Looking good," he says.
"Haha, so funny."
"I was serious. Let's go."
He takes you to a barbecue restaurant, which you didn't 1 fully expect. You won't complain, though. Before meeting Shikamaru, you hardly even ate. You've been getting better, though it's not back fully just yet. However, you try to eat, not wanting to upset him. After all, he is being kind enough to take you out to eat.
Halfway through the meal, he says, "Let's just cut the little dates. Be my girlfriend. Officially. It's stupid to try and be all slow and crap.
"W- what?"
"You heard me. I don't have the patience for all this. It's too much of a drag."
"I don't even know how I feel yet."
"Really? Because I've been studying you. It seems like you reciprocate. Even if you don't realize it."
"Don't tell me how I feel!"
"Well, if you won't figure it out for yourself, I have to."
"You're so irritating." You pout a bit.
"Well? You gonna keep rejecting me?"
Your frown while staring at the table. "You won't die, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
"C'mon. Take it seriously."
"I won't leave you. I swear."
"Alright. Fine."
"Finally."
When he drops you off at home, he gives you a quick peck on the lips before leaving. Once inside, your mom grins.
"Just friends?"
"I'm going to bed!" You run to your room.
