Sugawara goes inside his gym bag, ready to get changed for practice. However, he's taken by surprise when a little envelope falls off of his shirt. It's red with a pink heart sticker sealing it shut. His name is written in beautiful handwriting on the front, and in parentheses, it says, "A Letter to Confess the Most Beautiful and Guilty feeling." He looks around shyly, then stuffs it back in his bag. He won't say anything until he reads its contents. Pushing it all to the back of his mind, he begins changing his clothes. For a moment, he swears he sees someone by the gym door, but when he goes to get a better look, nobody's there. For the entire practice, he keeps thinking about that envelope. What does it say? What's the beautiful and guilty feeling? And why didn't you say it to his face? When he finally gets home, he sits on his bed and opens it, finding two pages worth of content.
Dear Koshi Sugawara,
You don't know who I am, and that's okay, of course. I've never tried to show myself to you or anything.
To clarify, this letter's purpose is to convey my feelings for you. I've had them for quite awhile, and I just couldn't keep holding them in like this. I had to get them out. I hope you don't mind, Sugawara Senpai.
I'm in love with you. It's not a crush. It's not a simple liking. It's pure, powerful love. I've had crushes before, and this is nothing like it. I love everything about you, from the mole by your eye, to the way you're always cheering on your volleyball team.
Your eyes are so bright like stars, and they light up the room, I swear. The moment you walk into the cafeteria, it's ten times brighter. And what's more, they light up my entire life. It illuminates the whole world, making it seem happier and a better place to live.
Your smile practically kills me, it's so beautiful. Every time you flash it, my heart almost pounds out of my chest. I could stare at it for the rest of time. It's the most precious thing in existence, and I want to use my whole life to protect it. Your smile makes me want to smile, no matter how bad a day I had. It's like magic, the way you fix all the bad things in the world with just one action.
That little mole by your cheek is precious. It's uniquely yours and holds a special place in my heart. I like to just look at it for awhile, and that's how I cope with anything. I just look at that little mole. It's so cute, and I confess, I'd love to just kiss it (don't worry!! I know boundaries!!).
Your hair is fluffy and stunning. It frames your perfect face wonderfully, and I've only dreamt of playing with it, braiding it, and entangling my fingers in it. I've been obsessed with it the moment I first saw you.
Your lips are ravishing and perfect. You don't know how many dreams I've had where I got to kiss them. How many times I just fantasized about them. Just the slightest movements send an arrow straight through my heart. When you speak, when you eat, when you breathe--it's always beautiful and even a bit seductive.
For the sake of not being a pervert, I won't bring up the rest of your body. However, I'll say that the way you move on the court is so captivating. I've watched every video that's ever existed of all your matches, and I re-watch and re-watch and re-watch. I could see them all on loop and never get tired of it.
I could never get tired of you.
You don't know how in love I am with you. You're so kind and bubbly. Always supporting those around you, making them smile and feel as if they could do anything. Karasuno only flies because of you. You're the air beneath their wings. Setter. Your position really does set the game. You're the one who makes it all possible.
I love the way you do anything, even just exist. You make everything wonderful and glow. Just thinking about you makes me happier than anyone in the world.
I know this isn't much, but I hope you could at least feel a sense of confidence from this. I won't write you millions of letters, as that could just be annoying and inconvenient. I just wanted you to know.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Once again, I love you and wish the best for you. Good luck this season. Win nationals! You can do it! Fly Karasuno! Fly!
With More Love Than There Is On Earth, Yours
Sugawara rereads this over and over again, trying to process it all. Someone in love with him? Really? That's possible? Hands shaking a bit, he folds the papers and places them back in the envelope, then places it on his end table. If only they said who you were. Then he could thank them. Maybe even get to know them some. Sighing, he lies down, unable to get the letter out of his head. Before falling asleep, he just wishes that you signed your name. If only....
Sugawara shows the letter to Sawamura, who reads it carefully.
When he finishes, he says, "It seems that you have a secret admirer. She's a bit younger, too. You're her senpai."
"I can see that. I just wish she signed her name. I mean, now I can't go meet her."
"She probably doesn't want you to."
"But it's not fair. I could get to know her and we could go out. Just give her some time. I'm sure she'll want to talk to you eventually."
"You're right."
The rest of the day, he thinks about them non-stop. What are they like? Are they pretty? Sweet? Feisty? Airheaded? A bit more serious? So many questions, but no answers.
"Oops!"
He bumps into someone in the halls. When he looks down a little, he finds something astonishing--a beautiful girl.
"Sorry!"
He holds out his hand to help you up. He notices you blush a bit as you get to your feet on your own.
"S'okay."
"You're alright, aren't you? Not hurt?"
"Fine"
"I'm just a bit outta it right now. Please don't be mad!"
"S'okay."
"I'm Koshi Sugawara, by the way. It's nice to meet you."
"Likewise,"
"What about you? What's your name?"
"Y/n L/n"
"Well, I'm happy to know you."
"Likewise."
" You don't really talk, do you? What year are you in?" he asks.
"Second."
"Then I'm your senpai!"
"I know."
"Ah.." he laughs awkwardly. "Let's be friends, okay? But I gotta go to my last class." He runs off. You're gorgeous. Maybe even as pretty as Shimizu. So, in his last class, he has thoughts of the letter and you. If only that letter was written by you! That could be such a stroke of luck. On his way home, he tells Sawamura about all this, who nods and listens, encouraging him. Deep, deep down, he prays that it's you.
Sugawara sees you on his way inside the school, so he waves with a big smile. In return, you give a smaller one, a tight smile on your face. He walks up, wanting to greet you.
"Hey," he says.
"H- hi."
"How was your night?"
"Fine."
"I've been up to detective work." If it's you, maybe you'll admit it right then and there.
"Why?"
"Someone wrote me an anonymous love letter. I'm trying to find out who."
"Oh.."
"I wish she'd have said who she is. I'd love to get to know her."
"Maybe she doesn't want that." Suddenly, you give him a determined look. "Maybe she's happy admiring you from afar. She might not be ready for a relationship, not have the time, or just not want it. Maybe she's scared. Maybe this is just easier. Maybe....maybe she doesn't want her heart to be ripped out of her chest. There's a dozen possible answers. And, a fact of the matter is, it's not your place to ask questions and try to force her."
"I know that, it's just.... she said all these nice things, and I at least want to thank her. Maybe even take her out at least once. She seems really sweet."
"It doesn't matter. It's up to her."
"I know, I know." He pouts a little.
"S- So, do you- have you- do you have any clues about the letter?"
"No, not yet. All I have is this beautiful handwriting, and I'm not a detective. I can't go- WAIT!!" He runs off, towards a teacher.
"Hey" he says, a bit out of breath. "Who has the nicest handwriting here?"
"Y/n L/n. Hers is extraordinary"
"Uhh..." he pulls out the letter. "Would it- could it possible match this?"
"I'm sorry, but we don't have their handwritings all memorized. It was worth a shot though, kid. I'm sure you'll find her."
"Thanks."
Sugawara walks to his class, a bit disappointed. Why can't you just come to him already?
He makes it an effort to greet you every day, and through time, you get used to him. Right now, you're talking in the hallways, about the letter given to him a month ago.
"'Still haven't gotten anything else," he says, looking at the ceiling.
"I mean, she said she wouldn't, but... it'd be nice to hear from her again. Maybe.. maybe hear that she moved on? Or wants to meet."
"You're so desperate" you say, rolling your eyes a bit. "I mean, it was probably a just-so-you-know type of thing . If I wrote a love letter, I'd do the same."
"But it's driving me crazy! I just- I'm so curious Maybe... she'll reveal herself one day. You don't know. Give her time I guess."
Meet me behind the school after practice.
-Your Secret Admirer
That's it. It's a piece of paper in his bookbag, the same beautiful handwriting that was in the letter. After practice, he's supposed to meet the secret admirer behind the school. And he's terrified. Recently, he's developed such strong feelings for you, and he doesn't know how to tell them. How to say he feels for someone else. It could hurt them so much, and he doesn't want to. When he sees you in the halls, he gives a bit of a smile.
"She wants to meet me," he tells you. "Behind the school."
"And you're not excited?"
"At first, I was. But now I'm nervous. I-I really have feelings for someone else and.." His voice trails off as he doesn't know how to say the last part.
"Then suck it up. You can't just leave her waiting."
"I won't. I swear on that. I'm just... nervous, is all."
"Well, get over it. I'm off to class. See you,"
"Wait, wanna watch my practice again?"
"Uh.. not today. I have..something important planned."
You walk away, and he just sighs. Great. You don't even want to hang out after school anymore. He spends the rest of the day with his head in a bubble. At lunch, he told everything to Sawamura, who just encouraged him, saying that it could be you. Of course, Sugawara brushed that off. You seem way too cool to write a love letter.
And then, the time comes. Anxious, he walks to behind the school, where he finds someone he didn't expect. You. What are you doing back here?
"What are you-"
"I asked you here, didn't l?" Your arms are folded as you lean against the school, looking at him from the corner of your eye.
"What? That was the girl who wrote me a love letter-"
"Yes, so me."
"IT WAS YOU?!?!?!" Astonished, he stares at you blankly. How is this even possible? Did God hear his prayers?
"Yup. It was me."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I just didn't really feel like the embarrassment. I didn't wanna be rejected after pouring my heart out like that. It's scary Senpai."
"Then why now?"
"'Because it was eating away at you. I felt bad so... sucked it up. Whatever makes you happy, right?"
"Y/n-Chan... I'd never reject you."
"What? Don't you like someone else?" You get off the wall and turn towards him. Arms falling, you continue, "You just said-"
"'That someone else is you."
Your eyes soften. ""Oh..."
"Well? What-"
You grab his wrist and start walking off .
"Where are we-"
"Shush."
You continue leading him, enter a convenience store, and buy two pork buns, though he insists that he could pay. Then, you take him to buy a little river, onto the docks, where there's a perfect view of the moon and it's reflection dancing on the water.
"Sit," you command, while doing the same. He does as told. "Why are we-"
You hand him a pork bun. "Eat."
"You gotta answer-"
Dropping your head onto his shoulder, you start eating your own bun.
"You're welcome to put your arm around my waist if you want to."
"But- I- you still haven't-"
"Senpai, I'm in love with you. The letter already told you that. You like me... may as well make this a date, right?"
He laughs a bit. "You weren't gonna ask?"
"No point."
He puts his arm around your waist, and you scoot closer. For a long, long time, you two stare at the bright moon, eating your pork buns. He'll say something sweet, and you just smile, replying with something along the lines of, "That's super cheesy."
All in all, this is the best night of his life.
