Yawning, you walk into your classroom. You didn't sleep last night. You were up late studying, so you didn't get much sleep. You take your usual seat, beside a boy who isn't popular, but he's known. He's on the student council and has a pretty bad reputation. He beat a classmate back in junior high, all because of jealousy. It's absurd, but that's what all the witnesses say. Of course, you don't fully believe it. There was likely some other reason, but you're not one to pry.
"Good morning.," you say.
It's just you and him in here, making the silence awkward.
"Morning," He lies his head on the desk, closing his eyes.
"Do you want me to wake you up before class starts?"
"Nope."
You frown. "You do realize this is why you're failing, right?"
"Yup"
"How responsible as a member of the student council." You roll your eyes.
"Mhm."
"Alright. Have fun repeating a year." You start to pull your stuff out, though see him open an eye from the corner of your own.
"'You look tired."
Unintentionally, you yawn. "I didn't really sleep last night. Per usual, I guess."
"Up all night studying again?"
"Mhm."
"You really need to get a hobby."
"I don't want a hobby."
Truth be told, he's a good-looking guy. Tall with more muscle than one would expect. And who doesn't like a good emo? And you know he's a nice person. Everybody hates him, but you really don't. There's nothing to not like. He may not be the best at studying and a bit weird, but he's decent enough.
"You should try gaming. It's fun."
"Gaming?" You look back at him, finding him to be giving an earnest look. "I'm no good." Holding up your hands, you continue, "These fingers are only good with a pen."
His face darkens a moment, but then he sits up and clears his throat. "I could... teach you. Or whatever. Hmm?"
"Oh. There's no need. I don't have much interest anyway."
"What? ls there nothing that you enjoy in life?"
"What? Do you have no reason to enjoy life?"
His face drops a bit, clearly taken by surprise and a bit called-out. "You didn't have to bring that one up."
"I heard about you proposing a Happy Tax on the clubs. That was quite cruel. I didn't realize your jealousy could go so far."
"They don't deserve happiness."
"I think you need therapy"
"You're only just now realizing this?"
"Seriously, you should really get some help. Maybe people would like you more."
He cringes. "Nobody will ever like me."
You sigh. "If you think you're hopeless, won't everybody else?"
"They already do."
"Not everybody thinks that. The student council thinks you're great. And I think you're pretty decent, too."
"There's no way you actually think that. Stop lying." He puts his head back on the desk, closing his eyes again. "It's nice of you to try and make me feel better, though."
Your frown deepens. "Ishigami, I really don't dislike you. You're really nice when you want to be, and I don't believe a word of those rumors." You tilt your head to the side. "Beating a guy out of jealousy sounds literally ridiculous. What type of yandere pycho does that? This is real life, not a stupid light novel or whatever."
His eyes get a bit huge, and he blinks them a couple times. "You really think that?"
"Yeah?" You start shaking your head. "I don't really care for the details, but it doesn't mean I believe these stupid rumors. It doesn't make any sense. And besides, there were no witnesses. Anyone believes something without any evidence or real witnesses it a moron who should be ashamed to go to any prestigious junior high."
"Y- yeah.."
You give him a smile now. "You don't have to tell me, but I'm serious when l say I don't dislike you and I most definitely don't believe any ill rumors of you."
"Thank you"
It's a bit of a lie. You really do want to know. You're not sure why, though. Ever since you met him, you've been so curious. You'll never understand it. There has never been a time where you truly took interest in. Not like this, anyway.
His eyes are closed and his face is peaceful. Silently, you study his features, just like every day. Yuu Ishigami. First- year student. Treasurer of the student council with awful grades. An emo, depressed boy with anxiety. And the boy that lives rent free in your mind. Knowing he can't see you, your gaze softens. Your eyes trail down to his lips, fixated.
Students walk in, but you take no notice. They don't concern you. Just this boy. A troublemaker, though good at heart, you suppose. The bell rings. A bit somber, you turn your attention to the teacher, a small sigh caught in your chest. You could honestly spend all day looking at him. He's far more interesting than world history.
During lunch, you stare over at Ishigami. He's with his friends from the student council, saddening you. If only you were brave enough to ask to sit with him. Talk to him regardless of the circumstances, and not needing some excuse to. It's pathetic. Top grades in your class, and you're dumb enough to let a boy make you nervous.
Sighing, you eat your rice. He probably hates my guts. Thinks I'm a nosy pick-me. With every doubtful, negative thought, you stab the different foods on your plate.
Classes let out for the day, and you watch as he heads toward the student council room. Sneakily, you take his game out of his bag, plotting. About five minutes after he's gone into the office, you knock gently, then step inside. You find the contents of his bag spilled, and everyone looking around the room.
Smiling, you hold up his game. "Hi. I'm so sorry to intrude, but Ishigami left this in the classroom. I came to return it?"
Ishigami rushes over and takes it from your hands. "Thank you. You're a lifesaver."
"It's no big deal. Glad to be of service."
"Uh-I- anyway-"
The raven-haired girl--Shinomiya--looks between the two of you, then a smile comes onto her face. "How would you like some tea?" she asks.
You immediately perk up. "I would love some. Please and thank you."
"I'll get some brewing. But, oh! We don't have any cookies!" She looks to the president and secretary. "You two come with me to get some. It's quite urgent."
Before either you or Ishigami can protest, she has them out the door.
Awkwardly, you fidget. "Er-" You play with your fingers. "Think I could sit down?"
"G- go ahead."
You sit on the sofa. "Would you like to sit, too?"
Rigid, he sits across from you, face a bit pink. He wasn't like this earlier.
"So.. how long do you think they'll be?"
"Dunno,"
"Oh.." You look around. "This is slightly awkward."
His cheeks go from pink to red. "It's fine-"
"Your face is so red." You stand up and sit beside him.
He tries to back away, but you keep getting closer, eventually grabbing his face. "Do you have a fever?"
Gently, you press the back of your hand to his forehead. "Y you're so hot! Maybe you should see the school nurse-"
"I'm fine. But please. B- b- back away."
"Why? ls something wrong?" You like being this close. Having your hands on him. Feeling his body heat. You wish it could last forever.
"Uh-"
You notice his eyes trail down, but then right back up.
"Fine. If you insist." You scoot away a little. "Better?"
"A- a little."
"You weren't like this earlier. Are you okay?"
"Fine"
"Okay."
You eye him suspiciously, but then your stare just goes soft. He's so cute like this. You just want to take his face in your hands and squish.
"I hope they're back soon. Those cookies sound really good."
"Yeah. Most definitely."
The door opens, and everyone is back. You drink your tea and eat your cookies, making light conversation. Fujiwara is very, very good at carrying a conversation, though you wish Ishigami would talk more. If only he weren't so awkward. Or maybe liked you more. Then he might give you some more attention.
It's raining. And to make things worse, you have to walk to school and don't own an umbrella. Unlike most students at your academy, your financial status is low. You're only there on scholarships. So, your only transportation is your own legs, and you don't have a means to stay dry. Your clothes stick and weigh you down, making it harder to walk. There are annoying stares, most of which appear to be in disgust. You don't exactly have a great body. Plenty of curves, yes. But maybe too many. A lot of people don't like them. They make you ugly. They're the reason you're like Ishigami. Why you don't have very many friends --or any, in this case.
'Maybe that's why he doesn't like me.", you mutter, looking down at your body. "Even someone like him wouldn't want anything to do with me."
Staring at the ground, you continue on your walk. Once in front of the building, you dare look up, already hearing them mutter about your body and financial situation. They pick you apart, targeting all the "bad things" about you. They leave you with hardly anything.
"Her eyes are okay,"
"She has pretty healthy hair."
"Her face wouldn't be so bad if it was slimmer"
You're used to it. Really. But it still hurts. But you won't ever admit it. Never. You see Ishigami, eyes on you. Well, more like your body, it would seem. He's judging. You know it. For some odd reason, that makes you crack. Tearing up, you rush inside and straight to class.
You practically throw your self into your chair, and sob into your hands. "I'd hate me too." You say. "But I still want him to at least like me a little."
"I- if he hates you," says a familiar voice. "T- then ignore him."
You shoot your head up, finding Ishigami. "You- pretend you didn't see this." You wipe your tears with the back of your hand.
"I- I don't know what stupid guy you're talking about, but he obviously isn't worth it, okay? So... cheer up."
You start to shake your head. "I don't even know what I want from him. One minute, he's fine around me, but then the next he can barely talk. And- and then today he was staring and I- and I know he was judging me for... this." You gesture to your body. "I already know I'm unattractive. But it still hurts."
Looking you in the eyes, he says, "You're not unattractive."
"Then what am I?"
His face gets red. "A lot of things."
"You're not helping. J- just leave it be"
He sighs a little, but walks toward you. From his bag, he pulls a towel and hands it to you.
"Here. Dry yourself off."
You shake your head. "I don't feel like it. If I'm lucky, I'll get sick, and then I can stay home."
"Don't talk like that." He puts the towel on your head, then starts drying your head. "Who else will make sure I stop leaving stuff in the classroom?"
Mh... Last week most definitely wasn't the first time you played that trick.
"L/n?"
"W- what?"
"Your body is far from unattractive." His hands start trembling. "You- you have a very nice one. So...don't listen to everyone around here. And don't believe that stuff. If you won't believe you're attractive, how will anyone else?"
"It doesn't matter what I think or how confident I try to act. What's the point when nobody is every going to like me?"
You put your head down as the tears start. You realize it now. You have a silly little crush on him. You want him to like you and think you're pretty. Stare because he loves the sight of you. To want you.
"There are plenty of people who like you well enough."
"W- what about you? Do you like you?"
"I-I'm rather fond of you, I guess."
"Please, don't lie."
He drops the towel, and you hear it hit the floor. His hands move from your hair down your face, grazing across your neck and brushing your shoulders. Then, he moves them by your collarbone, though they still shake.
"l like you a lot more than I should."
"Ishigami... do you mean what I think you mean."
"P- probably. It's okay if you don't feel the same. I wouldn't blame you. Between my unattractiveness and bad reputation, I wouldn't be, either."
"Do you really think that I'm decent enough? That I'm not too ugly to."
"I could never think that type of stuff about you. I mean, just look at yourself. Just my type." "What exactly is your type?"
"You," "Which means?" "Uh... that's a bit awkward."
"How so?"
"Let's just say I like things I shouldn't, if you know what I mean."
You shake your head. "I don't, but I guess I'll go with it."
"Well...do you find it gross? Or..."
"Not at all. I'm quite happy. And slightly surprised. I just said I thought you hated me."
"I thought that was some guy?"
"Some guy is you I actually... kinda like you a little."
"But...why? I honestly thought you would have better taste than this."
"Better taste? You're amazing, Ishigami. I've always thought that."
His hands begin to calm a bit, pressing against you a bit. Slowly, his thumbs begin moving back and forth on your lower neck.
"You don't know how happy that makes me." He sniffs a bit. Has he been crying? "Dang it. I almost enjoy life a little."
Slowly, you put your hands on top of his. "I- you don't possibly want me to be your girlfriend, do you? B- because, if you do, I wouldn't mind."
"I might just like that."
"Th- then maybe.."
"Hey, why don't you stand up?"
Though you're a bit confused, you stand from your seat, looking directly at him. His eyes are full of emotion, and he stares at you with slightly parted lips. Hesitantly, he puts his left hand on your waist, and his right against the back of your neck. Gently, he pulls you closer, fitting his mouth against yours You've only read romance books where about these things. A kiss. A loving and passionate and sweet kiss. Never once have you even thought something like this up, but dear Lord, you love this. Your mouths fit perfectly together, and his hands practically belong where they are now. Softly, he brings you down so that your back is on the desk. He starts to leave gentle kisses on your neck, leaving you to blush and remain a flustered mess, AS if to mortify you, people start walking in, staring at your and Ishigami. Flustered, he moves away from you, sitting in his chair and covering his face. Also embarrassed, you take your own sear, hiding behind a book. You can't believe that you two were caught.
