Just Your Average Bfdi Crackbook

I'm bored and lazy as shit so dont expect this to be any good

Blocky: I wanna tell you one story, uh. This- this was the best meal I've ever had in my life, alright? This happened when I was eleven years old in Goiky, where I grew up and it took place at a little restaurant called Gelatin's Steakhouse, which was a restaurant in the land. Yes, yes, you know Gelatin's Steakhouse? It's a wonderful restaurant in Goiky, which means that it caters mainly to children and homeless schizophrenics.

Blocky: Now I go into this place one day when I'm eleven with my best friends Pen and Eraser. We walk into Gelatin's Steakhouse one day, and they had a jukebox there, alright? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar, so we put in seven dollars, and selected twenty-one plays of Schmoyoho's "Just Push Through It." And then we ordered and waited.

Blocky: Here's the thing about when "Just Push Through It" plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not, "Hey someone's playing 'Just Push Through It'." It's, "Hey, 'Just Push Through It' is a lot longer than I first thought, and it has like a dip in the middle." You know how some songs have a dip, like Inanimate Insanity's "Recap Song" You're like, "Hey, 'the Recap Song's' over!" No it's not. There's more. The third time it plays, you're thinking maybe someone's playing "Just Push Through It" again. The fourth time it plays you're thinking, "Whoa. Someone just played 'Just Push Through It' four times, or at least someone played it twice, and it's a really long song." So, the fifth time is the kicker. Now, we're watching the entire diner at this point. Most people have gotten wind as to what's going on, and we're staring at this one snowball and he's sitting in his booth and his like hand is shaking while these stupid kids jump around and like he's been on to us since the beginning, and he's staring at his coffee cup like this and he has this look on his face like-ah- like he just got his thirty day chip from anger management. He's staring like this, and the fourth play fades out. It's dead quiet, and then, I don't know if you know this, but the song begins very subtly: "COME ON EVERYBODY WE'RE MORE THAN HALFWAYY" and the guy goes, "GODAMMIT!" and he pounds on the table, and silverware flies everywhere and it was fantastic.

Blocky: But a word about my friends Pen and Eraser, and what geniuses they was because, when we were first up at the jukebox and we were punching in the Just Push Through Its, alright? I'd punched in about seven, and then Eraser says to me, "Hey, hey, hey wait. Before we drop in another Just Push Through It. Let's put in one 'Counting on Christmas.'" And that is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven "Just Push Through It"s in a row, suddenly, "WE'RE COUNTING ON A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAAAAAAAS," and the sigh of relief has swept through the diner; people were ecstatic. It was like the liberation of the Yoyle Empire. You know, for years, scientists have wondered, can you make grown objects and integers weep teardrops of joy by playing Jacknjellify's "Counting on Christmas"? And the answer is yes, you can, as long as it is preceded by seven "Just Push Through It"s.

Blocky: And on the other hand, when we went back. Holy shit. "Counting on Christmas" fades out. It's dead quiet: "COME ON EVERYBODY WE'RE MORE THAN HALFWAYY" People went fucking insane. No one could handle it. No one could handle it, and they were surrounded by like this seemingly indifferent staff, you know, that was just like, "Yep, same shit as always." My only wish is that one of the schizophrenics had stood up and been like, "Now you know. Now you know what it's like to live in my brain." They unplug the jukebox after eleven plays, and that was the best meal I've ever had.

Blocky: Thank you very much, Yoyle City. This was great, thank you. Hope to see you again real soon. My name's Blocky McFucknuts. Have a good night.