𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙵𝙴𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝙽 [𝙴𝙽- 𝚁𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙴 𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙴𝙼]

Chapter 60

My eyes burned in agony. The ache at the back of my eyes whenever I blinked rendered me almost blind. There were too many of that purple string like structures blocking my vision. My head was splitting apart with that irregular thump in the left side. Almost like a hammer repeatedly hitting the spot.

I blinked back those colors in my eyes and reached for my migraine pills. It had been long since I've taken these. Almost a month. Yes, a month was really long for me. I downed a pill and collapsed on my bed.

Thankfully I'd eaten some noodles earlier so I could take it. Else I would have had to excavate the fridge for food or munch on biscuits. Which would be nearly impossible.

I rolled onto my side applying pressure on the side that hurt the most. I really missed my mother at the moment. She would've massaged my head whole I slept. And taken care of any light that spilled into the room. Because God damn that sliver of light in the room from God knows where was really annoying.

It was really cold and my blanket wasn't really doing much. I hugged Heeseung's jacket and rocked back and forth waiting for sleep to come. Tears started blocking my vision again. But I stopped them from coming. If I cry right now, with this headache and eye pain, I might as well be signing my death warrant.

But how could I stop it completely? When Heeseung had held me there for a long time, whispering soothing words, until I had almost fallen asleep? When I had finally woken up a bit, I found myself on his lap while he drove me back home? Just like how we had started off? And he had dressed me too. Was I that knocked out that I didn't realize he had put my shirt back on for me and also his jacket?

When I woke up, I made no movement to let him know that I did. When would I ever get to be with him like that again? If he knew I was awake, he didn't show it. But I wanted to curse when I saw the familiar area of the bus stop. I did not want to leave. And I'd say he didn't either. Judging from the slow speed he was driving in.

"Direction?" He had asked quietly.

So he knew I was awake. And this time, I had given in.

"Left."

And he turned the car to left. I did not know what time it was. But there were only a few vehicles around. I had finally rose from his chest to look at the road ahead. 2 more turns and we were in front of my apartment. He had kissed my forehead and waited till the elevator disappeared off his view.

And here I was now, thinking what if I had told him that I loved him back. When I felt my eyes closing, I wished I could see that in my dream.
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By the time I was up in the morning, my headache was completely gone. Also I was feeling refreshed. I wished I could take my pills when I was overwhelmed. But they were too strong for such endeavors. I went to my vanity to brush my hair and blew a kiss to my medication.

"You stopped me from going to heaven last night."

It was something I always did after a migraine ended. Because honestly, it was like a new life given to me each time around. Now that I thought of everything that happened last night, I felt really weird.

With the way my migranes were increasing in their intensity since the last few times, I felt scared to be alone at night. The next time, I may not be able to even move around to take my medicine. And the prospect of it left an unsettling dread.

When times can be so painful, stressing over guilt and remorse for boys when I'm feeling well seems a waste of time. I know they're not just any boys but still, when a death wish presents itself to me every now and then, it would be better to leave some stress behind and let things go as they were.