𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙵𝙴𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝙽 [𝙴𝙽- 𝚁𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙴 𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙴𝙼]

Chapter 108

I kept looking at all the gifts that were currently on the desk. All of them held some significance in one way or the other. Be it the customized headset from Heeseung or the the scrap book from Sunoo or the bracelet in my hand. I fiddled with the clasp and it gave way. I held the bracelet and admired Jake's craftsmanship.

Pieces of our crowns.

I gently placed it on my nightstand. Picking up Jungwon's gift, I ran my fingers through the silver design of the girl.

Feyre Archeron.

This was how I had imagined her starfall dress to be. But in the painting, it was clearly me. I've never mentioned ACOTAR in front of them. Or my love for the fictional dress. And Jungwon had unknowingly got this for me. He knows me a bit too well.

My eyes fell on Niki's diary. Curiously, I flipped it open. The stack of pages was different. Starting from yellow with faded ink to crisp white with bold ink. Like a lot of old and new books were bound together. But it was all in Japanese. All except the front page, which was in English.

This is me, Noona. Everything that I am. I'm entrusting it all to you. Please take care of it.

My lips parted. I flipped to the first yellowed page. I took out my phone and opened Google translator.

16th July, 2016

I got scolded by the teacher. I keep making mistakes. I never thought learning a step would be this hard. It's hard of keep up with the Hyungs. Key hyung told me to take it easy. He asked me to sit with him and Minho hyung. I miss mom.

25th July, 2016

I got nervous on stage. I messed up a part of the choreo. The teacher hit me. It hurt a lot. I can't talk to my mother for a few days as a punishment.

14th August, 2016

These people are bullies. I hate them. They started to hit me because the teacher praised my skills. I wish I could become an idol soon. I'll be really happy then.

I shut the diary.

I jerked away from it like I was electrocuted. Rubbing my hands over my face, I started pacing around the room. Why would he do that? Why would he give this to me?

Key Hyung.
SHINee.

All those different colored pages. All those memories and hardships that he had faced. All of them sat neatly bound on the bed.

Why would you do that, Niki? Why did you think entrusting your life to me was a good decision? Why did you think I could bear the troubles of a 12-year-old in the entertainment industry? Or see the vulnerable lonely boy behind the Iland's cute maknae?

My eyes fluttered close as tears streamed down. Reading this was hard. But knowing that it was all true and happened with Niki was heartbreaking. And not being able to comfort the 12-year-old was torture. 

Iland.

My hands automatically went to the diary. I flipped over for the year 2020.

June 30th, 2020

I'm scared for the performance. I got the centre and not everyone seems to be happy. Specially Heeseung Hyung. Him and K hyung are scary. I hope I can get the highest scores. I really don't want to go to the ground.

July 2nd, 2020

I failed.

Even though I know that he did not fail, thinking about him as a child writing those two words got me sadder. Did he cry while writing? Did anyone comfort him and encourage him to give his best? Or was he all alone in his room at night while blaming himself?