𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙵𝙴𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝙽 [𝙴𝙽- 𝚁𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙴 𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙴𝙼]

Chapter 63

I froze.

I shouldn't have. I should've expected it. He'd been calling me love for so many days. The first few times I thought it was a pet name he'd given me for any sexual activity. After all, he'd used it first in the skate rink. Until he had started calling me love whenever we were alone. After Heeseung had said that everyone pined for me, I should've prepared myself.

I wasn't prepared. But I wasn't panicking either. Because deep down I knew this was going to come. When he had given me the flowers and kissed me like I was a fragile porcelain doll. When he lifted me, for a fleeting moment, I wanted to stay in his arms forever. His warm smile then made me feel something strange. It was both longing and a sense of further weight in my heart.

I exhaled and held his hand that was at my waist. I twisted to the side and Sunghoon immediately turned me around on the wall so I was facing him instead.

The nervousness showed on his face. And I wanted to soothe it away. So that's what I did. I put my arms around his neck and caressed his face while I thought of a response.

He had the same eyes as Heeseung, hopeful and also fearful. I hadn't said anything to Heeseung last night. For Jungwon. And now, I was presented with the same heartache. But Jungwon knew about my involvement with others, didn't he? Heeseung did too. And Sunghoon does too.

I couldn't stay quiet. Not when Sunghoon looked so scared of my response. I let all others leave my thoughts and I concentrated only on him. I had to give him a response.

And my response was a question that I was burning to ask. Something that had been on my mind all the time for the past two weeks. But saying it out loud felt really nauseating. It was really risky. I did not want him to change his behavior around me. But this risk was necessary.

I opened the first two buttons of my shirt and moved the collar aside, revealing my neck and upper chest. And along with it the litter of scars. Pink, red and purple. Fading, recent and yesterday's.

"Even after knowing that you're not the only one who has marked me?"

I tried to say it quietly. But I guess I couldn't help the slight tremble in my voice.

"Knowing that others also like you." He nodded. "I'd be very happy if you chose me over everyone. I would be ecstatic. I don't really like to share my things. How can you expect me to share the girl I love?"

I looked down feeling really...numb. But Sunghoon lifted my chin to look at my eyes again.

"But that doesn't mean I won't consider your feelings. I know you like others too. I can see it in your eyes when you look at them. It is the same when you look at me. And I know you beat yourself up for liking so many people at once..."

My eyes widened. I had never told this to anyone.

"So I won't ask you to choose me. Just love me back and it's enough. And promise me that you'll never, ever, leave me." He said intensely.

"Sunghoon but-"

"I know we will be worlds apart soon. But I want us to make a small bridge between those two worlds. So we can have each other that way. A single call. A few texts. A word of assurance when I feel down. A word of comfort to tell you that I'm still there. A reminder that you love me the same way I do. That you'll think of me when you see or hear the word 'love'. That is all I'll ever ask for."

Desperation seeped into his voice. "Please."

A tear slipped past my eye and wiped it off hastily.

"Yes." It was a whisper.