Sidratul Muntaha

Chapter 120

Azfahan

Sidra walked back to the chamber that she shared with Nazlee, in a trance like state and closed her eyes as the smell of blood wrapped her up in a torturous cocoon. She raised her hands and watched them like she was seeing them for the first time then fell to her knees as she raised her head skywards. Her eyes reflected the helplessness she felt. She had fought battles and killed adversaries and she hadn't felt this way before. And yet right now, she was feeling like she had become dirty. She shook her head as she rewinded the past some minutes of her life and thought about them again and again.

"This was the reason I had asked you to keep yourself in control." She heard Daarim speaking gently from the doorway. Nazlee was by his side. She frowned and then turned away. "You are new to this... Its understandable."

"The thing that's worrying me isn't that I am feeling regret but that I am not feeling a shred of regret. And I am wondering if I am dirty for this apathy? Am I too heartless? Where has my mercy gone?" Sidra wondered. Nazlee went forward and hugged her from behind.

"You do not think of mercy when your loved ones are wrongly harmed by someone who hates you. Again and again that woman has made sure that you do not live peacefully and so this was a must. She had to answer for her actions." Nazlee whispered. Sidra shook her head in pain.

"What sets me apart from them then?" She asked brokenly. "If I am given another chance to redo this, I will still take the same decision once more. And thats why I wonder if I have become someone who has lost the sight of right and wrong." She said as she stared at her hands once more.

Before Daarim could answer, they heard a voice behind them.

"What sets you apart is the aim of your actions. Your intentions sets you apart. They raised their swords for vengeance, you did it for justice. They blamed you for something you or your sister didn't do. They took actions against you both that you didn't deserve. And you? You took action because she deserved it after all the things she has done and never regretted." Hamaan said strongly. She stood up and watched him interestedly. "Don't loose the sight of why you are doing what you are doing. Our actions and intentions must always remain clear to us so we can walk the path of justice. If you start mixing the two then there will be no justice in your world and especially by your hands."

"I understand." Sidra said slowly as his words cleared her haze.

"Wash your hands. The breakfast will arrive soon." He told her gruffly. He had an additional piece of information to share with them but he held back because he wanted them to eat first. He couldn't have them charge in without sustenance. Sighing softly, he turned, only to see Jaleed watching him with confusion. He turned away from the haughty prince and entered his own chamber. Whatever happened had showed him how decisive Sidratul Muntaha could be and she would need it to survive the oncoming storm.

•••••

Sidra ate food with Nazlee as the men had their food in a different chamber.

"The man looked shady to me." Sidra was telling Nazlee about Mavhif.

"Why do you say that?"

"He looked scared..."

"Anybody would after that display. Daarim told me everything."

"No... There was guilt in his eyes. Nazlee. That man has some hand in Amiza's situation. I don't trust him."

"So you say, your thoughts align more with Jaleed than Hamaan?"

"In this matter... I share Ibnu Salman's suspicions." She told Nazlee as she finished her simple breakfast.

"Then we will keep an eye out for him." Nazlee said seriously. "Why do you look so uneasy since you came to know about your Aunt? Is she just like your father?"