Missing and extended scenes of Wheel of Time - TV series

3x05 - Story E - Finding the strength to speak

We reach the beautiful and sad scene at the campfire.

Chapter 1 - Realization

Moiraine has a lot to think about. What's the Creator's plan?

Moiraine stared into the flames of her small campfire. She was still surprised that Beros had found her, offering to create a fire for her. She had assumed he wouldn't dare to get close to her if it wasn't necessary. But somehow, he must've kept an eye on her, and she wasn't sure if she liked that.

On the other side of the Spine of the World, the people kept a distance from Aes Sedai. And even when Moiraine had disguised herself as Alys, people had been too busy with their own problems to pay attention to her - which was something she liked. Moiraine worked the best from the sideline, watching and hearing everything while collecting all necessary information.

But hiding among the Aiel was difficult. They didn't allow many Wetlanders to visit them, so Moiraine, Lan, and the Emond's Fielders were surrounded by Aiel.

A shimmer caught the Cairhien woman's eye, and she turned her attention to the small object in her hands. The Sakarnen.

After her walk through Cold Rock's Hold, she had searched for a quiet place. Her head was still filled with all those possible future scenarios from Rhuidean. Scenarios, she still hadn't talked to anyone about.

And how could she? All those scenarios – or rather most of them – hadn't been really happy. Different scenarios of how she could handle Rand.

She remembered how she had bonded Rand as her Warder, but it had felt wrong. It hadn't been like being bonded to Lan. Having the boy's presence in her head... No. Turning the Dragon Reborn into her Warder wouldn't help control him.

Then, there had been moments when Moiraine had decided to become intimate with him. They had kissed, and the Cairhien woman remembered his fingers moving longingly over her body. That moment on the bed... Moiraine remembered very vividly how that Rand version had rolled her on her back. And when he had entered-

A wave of nausea rolled over the woman of the Blue Ajah. Blood and ashes! Surely, there were different possibilities for how to control Rand, but that scenario... well, it didn't just feel wrong. The simple imagination made Moiraine sick, and she felt like she needed to vomit. No. She would never share a bed with the Dragon Reborn. Never ever.

Why do you even try to control Rand? Her inner voice wanted to know. Have you forgotten the other visions?

Moiraine swallowed. Her other visions. No, she hadn't forgotten them, though she wished she could. She had had so many different lives. Sometimes, she had been the Amyrlin Seat. A role she had never wanted, and it would never happen in the future. None of her sisters would support her to become the next Amyrlin Seat.

But she also couldn't just return to the White Tower. Even then, things would end up ugly. And she had seen a lot of ugly scenarios. There had been so much blood. Either it had been Rand who got killed – sometimes by a stranger, sometimes by her – and then, there had been visions where she had gotten killed.

But you were never dead at the same time.

Realization hit Moiraine, and she released a trembling sigh. It was either Rand who had died, or she had died. Not once had they both died. But more importantly, there had never been a future scenario with both of them alive.

Another wave of nausea hit Moiraine. That couldn't be true. After everything she had been through, she was supposed to die?!

Tears burned in her eyes, but the Aes Sedai didn't care. Feverishly, her brain tried to search for another solution. There had to be something. Another explanation. Another glimpse of a possible future that she had already forgotten about. Surely, the Creator couldn't mean for her to die!