Thomas Sangster x Reader

Chapter 23

Kaya had dropped you and Thomas of at his house, it had been a fun lunch. You loved Kaya, really, she'd become a great friend of you. And Thomas... You couldn't look at him without smiling, and feeling like your stomach was going to explode because of the butterflies. And you didn't eat much. You couldn't eat much, because of that amazing feeling.

You went upstairs to change, so was Thomas. You were planning on wearing your red dress, nothing real fancy though, just an simple short sleeve red dress. But you loved it and felt confident (enough) in it. Thomas asked you if he should change in an other room, but you shook your head while you undressed. You put the dress on, but it had a zipper on the back so you asked if Thomas could help you. He slowly placed your (y/hc) hair to the side and zipped up your dress. 'It's beautiful.' He said gently and you turned around, looked up at him. You smiled and quickly looked at the ground. 'Thanks.' Thomas placed his hand on your cheek and you looked up at him again. You looked at his lips and kissed him. You placed your arms around his neck in the kiss.

When you let go, Thomas looked at your arm. You quickly let your arms fall, and covered the arm full of scars with your hand. You turned around, and looked at the ground.

'(Y/n), don't cover it. Hey, look at me. Do you trust me?'

You turned around again, your hand still firmly placed over the scars. 'Yes, I do...'

'Can I see?'

'It's ugly, I'll just grab a jacket okay?' You wanted to walk away but Thomas grabbed your arm.

'I don't think it's ugly. Please, just show me.' His voice was so gentle and sweet, almost like he was whispering.

'Okay...' You let your hand drop. Thomas took your hand and looked down at your scars.

'Why would you ever hurt yourself like this?' He stroked over the scars with his fingers. His voice was filled with concern.

'I... I don't know.' You looked down at your scars and you knew why you did that, hurt yourself. It made you sick in your tummy. You were able to put that feeling away for a long while. But talking about it made it come back a bit, but somehow it did feel like a relieve, talking about it.

'I think you do.' He looked you in the eyes. His eyes were penetrating in yours, like he was looking for the answer there.

'I blame myself.'

Thomas frowned, like he didn't understand. 'I blame myself for their deaths'

'Why?'

'I wanted her to deliver in the hospital. But I was sick, at home... I stayed... fucking... home... I just thought it would be saver for her to deliver in the hospital, Ella, my aunt, thought it wasn't necessary, but I forced them. It was my fault. I would come later... but then, then they died. And it's all my fault.' You could feel the tears coming, but you stopped them. You covered your face with your hands and Thomas wrapped his arms around you. You wrapped your arms around him and buried your face in his shirt. 'It's not your fault, (Y/n). It could never have been your fault.'

You let go of him a bit, and looked up at him. You weren't crying. 'I'm sorry...' You forced a smile and looked down. 'My mom bought this dress for me.'

'It's beautiful.' Thomas whispered. '(Y/n), please promise me that you would never hurt yourself again.'

You let out a sob and looked up at him again, genuinely smiling because he cared so much, and you loved that. 'I promise.'

'Good.' He leaned forward and placed a kiss on your lips.