Pure; omegaverse

CHAPTER FOURTY FIVE: YOONGI

     I pretend not to be easedropping on the alpha's conversation outside the tent. So Jin is pregnant? Well I guess that means I won't be alone, at least. I assume Jin would be much happier about his circumstances than me, however.
      It's not like I never knew it would happen eventually and to be honest if we hadn't had met these alphas I'd still probably be pregnant by now. By an alpha I didn't want. Probably hated and resented.
      I don't hate or resent Hoseok. He's treated me pretty well, actually. I could just imagine that that other alpha i was promised to never would have put up with my illness over mating. He probably would have discarded me and replaced me. Made my life miserable at the very least, ashamed of me.
      Sighing, I roll onto my back and glance over beside the curtain at Jimin. He's not sleeping, either. He looks conflicted, actually. "You okay?"
      His eyes slowly raise to meet mine and he nods after a moment. "Just ready to be where we're going."
      "So..."
      "Yeah?"
      "How is your thing with Namjoon going? He seems tense lately?"
      He bites his lip. "I'm really selfish, aren't I?"
     I give him a look. "If I can do it then there's no excuse for you. It's wrong to treat your alpha the way you are despite the fact he still respects and treats you so well. I never thought you'd be like this, honestly." I admit.
      Huffing, he sits up. "I can't help it! I'm scared!"
      I sit up too, trying hard not to wake Jin it make us noticeably to those outside. "I was, too! Still am scared, Jimin. You think Jin wasn't scared? That every single omega doesn't go through this crap?! You act like you're the first one to ever suffer through any of this! You think that other alpha would let you act like this? No, he would have forced and ravished you! Most likely hurt you, too!"
      He flinches, tears welling up. "God, I got it! You hate me, too! I'm a worthless spineless selfish brat!" He sobs, dropping his head on his knees.
      Sighing, I crawl over to him and pull him into my arms. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm just...stressed and taking it out on you. I don't think you are any of that, okay? I get that fear, I really do, but you have to know Namjoon isn't going to hurt you."
      "Not on purpose." He mumbles.
      "Well it can't be controlled. You have to let nature happen. An alpha can only hold off on his urges for so long. I'm surprised he's managed this long without snapping." I remind him.
      He nods, wiping his eyes and resting his head on my shoulder. "I'll think about it on the way to Taehyung's house. I really don't want to be selfish but it's hard to just ignore my fears and let it happen."
      "I know. It was awful for me. I thought I was going to hyperventilate and die. Hoseok was really patient with me every time, though. I know yours will be, too. If you haven't noticed these alphas aren't like the others."
      He gives me a watery smile. "Right. Like you've even met any other alphas."
     I smile. "No but I can imagine. Those alphas that put claims on us before even meeting us..they don't care about us. It's all about breeding and appearances. Who has the prettiest and most obedient omegas...it's sickening."
       He nods. "Yeah. That's true."
      I lick my lips, hesitating. "Do you wonder who Taehyung and Hoseok really are?" I ask quietly. "They seem to be important people. Did you hear Taehyung? His family is the founders of this whole sanctuary mating thing..."
      He frowns. "Yeah. Taehyung doesn't seem the type to be into that business. Same about Namjoon." He stares outside at the three. "I wonder about him, too. I mean, I want to trust him but they don't like to share..."
      "They know pretty much everything about us. I think I'm going to ask Hoseok a lot more questions about this 'family business'. Hopefully Jin will, too."
    

      Jimin and I part just before the alphas come in to sleep. My mate takes first watch so I remain alone with my troubling thoughts while the others have one another.
      Eventually, Taehyung switches and Hoseok comes in and cuddles up behind me, kissing my neck and my bite mark. I close my eyes and feel my body relaxing naturally. I haven't been able to sleep lately.
      I feel his fingers thread through mine. "I know you're awake, sweetheart. You okay?" His voice is low and calm. I wonder if he heard Jimin and I talking.
      "Can't sleep."
     "Wanna talk about it?"
     I stiffen. "Talk about what?"
     "What's keeping you awake."
     Sighing, I roll over in his arms and look into his eyes. They show only concern and affection. "Who are you, Hoseok?"
      He blinks in surprise, frowning. He snorts. "What do you mean?"
      "I mean...I don't know you. I know you were arrested for protecting an omega from a beta and escaped. Framed. Lived on the run with Taehyung...I know your family is important and you and Taehyung are all that's left, right? I know nothing else about you or your life before all this." I explain quietly.
      He sighs. "Not that interesting. Taehyung was always supposed to lead the family business. I hated every part of it. Yes, I still spent the money we made off alphas making claims on omegas...I'm not proud of myself. I'm not perfect but I'm not evil or hiding things from you, baby." He stares into my eyes, serious and sure. I notice he looks uncomfortable. He is hiding something.
      "You were planning to get mated before all this, right? You would have used the same process, right?"
      He hesitates. "Yes. It's the only way to claim a mate. The legal way, anyway. I would have applied and paid to receive an omega. I would have been a priority for the sanctuary because of my status—same with Taehyung. I would have gotten my first choice and treated them very well..."
      I nod slowly, pulling away from him. "Did you have an omega in mind?" I ask, no idea why this matters so much. He claimed me. But why do I feel like just a second choice by circumstance. He never wanted me. He never would have picked me. That much is obvious if he already had one picked out...
      He groans, trying to pull me back. "Don't be like this. I love you. I'm glad I never got my choice."
      I wince at his choice of words. Wow, okay. "Sorry you got stuck with me. Wish you would have got what you wanted." Tears well up and I'm ashamed. Angry. Embarrassed.
       We quiet down as Jin gets up and crawls out of the tent to be with his mate. Sniffling, I cover my face. I hate this. This...weakness. I'm so weak. Hoseok makes me weak.
      "Baby..."
     "Who was it?" I have to know. I don't know why but it's important. Do I know them?
      He presses his lips into a hard line, obviously not wanting to answer me. Glaring, I sit up. "Tell me. I deserve to know. And tell me the truth. I'll know if you lie to me." I demand.
      Slowly, he sits up as well. Obviously reluctant. "Why does this matter so much?"
      "It just does."
     He huffs and shakes his head. "Jin."
      I still. "W-What? What about him..."
      He pegs me with a look. "It was Jin. He was my choice at the time. I didn't know any of you or even him but I had chosen him on a whim. If I hadn't of gotten in trouble...if things would have been different...I would have mated him." He admits.
      I'm stunned. Speechless. My alpha...my mate...was meant to claim Jin? My best friend? How...how can this be...
       This also means that he had reviewed me and Jimin as well since our claims were being placed at the same time.
      And he didn't choose me.
      He lied to me.
      He knew this whole time that Jin was supposed to belong to him and yet so willingly let his own brother take him? Where the hell does that leave me? He even pretended not to know right recognize Jin. What the hell...
      Jin was his first choice. And yet he never once showed it. Didn't even try to fight for him or anything. God, would he do the same if someone else tried to take me? Just give me up no problem?
      How could he be like this?
      How could he do this to Jin...to me...I feel used.
      Second choice.
      I have no idea who this alpha is...god, I'm so stupid.