Pure; omegaverse

CHAPTER SEVENTY EIGHT: YOONGI

     "Are you comfortable? Need me to move you? Do you need to use the bathroom again—"
     "Can you please shut up." I whine, rubbing my face against Hoseok's stomach, breathing in his familiar scent. I roll onto my back and try to find a comfortable position. Unfortunately nothing is comfortable.
     I'm ready to pop and I feel it with every movement or breath I make. I'm scared but don't want to talk about it—especially to my mate. What would be the point? I share my fears with Jimin but that's it.
     Since Jin had his pup...we've all been on edge. Helping him take care of the baby without Taehyung around has been a huge wake up call. I'm really fucking scared.
     I'm not as strong as Jin. I don't think I can handle the stress of having a pup without my mate to help me. I know we've been working through our problems but I'm worried that more issues will come up and then what? I'm not sure our relationship is strong enough to handle another fall out.
     I don't want to do this alone.
     Honestly, I don't want to do this at all.
     I knew I was never cut out to be a parent. Having pups has always been a secret fear of mine but I forgot that for a while, getting distracted by Hoseok's seductive luring. And lies. His very much unappreciated and ridiculous lies, the ass.
     He's trying. I know that. He never leaves my side and constantly does everything to make me as happy and comfortable as possible but it's just not helping. It's only growing my fear of co-dependence. I don't want to need to rely on him but I have to. I need him to be here for me and our pup.
      He runs his fingers through my hair, humming lightly. "Want me to take you back to bed?"
     Chewing my lip, I reluctantly nod. The couch is only hurting my back more. Grunting, he stands and stretches before lifting me up into his strong arms and carrying me up the stairs to our bedroom. I can still hear Jimin and Namjoon in the kitchen bickering and the baby cooing happily from the next room.
      I'm gently sat down on the bed before Hoseok kneels before me and begins rubbing my ankles and feet. I groan, flopping back on the bed and staring blankly up at the ceiling. "You don't have to—"
     "I want to." His voice is determined. His strong fingers work the painful swelling and knots out of my muscles.
      "I don't want you to." I whisper.
      He pauses. "Why not?"
      "...."
     "Why won't you just let me take fucking care of you? Why are you making this so hard, Yoongi?"
      I frown, refusing to answer him. To be honest...maybe I don't even know why I'm being this way. He's really trying to work it out but I keep resisting. 
      He sighs and sits down on the bed beside me. "What do you want from me? What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm sorry? I'll do anything to make it up. I love you. I want to take care of you and our pup and make things better but you just won't let me." Frustration heavy in his voice.
       I begin to tremble as I hold back tears. "I'm scared to depend on you. I don't want to need you." The truth comes out in a broken sob. I hate it. Hate my weakness.
      Forcing me to sit on his lap, he cups my face and holds my gaze prisoner. "Baby, I'm your mate. You are supposed to depend on me. It's my job."
     "I don't want to just because it's the expected thing! As you said—you think of me as your job."
     "No! You're taking that out of proportion and you know it. I'm here working it out because I want to! I'm here with you doing everything I can because I need you, Yoongi. I can't fucking live without you. Even if you hate me for the rest of our lives...I'll never stop being here praying you will need me as much as I need you."
      I stagger a breath into my lungs and try to look away. He doesn't let me. His eyes are suspiciously wet but it's hard to see for sure through my own tears as he presses his lips to mine. It's not sexual or lustful. It's a vow, a promise. A deeper meaning.
      "Alphas do not need their omegas." I whisper against his lips. "You can replace me."
     "You're irreplaceable, Yoongi. To me...there is no other. From the very moment I laid my eyes on you. I'm not a good person. I've fucked up so much but please give me the chance to prove to you and myself that I'm not a monster. That I will do anything for you. For you to believe in me again. I don't deserve it but please...every time you keep me out or close up on me...I die a little inside."
       I don't speak for a long time and he doesn't force me to. He just looks at me while I look anywhere but at him. I don't know. My head is a mess and I'm just confused. Scared. Broken. I want to give this a chance but I'm afraid to trust him again. Afraid to hurt.
      I do love him, too.
     I'm afraid for him to know it. To show any real emotion and give him the power to destroy me. I did it once and the pain...is not something I want to relive.
      "Yoongi..."
     Sniffling, I rest my head on his shoulder, afraid to meet his eyes. He rubs my back soothingly and I feel my body relax.
      The moment is calm. Everything is okay.
     "You don't have to forgive me or love me back, omega, but please...let me take care of you. Don't hurt yourself to hurt me."
     I open my mouth to reply but freeze in my place instead. Hoseok's entire body stiffens under me as well and his hands tighten around me.
      "Yoongi." His voice wavers making me swallow hard.
      A whining cry pierces the room and I realize with a start it came from my own throat. A tear slips down my cheek.
      My water just broke.