Pure; omegaverse

CHAPTER SIXTY TWO: NAMJOON

    I feel like my heart is being shattered into a million tiny pieces. My body is numb and my mind racing. I can't read Jimin's mind but I can feel him. Feel his pain. Feel his hurt. Feel his depression.
     And it makes me want to jump off a fucking bridge. I did that to him. My anger. My annoyance. My lack of patience hurt him so deeply...I haven't even seen him in days. I've been too full of cowardice.
      I can't face him. Not after what I've done. What I continue to do to him. I need to get over myself, though, before he's too far gone to reach. I have a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.
      I force my legs to move and leave the bedroom I've been hiding myself away in. I'm the alpha. I need to fucking act like it and grow up. I need to take care of what belongs to me and no matter the circumstances—Jimin is mine.
     I walk into the kitchen, living room, garden, and cellar but can't find him anywhere. I know he's still here. I can sense him still. I see Jin. "Hey, have you seen Jimin?"
     His eyes light up. "You ready to talk it out finally?"
     I nod. I'm glad he's not mad at me anymore. I know he blames me for everything and he would be right. I also know he locked Taehyung out of the bedroom for three days just for defending me before calming down and relenting.
      I felt bad about that, honestly. I don't want to be affecting everyone else's relationship, too. Seems I'm just a fuck up all around.
     "Do you know where he went?"
     "He said he was going to lay down. Didn't feel well."
     "I've checked upstairs but can't fine him."
     He pauses. "I saw him go upstairs a couple hours ago."
     Hm. Okay. I head back upstairs and try to feel him out. He has to be here somewhere.

     It takes me several walks around the house to see it. The small hidden door closed off past all the other bedroom. I push the door open and walk up the tiny dirty set of stairs only to find another door.
     Frowning, I push it open and my breath catches at the sight before me. Jimin is asleep on a small dusty bed, the evening sunset shining over him like a halo making him seem almost angelic.
     He's so beautiful.
     And sad.
     Even in his sleep, he's troubled and lonely. I truly hate myself. I made him feel this way.
     Making sure to stay quiet so I don't wake him, I lift him gently into my arms and carry him back downstairs to our bedroom. The one I've basically locked him out of all week. Shit, I'm an asshole.
     Laying him on the bed, I admire his perfect features, running my fingers through his hair. He smells amazing like always. I need to clean him up, though. He's covered in dust.
      I run the bath and add some bubbles because I know he likes them. After some mental debate, I strip naked and do the same for him, planning to hold him in the bath so he can sleep while I wash him.
      I need to take responsibility. He's my responsibility and I've been failing miserably. No more. What could I really expect from him? He's a scared and lonely omega who's watched his closest family get mated and be happy. Of course he would want the same thing.
     I can't hate him or resent him for that. I love the thought of calling him mine, I just...the circumstances weren't right. I wanted him to be sure but maybe I'm not giving him enough credit. Maybe, in his mind, he was sure.
     I need to have more faith in him. He's my mate. I have to trust he knows what he wants.
     I hold him against my chest as I slip into the hot water, holding him tightly as he breathes evenly against my chest, his thighs wrapped around me like a small child.
     The thought makes me smile. He looks so innocent. He doesn't deserve everything he's been given. For a long time I blamed him for what my life became but it really wasn't his fault. I don't blame him anymore.
     It was all my fault. I was where I shouldn't have been in the first place. It could have been any omega I stumbled over. Maybe it was fate.
      He stirs as I wash his back, stroking over his smooth skin softly in gentle rubs, all the while watching his face twitch. He's cute. 
     I've had the last few days to really think about how things are going to change. How maybe...just maybe...this was meant to be. We are supposed to be together. I have to believe that.
     And I'll never let him harm himself for anything. Especially not because of my stupid actions. I know he's been starving himself and I plan to take care of that real fast. I'm going to live up to the name of being his mate. No more being stubborn or selfish. No more hurting him. I can't do it anymore.
      "W-What..." His eyes open and he peaks up at me, rubbing his face. "N-Namjoon?" He looks around groggily, frowning at our surroundings.
      I smile softly, whispering, "I found you."
     His gaze meets mine and holds. His lips trembling as a tear slides down his cheek. Staring lovingly at him, I pull him into a soft, slow kiss. Our lips melding together so perfectly.
     His little whimper is like music to my ears. The sweetest music I've ever heard. "Jimin...I'm sorry I hurt you."
     His eyes tell me he understands I'm apologizing for a lot more than now. I'm apologizing for everything from the very beginning.
     "I...I forgive you. I'm sorry, too."
    I wipe his tear off with my thumb. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I do want you, Jimin. I'm just a stubborn alpha. I never meant to hurt you, baby."
     He clings to me, wrapping his arms and legs more tightly around me, quietly sobbing against my chest. I thread my fingers through his hair and just let him cry it out. He needs to let it out. He needs to let me see and take his pain.
     "It's okay, Jiminie. I'm here, okay? I won't leave you. I'll take care of you." God, Ive been so stupid over him. I truly don't deserve him.
     "J-Joonie?"
    "Hm?"
    "...I think I'm pregnant."