Astrophilia 💫 Huang Renjun

💫 1.23

"Jihyun?" Renjun spoke again, worry filling his mind as she didn't answer his question.

He began fidgeting with a loose thread on his hoodie nervously. Did something happen? Is she okay? The silence killing him, feeling like an eternity before she eventually spoke again.

"Yeah? Sorry, the teacher asked me a question."

Renjuns brows furrowed in confusion, her once vibrant and happy tone dimmed down immensely. She sounded sad and upset, thus making Renjun more worried.

"Hey, are you okay? Did something happen?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine, don't worry about it." She said reassuringly, but despite Renjun having never met her, and this being their first time actually talking, he could tell she wasn't fine. But he didn't want to push.

{}

"Hey Renjun, is it okay if we pick this conversation up later? I'm so sorry. I feel like such a bad soulmate." She said, covering up her current tear glassed eyes with normality.

Hoping that her voice sounded normal and not weak.

"You aren't a bad soulmate Jihyun, I hope you really are feeling okay. Have fun, okay?" His voice was sincere, calming and kind, and this only made Jihyun feel worse.

The heaviness of her tear finally broke the seal, freeing itself to the warmth of her cheek, staining it as it fell effortlessly.

Jihyun wiped away the tear quickly, afraid that one of her peers would see and that was one of the last things she'd want them to see.

She felt broken, like a porcelain doll gaining its first cracks from use, the cracks the would break down her face, her hands, her heart.

The cracks that would show her hollow, black insides.

She had never hurt this much before. She hadd been at the school for no more than 6 months, but nothing had hurt more than rejecting her soulmate she longed for.

She knew she said they'd talk later, but that didn't change the fact she blew him off. She could only imagine how hurt he was feeling right now, and she blamed herself.

Maybe she didn't deserve him.
Maybe she didn't deserve anyone.

{}

Renjun sat there, forearms resting on his bent knees as her played with his fingers, eyes never faltering from the Earth.

The slow rotation bring countries in and out of darkness, watching as the sun illuminated the horizons. It had always felt surreal watching the Earth.

Watching the clouds form patterns of many, watching major cities light up during night time, how the stars complimented the colourful circular planet.

But as he watched it now, he felt sadness pry at his heart. It was not the fact that she asked to talk later,

but the fact that something had happened and he couldn't stop it.