The Siren's Song

Chapter 99- and healing balms

KOOK POV:

(Y/N) vanishes. Vanishes because for the following few days there's no sight of her. The only connection we have to her are the odd texts that she sporadically sends or replies to. And even the words of her texts feel lethargic and exhausted. Feel run-down.

And though her texts say she's fine, the nervous, fretting feeling doesn't abate. 

It worms away at me, taking root and spreading out, that feeling of wrongness panging inside me when days slip by and there's no sight of her.

And whatever call we do make either goes unanswered or is picked up; voice drained and weak that none of us had the heart to keep her on call, not when it sounded like she needed the rest, when it sounded like breathing was laborious.

And the days slip by in an endless constant cycle of worrying and fretting.

"Do you think she's eating well?" Jin hyung asks at dinner on the third night, worry flickering in his eyes as he sets down the pot, curls of steam hiding the pain in his face only temporarily as he sinks down, posture slumped and hunched.

Joon hyung's hand curls around a glass, ink-stained fingers settling against it.

"I hope so. Mi-sun and Habaek will take care of her, they won't let her waste away." he says assuredly.

But the words feel hollow.

No matter how well Mi-sun and Habaek were going to be looking after her, it still didn't make that fear vanish. It didn't make the worries disappear.

"I don't think she's been sleeping well. All her responses are late at night, and her voice..." Yoongi hyung murmurs quietly, slipping into the seat beside Tae hyung- giving a small reassuring squeeze to his leg as he sits.

"Is exhausted. So, so tired." I finish, head dropping forward to glare obstinately at the wood of the table, furiously willing that familiar prickling sensation at the corner of my eyes to abate.

I was tired of crying.

Tired of having all those worries pile up, bubble and build and without any reassurance, any proof that (Y/N) was okay, they spilled over as hot tears trickling down my cheeks, pressed into pillows, into my hands, into the hands of one of the others, into fabric. 

"Do you think we can see her soon?" Hobi hyung asks, dull and that spark dimmed. Not as bright and not as loud. Dimmed because now there was this gaping absence at home, there was this active awareness and feeling that something...someone was missing. Because even though (Y/N) didn't live with us, didn't stay with us- there was this presence that she had and right now it was missing.

"We said time. As long and as much as she needed. But...I miss her." Jiminie hyung says, looking miserable as he curls against Joon hyung.

"I need her. Just close...just there so we can see her. I didn't want to leave her." Tae mumbles.

The silence that follows as Joon hyung, bravely, begins serving, the clanking of the dishes and serving spoon hitting each other drawing Jin hyung out of his fretting, to gently tug it free.

"You stay still." He warns lightly, a light tug at his lips as he begins to ladle food into bowls.

"Look on the bright side of things... (Y/N)'s saying she's okay, that she's doing well. We just need to wait." Joon hyung says, tapping my hand when he sets my bowl down, drawing my attention upwards. I watch as his fingers curl around my palm and give a squeeze.

Hissing when steam brushes against his skin when Hobi hyung lifts a lid off, hand unconsciously tightening.

"Waiting sucks." I mutter vehemently.