The Siren's Song

Chapter 45- revelations

HABAEK POV:

There's something different in the atmosphere when I next meet with Namjoon. I don't know how to place it...something heavy almost weighing in the air. And there's a careful, calculated look in Namjoon's eyes as he waits for me to sit down, and the moment I open my mouth to talk about where I think we can begin the research he cuts me off, voice smooth and measured and sounding thoughtful.

"The research...who's the person you're doing it for?" he asks, fingers twiddling with a pen but his gaze is focused and unwavering as he meets my eyes, staring intently...almost in an observing manner.

I feel slightly defensive at the tone of his voice, why does he care who it's for? 

"Why do you need to know? And more importantly...why does it matter to you?" I ask, leaning forward and staring back just as intensely.

He leans back, the silent exchange of careful glances broken when he drops his head to the pen and when he looks up at me there's almost soft...understanding in them?

"I'm just curious I guess you could say. But it matters to me...it matters a lot. Especially if it's for who I think it is." He says carefully.

I tense.

"Who?" I ask.

He doesn't fiddle or beat around the bush this time.

"(Y/N)." he says simply.

I look at him, trying to gauge whether there's any maliciousness in his words, any hidden and well-disguised amusement, or hidden agenda.

"And if it is?" I ask.

"Then like I said I'm in this with you until the end. (Y/N) deserves to be liberated of whatever it is holding her back, she deserves to speak because she wants to." He says easily.

But there's deep emotion in those eyes, flickering transparently- worry, concern, softness.

"Why? Why do you feel that?" I ask. Not because I feel doubt, that's been dismissed when I see how open and transparent his emotions are. But because I want to know. Know what it is that makes him so eager, so willing and wanting to help. Why does he want to help (Y/N) speak?

Is it misplaced well-intentions? Sympathy? Concern?

"Because I care about her. Because when she told us she was selectively mute, it made me want to try harder and try every possible course of action to get her to speak, but because she wants to open herself up to the world again. Not because she was forced to." He says.

There's such a genuine rawness and softness to his words. But all I can focus on is the fact     (Y/N) told them she was selectively mute. That she felt comfortable, secure enough to tell them that. And that alone is a huge accomplishment. More huge and more special than he'll ever know.

"She told you?" I have to ask again, feeling disbelief.

He nods and then smiles a bit sheepishly.

"Well actually I accidentally blurted the question out first. But she answered." He says.

My mind is whirring but more than that my heart and soul are exulting, overcome with happiness and pride for her, for the step she has taken. 

"I won't ever push to ask what it is; what factors have caused her to stop talking but how long has it been?" he asks carefully, knowing full well that it's a sensitive matter, all the more heightened because the person this research revolves around is (Y/N).

"Since she's spoken?" I ask. He nods.

I sigh, how long has it been since I've heard her speak in public? Laugh in public? Tease and joke whilst we were out- exploring during the day and sometimes even when Mi-sun managed to pull the two of us to clubs at night? Or how long it's been since I've heard her speak without fear and caution, without pain tainting her soft voice, or without agony tearing my heart apart?