The Siren's Song

Chapter 26- coping

JIMIN POV:

The sight of her dancing over and over is burned across my mind, I feel my heart twist in pain for her because I know what she's doing, she's trying to lose herself in the music, in dancing so that the world melts away. And as hauntingly beautiful her dance is, I can see the exhaustion that clings to her frame and yet still she insistently shoulders on, pushing herself through the choreography over and over again. It's something new and yet something so profoundly timeless about the agony she's conveying, the feeling of being lost that can resonate through history. 

The dancer in me is appreciative of her talent but it's also the dancer in me that winces when I catch sight of her dancing barefoot, of seeing the plies and other ballet moves she incorporates that I know for sure will leave bruises behind. Bruises to go along with the purple finger marks on her arms and the red scratches on her skin. She's a canvas depicting pain and yet there's nothing anyone of us can do to stop her. We shouldn't be here, shouldn't be watching because this is something so personal, so intimate that we don't have the right to, and yet here we are at the entrance to the studio frozen in a mixture of fear, worry and awe.

And I realise that perhaps something much deeper is going on, the pain we'd seen in her eyes runs far deeper than any of us had imagined. None of us for a single moment thought that she could be dealing with something, that there was a reason behind her silent nature more than shyness. There's such a tempest of pain and suffering begging to be released and yet she doesn't shatter her composure or fine lines as she dances, she keeps it bottled in still, contained within her.

I feel an arm tug at me and see Kookie turning as well. Hobi hyung is looking at us with tormented eyes.

"Let's go. We shouldn't be watching." He whispers.

He's right. We shouldn't be. This is her escape.

We shouldn't be watching.

Even if some part of yearns to turn back and give her comfort, turn back and ask her if she's fine, if she needs anyone or anything.

"But hyung..." Kookie says in a defeated tone.

Hobi hyung shakes his head.

"She came here for space, for some air. We shouldn't take away what this dance means for her." he says, voice firm and soft.

And yet still his eyes are pained too, as if the sight of her exhaustedly pushing herself through the dance over and over was unsettling, making him want to turn towards her too.

As if it's taken every last shred of resolve to pull us back, to give her that space.

"Let's go." He murmurs, tugging Kookie with him and yet even as I follow I find my feet faltering, begging to turn back.

"Give me a minute." I say without waiting for an answer, rushing off towards the large kitchen.

I quickly take out a bag of ice, putting the large cubes into an ice pack bag, securing the lid on it tightly. I open the first aid kit and get out a tin of salve, it does wonders for bruises and injuries. And hurry back to the studio, I don't dare make a sound as I leave the two against the wall near the door, hoping she'll use them, that she'll give herself the things needed to heal after pushing it through to such lengths. And with one final glance to (Y/N) I turn away, even as I feel that somehow I'm abandoning her as I move to leave.

HOBI POV:

The drive back is sombre, none of that hopefulness that we'd come with, the air tenser and stiffer. The image of her dancing keeps playing itself on a loop in my head, stuck there and incessantly replaying the memory of her body dancing again and again. The movements were flawless but the sheer pain I felt from watching her was so immense that it made me freeze, her body was shaking with exhaustion, with the force of holding her emotions back and yet still she continued to push herself through it.