The Siren's Song

Chapter 23- in deep waters

JIN POV:

What had been one of the most exhilarating dance practices I'd seen, four of the most beautiful, soulful dancers I'd seen move had quickly gone from a rush of emotions to this sinking feeling of despair.

I didn't know how (Y/N) was going to react but when we'd been given the text from Hobi, we'd been excited, elated to tell (Y/N) that we all knew each other just how we all knew her- I'd imagined surprise, full rosy lips to part in surprise or shock, perhaps a moment or so of being stunned. But not this, never this. 

What I had hoped would be a pleasant surprise and drastically changed so quickly, all of us had been unable to hold back our cheers for their performance- for seeing this wonderful dynamic and chemistry. And then she'd suddenly slumped- as if the sound of them had shocked her, but what shocked me, what still made fear zing through my body was the way she'd suddenly curved in- as if in immense pain. The three had dropped down next to her, trying to get her attention, to see if she was fine- the sheer fear and worry in their voices had propelled us all forward, had cut the exuberance joy off as we'd hurried to hover fretfully over her. Yoongi had gone silent, face paling slightly and I saw the worry floating in dark eyes. Tae was holding onto Joon but even so he'd been the first person to drop down into a crouch in front of her, to join the other three in calling out for her- deep voice cracking slightly as he asked her to tell him that she was fine, to give even the slightest signal that she wasn't hurt. I could see the way her body trembled, held up on shaky arms and when she'd raised her head I knew I hadn't mistaken the pain that had been drowning her eyes, tears gathering.

Tae tries again.

"(Y/N) are you okay? Can you give me a sign to let me know you're okay?" and she meets his eyes, looking at him but her lips don't separate from the tight press of them, as if she can't answer.

Unable to bear it any longer I reach out to touch her shoulder, and she turns her head up to look at me- silent still as she shakes.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" I ask gently, forcing the panic not to bleed into my tone and affect her.

Silence and just as Yoongi is about to reach out to tap her hand, to get her attention when it looks like she's zoning out, losing focus on what's happening she suddenly flinches, shrinking back and my hand falls off her shoulder. We watch as she staggers onto unsteady feet, rushing to get her things- a stiffness in them, but also fear. 

And stumbles past all of us, who are frozen but even as Joonie and I turn to stop her, to go after her but she rushes out. And even though the maknaes and Hobi had been left frozen with the suddenness of the departure we all go after her. 

Because even though our friendships with her are newly forming, not yet strong and firm- there's still this urge to go after her, to make sure she's fine. She has been nothing but kind and gentle and sweet, has left an impression of her silent sweet ways that I find myself hurrying away the quickest.

And I feel my heart squeeze itself in pain for her when I see her shakily get into her car, see the way she grips at the steering wheel with a tight grip and curves over it, body shaking slightly. I watch as she locks herself in, spends long minutes there to compose herself. It's clear to all of us that she's hurting, that she wants to be alone even as Kookie starts to move past us to get to her.

Yoongi stops him, wrapping an arm around him and tugging him back even as he turns worried large eyes towards him.

"Kook-ah no, give her space." He says even if it's clear the idea pains him too.

"Hyung she needs someone to be there for her." Kookie insists as he tries to move past the barrier his hyungs pose.

I can't help but look at the sight of her alone and vulnerable in the car and wonder whether we did that.