The Siren's Song

Chapter 36- small steps, big hopes

JIN POV:

"Do you want to come over? Tae said you were going to go out to take photos at night, why don't you have dinner with us first?" I ask turning to face (Y/N), feeling a flutter of nerves as I ask her, feeling anxious to hear her answer and apprehensive that she'll reject me. I don't know why it seems daunting face to face, why it seems harder to ask this way. Maybe it's something about her natural charm that makes my palms feel clammy, make my ears burn as I wait for her answer. Maybe it's because I realise that I very much don't want her to say no and the silence that follows is daunting and intimidating.

She pauses from where she'd been about to turn away to walk to her car, hair whipping around her face slightly as she turns. I watch as her hand rises to brush her hair out of her face, the gesture so gentle and careful.

Her face expresses a mixture of shock and warm surprise, lips curving up.

But then she shoots me a tight meaningful look, eyebrows raised in silent question.

"It's not me cooking, it's JK and Yoongi!" I say, knowing very well what was running through her mind. Very much doubting my head chef status.

I have absolutely no idea how without saying one word she seems to express how funny she finds my jokes, how without one word she's able to convey so many thoughts and unspoken sentences. I keep wondering how her eyes can be so extremely expressive- how each shift and silent change in her eyes speak volumes.

They're so incredibly alluring- the way she holds multitudes of emotions in them and manages to convey what she wants without speaking. But it does make me wonder about how long she's been unable to speak- I did catch that Joonie had spoken to her using sign language that night, he'd even shown me the book later on when I'd brought it up, but it made me wonder how quickly she had to adapt to not having a voice, how hard it must've been to suddenly not have that choice any more and made me infinitely grateful and humbled to realise how much of a blessing a voice was.

I was more than willing to bet that had she still been able to speak, her voice would've just added to her charm I knew, would've added to the natural appeal she had. But more than that I knew that if she spoke, I'd find myself desperate to make her laugh, to hear her retort wittily- there was a fire in her eyes that hinted that could she speak then she wouldn't hesitate in challenging me so outright.

It makes me feel a pang of wistfulness before shame sweeps in to wash it away in heavy waves- that I shouldn't feel that way when it's something beyond control, something she can't help.

She's looking at me, scrutinising- the intensity of it similar to Yoongi but the entire serious effect spoiled because of how her soft features just make her look adorable instead- the image of a chick coming to mind, small and adorable; the urge to swaddle her grows day by day, something I rarely feel for someone unless they're close, until they're considered a dongsaeng, someone I look out for as my own. And oddly enough I don't mind it all, rather the thought of one day being close enough to have that liberty stirs up warmth inside me.

Her phone is held out towards me.

Not a bother? I can't turn up unannounced and uninvited.

I shake my head at her, laughing at the bemusement on her face.

"Oh my dear (Y/N), I'm the eldest- and as eldest I get certain privileges and liberties. Such as inviting people without warning. And second thing you should know- we never make food in small amounts." I say, unable to stop the laugh at the way she grins at me and unable to stop feeling pride making my head lift higher, shoulders straightened as she looks at me- I will not have my authority undermined. Let her see how much power I hold over them.