The Siren's Song

Chapter 27- slowly stepping out

(Y/N) POV:

I remain curled up next to Mi-sun unnie, eyes vacantly staring at the TV and the light rom-com she'd picked for the two of us to watch. But I can't seem to focus on it or grasp onto anything- regardless of how easy it is to focus on the plot. The actors are moving on screen, displaying some incredibly sweet moments but I just can't bring myself to gush and squeal over them. 

"(Y/N).... (Y/N)." I feel myself being shaken.

I blink away the slight glazed feeling to sit up from where I've been leaning into unnie, curled up next to her on the couch. I look at her and note the sad expression on her face and when her hand comes to cup my cheek and push away the strands of my hair, I lean and melt into the touch- soothed by these small touches.

"Sweetheart you need to get out and get some fresh air. Why don't you turn back to your hobbies again? You were happy." She says, eyes soft and concerned as she looks at me.

I sigh, eyes dropping to stare at the blanket the two us had been cuddling under.

"Unnie I don't know if I can see them." I mumble.

"See who?" she presses.

"There are some people that I've slowly started warming upto. Have started seeing them as friends...but I think I disappointed them, pushed them away when I ran out when I felt the calling." I mumble.

She sighs, fond and sad.

"Sweetheart look at me..." she waits until my eyes slide up to meet hers.

"I think you might be thinking wrong. I think you're also afraid of truly letting them grow close." She says, somehow able to see right through me.

Able to see that it's not so much how we'd left things last time but how I was scared of letting them in too close, how I'd formed an attachment of sorts and was scared where it would take me.

And a part of me somehow knew that they'd understand, that if I told them something came up they'd give me that space, they'd be there for me.

And I couldn't decide whether the thought terrified me more or warmed me more.

"I'm scared of things going wrong. I'm scared of getting close to them." I confess.

She sighs and looks at me understandingly.

"You can't let that fear stop you from living. You can't let fear stop you from having a chance at being happy sweetheart." She says softly.

And I know she's right. That her and oppa have always been the voice of reasoning, have always urged me to slowly step out of my comfort zone, to see life in colours other than black and white.

"She's right...for once." Habaek oppa says as he enters, face splitting into a smile when it rouses a giggle out of me.

"Wanna start off by going to dinner with me?" he asks, voice hopeful as he approaches.

Mi-sun unnie gives me a nudge, stretching outwards and dislodging me slightly and laughing even as I grab onto her all of a sudden, eyes widening with surprise.

"Go ahead darling. I'm beat." She says yawning.

"And besides, I need to know whether the bridesmaid will ever become the bride! I hate her sister too." She huffs, refocusing her attention on the screen and pressing play.

And as Habaek oppa offers me a hand to help me up, I feel a slither of the playful me slip out and I purposely block her sight as I leave, giggling when she protests.

Maybe I'll watch the movie later, properly this time.

And pad off to change.

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