Thinner

27

Interiors.
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Breathe in.

Breathe out.

It was that easy.

They said.

But today, it was surprisingly different. He didn't need to breathe in today. Today wasn't a bad day. It wasn't exactly good, either.

It was just fine.

Alright.

Fine.

That's how it felt. Nothing more.

It was one of those days where he found energy to get things done and over with. He had a brighter mindset. It's not the brightest, but it's bright. He  had taken a shower without even thinking about his body for once, focusing on getting the steps done like how his therapist advised..it helped. He got dressed in a pair of nice garnet red colored overalls, with a velvety texture, a thin knitted beige sweater underneath. He felt comfortable.

He had finished two meals and two snacks by now. He wasn't looking forward to the next one, but progress is progress.

Though.

One thing was missing.

Or maybe two.

Chan and Hyunjin.

He hasn't seen them since two days ago when they painted together.

But he anticipated seeing them at least once today. He was looking forward to it, neither expecting it. But he hoped to see them, praying they had some spare time today.

Despite the quiet atmosphere through the hospital today, there wasn't any room or time for negative thoughts today. Not that anything special was happening. It was just that one day when everyone's energy aligned perfectly. The weather, on the other hand, was gloomy and dripping droplets of water. It wasn't extreme. It was calming. And nothing felt better than sitting in the empty lounge area for the patients alone, with the sound of rain hitting the window and a book in his hands to direct his full attention span to.

It sounded aesthetically pleasing. And boy, it felt pleasing.

Immersing himself in a world beneath reality brought him comfort, and he appreciated the newly stacked books his therapist provided him on their second lesson as a coping mechanism. It was a kind gesture..most probably just her job, but it was nice feeling like someone deeply cared about his problems.

And it helped. And he hoped it wouldn't be temporary.

The book was quite a toll taking by surprise. And maybe it deeply had a form of effect on him, how he related line by line. It made him feel like as if he was there, in that very moment.

"Do you think there's room for a companion?" The familiar voice made a brief smile appear gently on his face, looking up between the inked pages of paper. Glancing at the Chan, who approached a snack box in his hands.

A certain detail on the latter's arms caught his attention, frowning at the fabric wrapped around it.

"What happened?" He asked, pointing out the bandaged wrist that seemed fine two days ago.

"I had a little accident at fysiotherapy, a sprained it due to overstimulation. It should be fine in like 2 weeks, so no need to worry" he explained, sitting himself down by the younger. "It's quiet today..isn't it?".

"Yeah, I like it. It makes it less chaotic not seeing a doctor running towards an emergency 24/7" he chuckled, closing the book shut as he placed it neatly beside him.

"That's because the ER is shut down for the next week..it's temporarily moved to the other side of the hospital".

"Why?".

"I heard something about water leaking in, so they are currently fixing the issue" Chan stated, looking gently at the younger who stared at him in silence. "I was thinking..that since Hyunjin is currently visiting his family for a birthday party...I thought that maybe you and I could take a trip outside" he proposed, looking back into the younger's orbs in hope to get a positive answer.

"I'm not allowed to exercise..and it's raining" he sighed, not knowing why that freedom had to be taken away from him.

"There's a mall 5 minutes from here. A jacket and a wheelchair should get us going".

"Chan-".

"Please, I really wanna spend time with you outside of these white walls. We see the same shit everyday, let's explore a bit!" He whined, almost begging the boy at this point.

Jeongin felt unsure. He hasn't left the hospital since he arrived months ago. He hasn't breathed in fresh air for all those months included. He felt detached from the world beneath him. Chan was asking one simple thing, and he felt like he wasn't able to provide him any of it.

Maybe he was just too introverted to even think about the fact that it could be fun. Maybe he was too afraid to look sick in front of everyone he would pass.

There wasn't a word to describe the crippling anxiety he felt just by thinking about leaving the hospital once. He didn't know why he was scared. It just felt unsettling to him.

A soft sigh came from the older, who seemingly has already accepted the fact that the younger wouldn't participate.

But Chan had no idea about the guilt that ate the younger up from within, when the eyes the younger saw was filled with disappointment. He didn't want the older to feel upset. And maybe he should try to conquer the new and unfamiliar fear he has developed with the pitside world. Maybe it wasn't as bad after all.

And he couldn't let down the desperate attempts in getting him unboard. The whole idea of willingly pushing him around in a wheelchair just to spend time with him made him happy deep within.

"You know, it's fine-".

"I'll go" he muttered, sitting himself more upright to appeal more confident to the older.

"What?" He questioned, in a surprised tone, almost happy. As he tilted his head to process the words.

"I'll go with you..you are right, I do need to get some fresh air.." he admitted, smiling briefly as he stood up in front of the latter happily.

"Wait..are you for real?!" He asked excitedly, jumping up as he smiled brightly.

Jeongin giggled but immediately pointed his index finger at the older.

"Just grab that damn wheelchair before I'll change my mind".