Thinner

35

Solitary.
________________________

It wasn't that he didn't want to say goodbye to his newly made friend, but the time came eventually to go back. Back to all the beeping and scrambling around, the chaos and the drama, people running front and back.

Yeah, he wasn't exactly excited about being back.

The hospital was awfully loud today, and he already missed Hajun's warm, humid apartment. With the smell of tobacco lingering the walls of his flat. But even so, sometimes good moments will be put to an end. Even if it's temporary, it will still hurt.

Being back meant that he no longer felt safe with the meals he ate. It meant that he couldn't face Chan nor Hyunjin even if he wanted to. It was back to being alone and suffocating in silence. In one way or the other, he genuinely hoped that either of the men would come to their senses and talk to him. But maybe he was the one needing to initiate contact, yet his heart was still cracked.

As he would have never thought, retrieving back to his room spotting a bed beside his made him wonder in confusion. Let alone a familiar back facing in his direction, causing him to lose his breath for a moment.

In that moment. He genuinely thought he should have taken the chance at running away.

This was horrible.

"I'm not excited about this neither, spare me the glare" The typical sweet voice penetraded his ears as he closed the door behind him..he could feel the tension in the room, his pulse pumping faster than ever.

"I-..".

"I don't feel like talking" he turned around, his usual soft eyes were sharp, his plump lips pursed into a thin line.

Jeongin was upset. Infuriated, to be exact.

Who was he to act so selfishly?

"Why are you in my room?" He asked, trying to stay calm, but his fists were shaking so violently, his legs felt soft and unstable. The silence hurt more than the expecting answer. The cold shoulder sent goosebumps down his back, shivering. "Hyunjin, speak to me!" He raised his voice slightly, surprised over the subtle dominance he portrayed with his voice.

"Speak? Am I supposed to speak? I vividly told you I did not want to talk!" Hyunjin argued back, drawing the curtain between him and the younger.

But Jeongin wasn't having any of that bullshit. He has waited and waited to talk to either men about the situation. He had looked forward to seeing them after that evening outside, only getting his heart broken by the constant cold shoulders he received.

He didn't deserve anything else than an apology, an explanation. He did nothing wrong.

So why were they treated him as if he murdered their entire family?

Tears rolled down his cheeks as he held in his sobs, trying to cry silently even if it didn't work out. He wanted to scream and yell at them both for how ignorant they have been towards him, treating him as if they never cried together, never cuddled up in a ball together, acting like they were fawns made his whole body shut down.

"You owe me an explanation" he sobbed, his hands balling info fists, his vision blurred by the liquid of his tears that streamed down his face like a river.

"Not now, Jeongin-" Hyunjin jumped back in surprise when the younger tossed open the curtains, backing the older up to his bed.

"Then when? When do I get the explanation from the two of you? Huh! Can you tell me that?! You know how it felt like to suddenly be completely outlasted by the two people I truly looked forward to seeing every single day?!" He cried, feeling cold as he only stood in a pair of basket ball shorts and Hajun's shirt he borrowed this morning.

"You won't be able to get an explanation from Chan either way, just wait till I feel like talking" Hyunjin spat. But Jeongin was far from done.

"You both owe me one, and I refuse to wait longer..or else I'll complain to the nurses about this" he was aware of the sudden blackmail, he was pulling a Hajun..and maybe in this situation, it was valid, maybe it wasn't..but he needed the answers to all the sadness he felt since that day. "Answer me!".

Hyunjin looked away, and his eyes seemed to glisten as he sat down on the floor. Pulling his knees against his body as the younger stood above him, staring down at him. Trying to visualize everything surrounding him.

"Chan isn't here".

...

Those three words made his heart drop. His eyes stilled, his breath stood still for a moment, his ears ringing.

Chan isn't here.

He isn't here.

Where is he, then?

"What do you mean?" He asked, his voice subtle this time as he lowered himself down to Hyunjin level, hearing the way his breath shook.

"Chan got transported to another another clinic specialized in physiotherapy..he will finish up the rest of his 2 months program, and then he is done..he has to go back home after..Chan is not coming back" Hyunjin mumbled.

The only question that went through his head at that time was, why?

Why did he get transported?

"..how long has this been planned for? A-and when did he transport?" He asked, sitting beside Hyunjin, who looked at him with teary eyes.

"The ward and Chan's family have been discussing this with him the same day he asked you to go on a walk..when he came back, he was disappointed because you rejected him, but he wasn't mad at you..he was told that exact same evening that he would transfer sooner or later..he told me to not talk to you about it, and we sort-of got distant..which never was our intentions..but it happened, and then you left for a whole week, and Chan fear turned to reality..he was afraid he wouldn't see you before transferring, he wanted to tell you everything" Hyunjin explained, shaking his head.

It dawned on him..it was never their intention to hurt him..it happened out of nowhere, and he held strong resentment towards them..and now he felt guilty.

"Chan wanted to see me?".

Hyunjin nodded, chuckling slightly.

"Yeah, he kept delaying his departure to see you until he was told you wouldn't be home until today" Hyunjin smiled softly, feeling relieved to get the stress off of his shoulders.

Jeongin stared at him for a moment before he carefully laid his head on the latter's shoulder, relaxing as soon as Hyunjin started playing with his hair.

"It's been a wild season, hasn't it?" He asked, enjoying the soft touch he received.

"At least Chan is fully recovered soon..it should only be a good thing".

"Then why doesn't if feel like a good thing?"