Thinner

58

Dazzling.
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"Did you drink?!" The worried man abruptly exclaimed when he noticed the sluggish walking younger, that has stepped into the kitchen in the middle of the night. Staring at him as if he were some obscure alien that just teleported inside the apartment 10 seconds ago.

The youngest of them two was too intoxicated to even hum out a reply and instead chose to take a very unpleasant looking seat on top of two different barstools at once. He let out an irritated groan as he rested his head against the fake marble counter, all in an attempt to cool off his drunken thoughts.

He was lucky enough to get followed home by Hajun, who was somewhere out there, drunk as he could get. Wandering the streets alone at night.

But at least Hajun was built for it. He wasn't. So even in his completely empty and dazed mindset, he felt grateful for the latter's kind gestures.

"You left just to get drunk, Jeongin?" The man asked, a look of concern planted on his face when the younger threw himself over and started vomiting on the floor.

The oddly nostalgic sensation made his body shake in shock and terror. The eye contact with his own bodily fluids getting absolutely everywhere within his eyesight made his stomach churn even more. The flashes of memories of his mother almost dying of alcohol poisoning and getting puke stuck in her throat seemed to just immigrate his hazed mindset.

"Let's get you some water, yeah?" The latter spoke as he held a cold glass of water against the boy's lips. Hands holding tightly against his waist, and a gentle hand holding his hair to keep his head backward. "I'm going to go get Hyunjin. He is sleeping right now and-".

"No, Chan, don't. I just need some sleep" he mumbled, feeling his heart sink when he felt the sudden need to avoid Hyunjin.

"Jeongin, what's going on? You have verbally expressed to me that you miss Hyunjin and that you want to see him again. And the moment he steps through the door, you dash out and get drunk?!" Chan raised his voice a bit, taking a step towards the younger to help him up from the floor. "Look, Hyunjin is my friend too..and he came because he wanted to see me. I had to pretend you were somewhere important so that I- no, you, wouldn't hurt his feelings and-".

"What do you even know, Chan? Im obviously not comfortable, so let me fucking be" he mumbled tiredly.

He couldn't understand Chan in the current state he was in. He wanted to just talk when he had sobered up enough to think straight. He was too much of a mess, with puke all over his clothes and dripping from his jaw. The smell was horrid, and it stuck so badly to him that he felt like puking again.

As he went to stand up, he only got annoyed by the helping hand Chan provided. He smacked the hand away and supported himself using the barstools he had previously sat on.

"I know you won't let me help you. But at least go take a shower you smell so much of alcohol and puke it's not pleasant to be around" Chan replied, looking at the younger with his own pair of tired eyes.

"You are not my da-".

"Yes i fucking know Jeongin. I'm not your father, and I'm damn fucking sure I can never in the world be compared to your dad in any form of way. So cut the fucking crap will ya?! I'm trying to genuinely be supportive here, but you are pushing me away as if I'm the pest itself!" Chan exclaimed, pointing his index finger against the younger's chest.

"Maybe don't be so fucking supportive then and just leave me alone!".

With that he stumbled towards the door he just came from 5 minutes ago,  vision blurring and his body feeling so tired and out of breath. He barely made it halfway before he chose to sit down in defeat. Showing his head in his knees.

"Jeongin..I really don't want problems right now..and I can't believe that I am saying this..but either you leave the apartment till you sobered up and go be an asshole somewhere fucking else. Or you will take a shower and head to bed" he explained as he went to refill the spilled glass of water on the floor.

But he didn't butch, he didn't say anything. In fact, he sat there with his head in his knees, not hearing a word of what Chan was even saying.

"I'm going to bed now..you can join me later if you want, or you can sit there and rot..I'm too tired to care at this point".

With that, he could no longer feel the warming presence of the older by his side. And he was left a complete mess, sulking on the floor like there was no more tomorrow.

He should have gone with Hajun when he invited him home. He should have just listened to him. He could have been in a better place, with no one scolding him or yelling at him..telling him what was wrong or right.

But he knew Chan had a point. He knew Chan was right.

And he felt disgusted by himself.

When he looked down at himself, he saw nothing but his own mother. A mother who wasn't even conscious the majority of the time, to drunk to remember and care to high to even listen to her own son. And he was doing exactly that to Chan..he didn't blame the older for putting himself first.

And he felt like a horrible human being.

Tiredly, he stood up to grab the refilled glass of water. He downed it in one go as he proceeded to grab some baby wipes to clean up the puke. Even drunk, he was still a master in getting the puke up with just 2 wipes, letting the sad accomplishment make him feel more proud of himself rather than bad.

He looked at the clean surfaces, stumbling over the trashcan to throw the two dirty wipes away.

There was no way he would let his own behavior affect his relationship with Chan..it wasn't fair to him, and neither was it fair to the latter.

"I'm not like my mother".