Thinner

59

Restlessly.
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He felt fresh after the long shower he had taken. And he was far more sober than a few hours ago. But he was still worried. The argument between him and Chan yesterday had really upset him. And he genuinely missed laying in his arms comfortably.

He sighed, looking at the annoying ticking clock. Eyes all red and puffy from crying. Trying to cuddle the thin blanket on the couch.

But nothing worked out. It was dawn, and he still couldn't close a single eye. 6 am, and the sky was only first now starting to wake up. And he hasn't even slept yet. Not since the argument last night.

Without a doubt, did he feel guilty for what happened. If he had never gotten so drunk and unrecognizable last night, there wouldn't even have been an argument in the first place. And he couldn't forgive himself for pushing away the older, who genuinely just wanted the best for him.

He realized how much he really fucked up when he first sobered up. Surprised he could even remember what happened in the first place.

With a heart sinking with guilt, he couldn't help but stand up and walk towards Chan's room. Chan was a light sleeper, nothing really made it past him, he was also an early bird so he was afraid to intervene with the older while he was trying to just rest.

Taking a quiet, deep breath, he stepped into the room. He didn't glance at Chan, afraid that he was awake and ready to confront him about last night, and he genuinely wasn't ready for that discussion yet. Once he was in front of the quite big closet, he stripped himself from his still puked stained hoodie, glad to have it off even after washing his own body clean 20 minutes prior.

He just chose a random white tee. Letting it flow over his thin proportions, trying to ignore the very visible weight he has gained since he has stayed with Chan.

His mind was too accompanied by the older that he felt a headache immerse from below his skull, penetrating his temple unpleasantly.

And all he could do was gulp dryly.

With his ears ringing, he turned around as fast as possible to get out of the room. He felt nauseous from the anxiety of even standing meters away from the latter, feeling like he was getting eaten alive by guilt.

It was horrible.

Dragging his feet tiredly against the floor, all he could think of was Chan in this room. It made him beyong guilty for what happened, and it swallowed him up like how a whale would swallow water.

"Jeongin, just come to bed and rest your little head for once" the voice that immersed from the half awake older in the bed beside him made him stop his uneven walk. "There's no need to be avoidant. You need the sleep".

"C-chan- i-".

"Shh, just come here" Chan spoke calmly, as the younger subconsciously moved his feet closer to the bed. His body felt heavy on adrenaline, fear covering his eyes while everything became blurry. When he felt Chan grab his hand, he swore he could feel the tears streaming down his face again. "Have you eaten?".

Jeongin gulped.

Eaten, ate, devoured.

That's what he felt.

He hasn't enjoyed a meal for a long time. He stuck to the small snacks and a ridiculous amount of coffee. But a meal wasn't obtainable.

At least not for him.

He felt nauseous and insecure when Chan asked that.

But he couldn't blame him.

Chan was right.

He needed to eat.

"No...but I can't, C-chan. I can't eat...I've gotten so ugly I can't, I feel so worthless I'm genuinely falling apart. And the worst is, is that I'm only bringing you down with me" he sobbed, falling onto the bed, into the man's arms, trying to gain comfort from the hold.

"It's fine for now..but you need to eat, because..it doesn't make you ugly, it doesn't make you worthless. I know you are stressed, and I know I shouldn't have lost my patience with you earlier..you didn't deserve it, I'm sorry".

Chans' words were beyond sincere. They were so honest that the younger genuinely felt it deep down his heart. The worst part was definitely the guilt eating him up after Chan apologized.

It wasn't Chan's fault but his own. The way Chan took responsibility for what occurred didn't sit right with him.

"No, Chan..I'm the one who should apologize, I shouldn't have even left in the first place. I was the one who came home drunk and unrecognizable, I'm so sorry".

"I guess we both had a lot on our chest since last night" Chan chuckled, pulling the boy closer into his embrace. "I'm glad it was just a short argument. I was afraid that I scared you too much, I couldn't live with that guilt" Chan admitted, brushing his lips gently against the younger's forehead.

"Chan. Now is not the time to make me cry even more" the younger sniffed as he held back his tears.

The way Chan handled the situation made him fall even more for the older. Just the pure sincerity and the honesty made him genuinely emotional to the point he felt like pouring his eyes out like the rain during a hurricane.

"Then it's good that I am here to comfort you..".

"Stop" he whined, turning his back to face the older, huffing in a joking manner in an attempt to brighten up the mood.

Chan chuckled in reply, grasping the boy by the waist as he continued to yank him closer against his own body. He locked their position with his legs and smiled at the boy within his grip.

"Chan, I just wanna sleep for once, stop bothering me".

"Oh yeah? Bothering you? But I'm so bored I feel like I'm dying, and I might need your help to keep entertained".
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Updates will be slowed due to an upcoming skitrip. But I promise to see you guys soon!!!♡♡♡