Thinner

82

Refrigerator.
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It was in the middle of the night, and Jeongin struggled to even close his eyes shut. The thought of Hajun being hurt or potentially in critical conditions kept him awake. With the thoughts that ran a thousand miles and hour tripping through the cracks in his brain, he decided to get up and get something to drink. Hajun was sleeping steadily, breathing was calm and heavy, and it made him feel glad that perhaps whatever Hajun consumed was running its final laps through his system. If brought him to peace. He just hoped none of that would have serious side effects on the male laying soundly beside him.

He sighed as he quietly slipped out of the bed, putting on a pair of slippers and stepping towards the door. He looked back at Hajun with concern before smiling to himself, knowing that he was safe and sound.

As he left the bedroom, he stepped into the kitchen. He was about to open the fridge before he saw a figure sitting up against some of the cupboards on the floor. He flinched as he clenched his eyes to try and recognize the shocking presence, calming down as he saw who it was.

"Hyunjin? What are you doing up?" He asked as he bent down, looking at the male who lifted his head.

His vision became clearer as he adjusted to the darkness of the room, breathing quietly as the silence had befell them. They stared into each other's eyes, barely visible, but enough to hold a deep eye contact. His eyes trailed down, spotting a bottle champagne in the latter's hands, cupped together around the rounded bottle.

"Where did you find that?" He asked the older who shook his head in disbelief.

"Where I found all the other million bottles of alcohol" Hyunjin sighed in disapproval, placing the bottle down on the floor beside him before turning his head upwards to the ceiling. "It's like I don't even know you anymore".

Jeongin pursed his lips as he tried to come up with a nice lie. His eyes trailed to the unopened bottle of alcohol before sitting himself down beside the older.

"Hajun party a lot. He has always been like that. I guess we all have hobbies?".

He hated himself within. Everything he have spoken to them since they arrived to purely help him has been nothing but lies spilling from his lips, his eyes shining with hope that they would believe him in desperation. He was afraid of a lot of things, fears he didn't know existed before getting into the mess of life.

"Partying isn't a hobby. But lying seems to be your hobby?" Hyunjin questioned as he looked at the younger. The hidden emotions behind his eyes were strong and unavoidable. And he couldn't bring himself to fuck things up anymore.

"Lying? I don't-".

"Cut the fucking crap, Jeongin. Why are you so different now? What the fuck is up with you? And what did Hajun take to become so fucked up? You are lying to me as if I wasn't with you back at the hospital".

Jeongin gulped, feeling the tears form as he felt anger rise inside of him. The mention of the hospital and the clear evidence that he was nothing but a pathetic liar made him want to choke. He grasped the bottle of champagne, popping it off quietly as he gulped down a good amount of it. His vision was blurred with tears, his throat stinging at the sensation of the alcohol  traveling down into his stomach, leaving behind a bitter taste.

"I told you not to bring up the fucking hospital" he cursed, taking another wholehearted gulp from the bottle, before wiping his mouth again. "You don't know shit". He hissed, taking another sip. His body felt fuzzy from how quickly he swallowed up the alcohol. "It doesn't matter what the fuck I've been up to. I gave you guys a chance, I left my parents, and I moved in with Hajun. That shit shouldn't matter to someone like you".

He felt the bottle being forcefully taken out of his grasp, his eyes glaring at the older who was visibly angry.

"You genuinely suck Jeongin. Chan was doing everything to protect you, to keep you healthy and happy, at that time i was only in the fucking side picture. In that hospital alone. Did you forget we all met there? Had our lives on the line there? The moment you opened up to us again, you made all these rules, and you still wonder why I am mad? Why am i upset with you? You know why, but you won't admit why. You won't even fucking talk!" Hyunjin yelled quietly, almost in a whisper. Jeongin could feel the pent-up frustration being lashed out on him.

"It's not fucking easy Hyunjin! Imagine being brought up in a home where love isn't even an option. Each day, I got beaten up by my dad. During just one day, I had to check if my mom was alive. The only way I was fucking satisfied with myself was having a bit of control. Because there was no control where I was brought up. Not eating was my control, my safety. Getting good grades was all in my control, being the best at everything but satisfying my abusive father who didn't see anything good in anything other than fucking a 14 year old girl in the same bed he and my mom would fuck on! Being the best in making sure my mom wouldn't choke on her own puke when she passed out drunk as fuck? Imagine listening to the moans of a minor that is years younger than you, that your father is fucking, heck, even years older than my mom at times! Think about being so exhausted and in so much physical and mental pain each day, only to go to school and be a stellar student with top priorities! That is just a fraction of my life, a tiny aspect of my fucking past that I barely could let go off. So Imagine having to leave my own mother behind, having no idea whether she is alive right now or suffering in her own fucking puke! Don't get me started on the fucking hospital!" He cried out, looking at the floor with nothing but tears wetting the surface. His body shakes at all the unwanted memories.

"Jeongin-".

"And the hospital was just horrible! I didn't even wanna be there. My first thought was when I could go home. When I could, in general, leave. I had no fucking idea I would spend months of my life caged up in there. And no matter how much you made my days easier and worth living while stuck in there, I was in pain, I wasn't getting better. They stuck a tube down by throat into my stomach to forcefully feed me. I had all legal guardians and case managers, social workers, doctors and my fucking teacher argue about what was ideal for me. And imagine my fright after finally settling down, getting told that I would have to go back home".

"Baby calm-".

"No" he shook his head, trying to catch his breath as he was pulled into the latter's embrace.

"Shh, it's okay, get it out".

"The moment I get back, I'm brought back to everything horrible. Barely weeks later, I left, sleeping from banch to bench, with no phone and no one to contact. The moment I get in contact with Chan again, I spend days sleeping in a stupid car. I didn't agree to get near his apartment in the first half. And I was stuck living with him because I had no one. Until I reunited with Hajun".

"Have you and Hajun always been friends?" Hyunjin asked, caressing the younger's sides as it calmed him down.

"Hell no. It was hit or miss. I ran errands for him, and he gave me his notes. We were using each other, and he bullied me half the time".

"Then why are you friends with that prick?".

"Because we are more or so the same story"